He Jin just stood there without explaining anything. Father He broke away from Hou Dongyan's grip in a hurry, pointed at He Jin again and said, "How did we educate you from childhood? How did you become like this? You Is it because of that person that you ran away from home last time? It seems that your mother is right in taking care of you, I was negligent, He Jin, He Jin, you let me down so much!"
After hearing these few words, He Jin, who was still holding on, felt ashamed for an instant. He opened his mouth and said, "Dad, I thought you would understand me better than Mom..."
Father He roared loudly: "You go out to live with a man! How do you make me understand you!"
He Jin clenched his fists tightly, like a cornered animal. If he doesn't explode, he will only die: "Dad, have you understood me? From childhood to adulthood..." He choked up, "Have you and Mom ever asked me?" But what do I think, what I want to do, what I don’t want to do, what I hate, what I like... I am a living person with thoughts, emotions, and self-will, not your puppet, nor a person without Items of the soul!"
Father He didn't seem to expect that He Jin would explode suddenly, and was shocked by his long words.
As soon as I opened my mouth, the accumulated resentment in my heart was like a mountain torrent bursting a bank, and I couldn't stop it anymore-"When I was young, I wanted to play games, but you didn't let me play. I wanted to learn the violin, but you didn't let me learn. My academic performance is reasonable. As it should be, if my academic performance declines, it must be because I want to fall in love and want to be bad. Some girls like me to write love letters to me, and my mother calls to insult others. As long as I don’t do what she wants, she will criticize me and educate me Abusing me, do you know how much I hate her! I thought that when I grow up, I will be able to choose what I want and what I don't want, as long as I get into the university you want me to go to, I will be free one day , but you have been forcing me to live according to your ideas... "
Father He: "We are doing this for your own good..."
He Jin choked back the tears that rushed out of his eyes: "But I don't feel good! I don't want to become a person I hate myself in the future!"
"So you want to be with a man?" Father He shook his head, helpless, "He Jin, this is wrong, even if you don't understand your mother's approach, you can't get angry with us!"
He Jin waved his hands, and shouted in a broken voice: "Dad! Why don't you understand! I'm not acting out of pity when I'm with him! I like it, I'm willing! I just want to be with him!"
Anger swept through his mind, and the resistance factor in his body reached the highest level of activity at this moment. He Jin couldn't calm down, nor did he want to calm down.
Father He was so angry that he couldn't speak, he raised his hand tremblingly, as if he wanted to hit him again, but Hou Dongyan stopped him again, and called "Uncle" several times.
Father He's face turned blue and then pale, took a step back, sat down on He Jin's bed, and muttered to himself with a pale face: "No, how could it be like this, why would it be the same..."
Hou Dongyan stood by the side and heard that now, but he has not been able to get in the conversation. He thought that Father He who was muttering was confused by anger, and hurriedly persuaded him: "Uncle, calm down first, He Jin is also impulsive before contradicting him." You, he is very good in school, his grades are also very good, and he was promoted to graduate school last semester. As for that, what the counselor said, I think it is actually good. Now the society is more open, and everyone accepts it. They are all quite tall... Besides, young people nowadays, who hasn't been in love a few times, He Jin was with a very beautiful girl from the student union when he was a freshman. It's over..." Hou Dongyan winked at He Jin as he spoke, expressing that he would appease his father first.
Unexpectedly, in the middle of speaking, He Jin's father suddenly patted Hou Dongyan's hand, and said in a low voice: "Xiao Hou, please go out for a while, I will have a few words with He Jin alone."
Hou Dongyan was startled... He told himself to go out, could it be that He Jin's father was going to be violent
He was worried about He Jin, so he stood there to ask for He Jin's opinion. He Jin nodded to indicate that there was nothing wrong, so Hou Dongyan went out, but when he opened the door, he saw the big head and seventh brother next door squatting at the door to eavesdrop, presumably they also heard the movement. Now, Hou Dongyan waved his paw embarrassingly to drive them away.
The big head was dumbfounded and said: "I'll go, is it true that Brother Jin and Qin Yang are together?"
Seventh Brother: "That's right, I thought it was a rumor!"
Hou Dongyan sighed, and said: "But I think they're just playing around. Brother Jin is so measured, he probably won't make fun of major events in his life."
Seventh brother looked at the big head: "I didn't expect Jin's tutor to be so strict. Did he hear that? Who the hell is that? When girls confessed to others when they were young, they went to insult others. They must be sick!"
Big head: "Well, actually my mother is similar, she takes care of everything, the difference is... no girl ever confessed to me when I was young."
Everyone: "..."
In the dormitory, the father and son were still in a stalemate, like a silent wrestling. He Jin was not afraid, he still clenched his fists, not knowing how many times he had the opportunity to be impulsive and rebellious in his life, and whether he would have the next time This kind of courage poured out the wishes buried deep in his heart so freely, not for Qin Yang, but for himself. Even if it is impossible to be with Qin Yang in the future, this is a necessary step for him to fight for freedom.
Finally, Father He compromised, but his compromise came with conditions: "He Jin, come back with me this weekend, apologize to your mother, make up, and then cut off contact with that boy. This incident never happened, and I didn’t tell your mother about it. Your mother doesn’t know about it. If she knows about it, she won’t be crazy. Hey... If you have any thoughts in the future, you can tell Dad, where is your mother? There's no guarantee she'll understand you, but Dad will try to take your opinion into consideration."
After hearing this passage, He Jin didn't calm down because of this. Instead, he said sharply like a hedgehog with a blown hair: "Why should I apologize to her? She is narrow-minded and authoritarian. She throws things and scolds people when she doesn't agree with her. She keeps saying it's for my own good." , In a blink of an eye, you threatened to cut off my living expenses. You said that I didn't make a phone call in the past six months. What about you, have you ever asked me about my life? I'm not asking you for money. Without her money, I can still rely on myself Ability to survive…”
The more He Jin said, the more he felt that the reason was on him. His father wanted him to cut off contact with Qin Yang. Now He Jin only thought it was ridiculous, why? Without them, he can live well by himself now, so why should he accommodate their ideas
When he was speaking in full swing, Father He suddenly raised his head and looked at He Jin. The despair and accusation in his bloodshot eyes were replaced by a complex and deep emotion that He Jin could not understand, "He Jin , Your mother is ill..." The man seemed to have endured for a long time, and said with difficulty and slowly, "It's severe depression, with suicidal tendencies."
The anger all over his body was blocked at once, and He Jin thought sullenly... What is severe depression? Are you mentally ill
Father He was silent for a moment, as if he had made up his mind, he said again, "Do you still remember that you have an older brother?"
He Jin was a little confused about the situation, why did his father suddenly mention his brother again
Father He: "When we were young, we told you that your brother died of illness, do you still have the memory?"
He Jin nodded, "Yes".
"Your brother He Lin," Father He choked up, raised his hand to wipe the corner of his eyes, and said, "He didn't die of illness, he committed suicide."
He Jin's face turned pale: "What?"
Father He: "He is very playful, much more mischievous than you, and he disobeyed since he was a child. Your mother and I are also spoiled by him. When he was in high school, he often secretly went to Internet cafes behind our backs. He met some good friends on the Internet... Later, he fell in love with one of the boys."
He Jin couldn't believe it: "My brother... is gay too?"
Father He lowered his eyes, did not answer this question, and continued: "We scolded him, but he didn't listen, and simply didn't go home for three days. You were only four and a half years old at the time, and it was time for someone to take care of you. I told you Mom had to go to work during the day, so she didn't have time to take care of him... Half a year later, he suddenly started to stay at home and stopped going out. We thought he had learned it well, so we didn't worry too much about it, but he didn't eat or sleep all day long, and quickly After losing weight, it didn’t take long before I left a suicide note and left, taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills.”
He Jin staggered, his eyes widened, and he asked incomprehensibly, "Why did you commit suicide?"
Father He: "He said in his suicide note that he had a relationship with that boy, and he found out that the boy had AIDS afterwards. He suspected that he also had that disease, so he dared not tell us. After suffering for a month, he was too afraid. It’s terrible, I really can’t hold on anymore…”
After hearing this past incident, He Jin was completely confused and at a loss.
Father He: "Since then, your mother has changed. She disciplined you severely. She doesn't want you to go online, especially doesn't like the friends you meet online, and even opposes your falling in love while you are studying... He Jin, are you I really don’t understand why I keep following your mother? Because I know how painful it was for her to encounter He Lin, and she doesn’t want to lose you because of the same thing, so I treat you like this, but I didn’t expect that you would be so annoying she."
He Jin was exhausted, like a defeated rooster, a deflated ball, and everything else seemed pale and empty.
Father He: "Before, I didn't know that your mother's behavior was a kind of disease, and I didn't pay attention to it. Until you ran away from home, she became more and more wrong. She talked crazy at home every day, and always wanted to die. Some time ago, I took her It was only after I went to see a doctor that I was diagnosed and said it was called depression, including her scolding you, smashing things, and sometimes acting neurotic, all because of depression.”
The rebellious factor in his body was completely condensed, and He Jin felt as if a big iron plate was hung around his neck, and every word his father said was like a real and powerful accusation engraved on that plate, overwhelming He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't lift his head.
He Jin asked anxiously, "How is she doing now?"
At this moment, I suddenly realized that in the face of life and death and disease, under the heavy responsibility of being a son, all personal emotions will become insignificant. That woman is his own mother. No matter how excessive she is, no matter how unreasonable, she is sick now. Her son has to forgive her.
Father He: "Even if you are hospitalized, this disease won't get better. The doctor prescribed some medicine. She is at home now. I ask your aunt to accompany me... I came to look for you in City A, but she didn't know."
He Jin slowly let go of his fist: "I'll go back with you, and I'll leave tonight."