After only saying these two sentences, He Jin couldn't continue.
Father He suddenly remembered the quarrel He Jin had with him in the Huada dormitory three years ago. He growled sullenly about his unwillingness, and asked them if they understood him, if they had asked him what he wanted, what he didn't want, what he liked what, what don't you like...
Father He didn't understand at the time, he just felt that He Jin was ignorant, so he told him the truth about the past on impulse.
He Jin calmed down, discouraged, and went home. He no longer rebelled, no longer resisted, and obediently severed ties with that boy.
He behaves like an adult now, mature and sensible, works hard, and obediently goes on blind dates... Everything looks good, Father He thought, he should feel relieved that he got his wish, but he didn't. What he said during the quarrel resurfaced in his mind repeatedly. Compared with his observation of He Jin in the past few years, Father He always felt that something was wrong.
Yes, his child seems to have lost the ability to be happy. It is not the "unhappiness" deliberately expressed on the face, but the pain that is suppressed deep in the heart and can only be inadvertently in places where no one sees leaked a little bit.
He's father didn't forget that He Jin clenched his fists, shook his shoulders, and yelled at him angrily - I don't want to become a person I hate myself in the future!
Recalling that scene, the nearly seventy-year-old man trembled all over. He tremblingly stubbed out the cigarette butt, and asked softly, "He Jin, do you like the way you are now?"
He Jin's heart, which had been silent for a long time, beat heavily because of these words, but soon became depressed again. His father didn't know how much effort he had used to stand here so calmly.
He thought, does it matter if I like it or not? The important thing is that you like me like this.
"That's it, I have no choice." He Jin said calmly.
Thinking in another way, if he was born with a mental retardation and a disability, would his parents abandon him? No, they will raise him well, so no matter how many grievances and regrets he has, he will not abandon his sick mother.
The grace of nurturing and the responsibility of feeding back, this is what he should bear as a man, as a son of man, even if the price is to give up his own happiness and happiness.
He's father sighed for a long time, and he suddenly realized that He Lin's tragedy and the impact on this family should not have been borne by He Jin...
Seeing the old man frowning deeply, He Jin comforted him in turn: "Dad, you don't think I have resentment towards you, do you? Don't think about it, I'm fine, and Mom's illness is also much better. Also pay attention, smoke less, you and mom are in good health, that is what makes me most at ease."
Father He nodded weakly, He Jin turned around and went back after persuading him, watched TV with his mother for a while, and went back to the room to sleep on time at ten o'clock.
Two days later, Qin Yang came to Q City. The fan meeting was arranged from 2:00 to 5:00 in the afternoon at the Cultural Palace. The local TV newspapers and online media had already started to report.
In the past three years, every time he heard Qin Yang's name from the people around him, or accidentally saw the other party's image on the mobile advertisement, He Jin's heart was greatly touched, so he never dared to look at Qin Yang and Qin Yang. Yang related news.
It was Saturday, and He Jin didn't have to go to work. He was also arranged to go on a blind date with the niece of his father's former colleague's eldest cousin at noon. He left the house around eleven o'clock in the morning.
Q City is very small, the busiest part of the city center is only a few roads away from east to west, north to south, and the restaurant He Jin ordered is in Shengyi Square, a kilometer away from the Cultural Palace. It is a Cantonese restaurant with a good reputation.
When he arrived at the restaurant at 11:45, there were still 15 minutes before meeting the woman. He glanced at the woman's information received in his bracelet—Duan Shurong, 27 years old, a staff member of the editorial department of Q City TV Station, Communication University of S Province Graduated from the Chinese Department, talked to a boyfriend, hobbies...
There was no need to look at it later, He Jin directly sent a text message to the other party, telling the table number, and then ordered a cup of espresso, calmed down, and began to prepare his speech.
On a normal blind date, it is normal for the woman to be a little late. He Jin thought he would have to wait at least half an hour, but unexpectedly the other party arrived before twelve o'clock!
"Excuse me, are you... He Jin, Mr. He?"
A simple plaid shirt, a plain gray cotton sweater, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses... Duan Shurong tried hard to connect this person with the boy in white in his memory.
He Jin raised his head suddenly, and his eyes lit up: big eyes, pointed chin, long straight hair, simple and exquisite OL knee-length skirt suit, she is a beauty.
"Ms. Duan, hello." He quickly reached out to shake her hand, then calmly pointed to the seat in front of him, "Sit down."
Duan Shurong didn't take her eyes off He Jin's face. After she sat down, she asked uncertainly, "He Jin, don't you remember me?"
He Jin was taken aback for a moment, then looked up at the other person's facial features again, he shook his head and said apologetically, "Where have we met?"
"We," Duan Shurong drew a line between the two of them with his finger: "The junior high school is the same school."
He Jin slowly opened his eyes wide, as if he remembered something, but it was very vague...
Duan Shurong smiled wryly, and said again: "When there are activities in school, we often work together as hosts. I liked you in junior high school and even wrote you a love letter, but you gave it to your mother, and your mother called my house. You insulted me, remember?"
"Ah!" He Jin exclaimed, "It's you!"
He instantly became shy and embarrassed, looking at the other party helplessly. The incident of that year was also an embarrassing shadow for him. He didn't dare to think about it, so he slowly forgot: "I'm sorry, I... I didn't expect .”
"Didn't expect me to come on a blind date with you?" Duan Shurong asked back.
"Well..." Yes, because after that, he was completely hated. If Duan Shurong still remembered him, it would be absolutely impossible for him to come to see him. Therefore, even though the name is a bit familiar, He Jin still didn't think of this person as the next door to the junior high school. The girls in the class bonded together.
Duan Shurong hugged her chest and smiled: "I didn't want to come at first, but after so many years, I'm really curious about how you have become, so this time it's not so much a blind date, it's actually more like meeting an old classmate."
He Jin lowered his eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, handed over the menu, and said, "Let's order first."
Duan Shurong glanced at him with a smile, flipped through the menu and said, "You really haven't changed much."
He Jin pushed his glasses: "No way, it's been more than ten years."
"I'm talking about facial features, facial features, and temperament." Duan Shurong ordered a few dishes and ordered a drink. He Jin called the waiter and placed the order. Duan Shurong saw the coffee in front of He Jin again and said, "Coffee before dinner? It's not good for the stomach."
He Jin smiled lightly. He was used to ordering a cup of coffee before going on a blind date with a girl, just to keep his head clear.
The two chatted with each other about what happened in the past few years, what university they were admitted to after graduating from high school, and what kind of work they did in the past few years. "Duan Shurong, I'm sorry."
Duan Shurong: "...huh?"
"I didn't give the letter to my mother back then, but my mother dug it out by herself. She has the habit of checking my schoolbag. I put the letter in the book cover of the Chinese book, but she still found it. Maybe It was because I was too nervous at the time and showed my flaws." He Jin smiled, "I really didn't expect her to do those things later, but fortunately meeting you today will give me a chance to express my late apology to you .”
Duan Shurong was stunned when he heard that, but he was also touched by He Jin's apology. Gu Zuo said to him, "Who is your mother! No wonder you haven't found a partner since you came back for three years!"
He Jin: "..."
Duan Shurong coughed lightly, and said: "To be honest, I came here this time with a sense of mischief. In fact, I really want to see it. If your mother knows, she will do everything possible to ask someone to find it for her son. The person on the blind date was called by her back then and scolded 'a vixen, you seduce people at a young age, shameless', how would she react, ha ha... But now I don't want to watch it, as long as she is a normal girl, who would want to You want your mother to be such a difficult mother-in-law."
When He Jin heard this, not only was he not angry, he even burst out laughing. Although Duan Shurong's words were a little impolite, it was also true. He nodded, "You're right." She is probably the only one in this world The son can bear her.
Duan Shurong was stunned. She took a drink from the cup and looked at He Jin with her big beautiful eyes. It was hard to imagine that such a woman could raise such a gentle, quiet, handsome and refined son.
In fact, she didn't say another reason - the reason why she came to see He Jin was because she still had the ambiguous feelings for him that she had when she was a girl.
He Jin ordered the dishes on the table with chopsticks: "Eat quickly, don't let the dishes get cold, it seems that today's meal is a feast of apology for me instead of my mother."
Duan Shurong snorted softly: "Even if it's a blind date, you should invite it."
He Jin seemed to be putting up with a bad-tempered girlfriend, and said with a smile: "Sure, thank you for giving me face, eat more."
After taking two mouthfuls of food, Duan Shurong couldn't help but said, "Hey, actually, I've inquired about it. The aunt who introduced you to me said that you seem to have been rejected by blind dates all these years..." She lowered her voice, "Look Q City is not big, there are only a few single people who come and go, and the conditions are not bad, how did you manage to be rejected by so many people? It’s not all because of your mother’s difficulty, right? Let me be careful, inquire, and ask if you have any hidden diseases!"
He Jin raised his hand to cover his mouth, and raised one eyebrow: "You really want to know?"
Duan Shurong put down the chopsticks, as if she was mentally prepared: "Let's talk."
He Jin swallowed the food, took a sip of coffee slowly, and said: "Before I tell each blind date about this matter, I tell them that what I want to say is true, and it is not an excuse to perfuse them. Please keep it a secret for me, because my parents don't know about it, especially my mother, I don't want her to know, so I hope you too... "
"Enen, I will also keep it a secret for you!" Duan Shurong interrupted him, she is impatient and can't wait to know the truth.
He Jin looked at her and said seriously: "I have been with a man before."
Duan Shurong's expression froze, and her complexion became a little weird. She asked in a low voice, "Are you gay?"
"I don't know, because I only liked him as a man, but this should be considered a kind of homosexuality. To be honest, I don't know if I can accept women. I want to try to find a girlfriend, but until now So far, the girls who have heard the truth have all rejected me directly," He Jin smiled, "However, they all kept their promises and did not spread my secret everywhere."
Duan Shurong: "You know, it has nothing to do with promises. I know women. We all like to gossip. The reason why everyone didn't say it is you..."
He Jin: "Me?"
Duan Shurong said with emotion: "I feel very sincere when you said what you said just now."
She didn't know how to describe it, but felt that He Jin was particularly vulnerable and painful at that moment... Women are always easily moved by such a man.
"Hey, He Jin," Duan Shurong said courageously, "Actually, I don't really care about your past, do you want to try with me?"
A trace of gratitude appeared in He Jin's eyes: "Duan Shurong, there are also a small number of girls who are still willing to try with me after hearing the truth. They probably want to help me... But," he raised his eyes and looked directly at the other party, "If I said, I haven't let him go yet?"
No woman can tolerate her dating partner still thinking about her ex, let alone, this ex is still a man.
Seeing that the other party was silent, He Jin sighed, looked down at the bottomed out coffee cup, and struggled: "Duan Shurong, thank you, but I can't do anything wrong to you."
It has been three years, and the self-curse written in the breakup letter to Qin Yang back then has come true.
He has no way to start over with any woman. He tried and worked hard. When he was dating his first blind date, he suffered from insomnia almost every night, countless caffeine, sleeping pills, and even went to see a psychiatrist for half a year. , and then slowly supported this relatively normal skin...
He can deceive everyone, but he can't deceive himself—he can't forget Qin Yang, and he can't get out again.