Duan Shurong replied: "I'm not free today, I have an appointment with my girlfriends, but I remember that your unit seems to be quite close to the TV station, I get off work at 5:30 on weekdays, so remember to tell me a day in advance if you want to invite me to dinner! "
He Jin smiled wryly, even if Duan Shurong was free today, his physical condition would not allow him to keep the appointment, maybe he would have to ask for leave tomorrow.
"Okay, then I'll contact you again." As soon as the text messages came and went, the taxi had already arrived downstairs at He Jin's house.
He Jin got out of the car after paying the bill, and staggered upstairs. Before entering the house, he adjusted his breathing, trying to face his family as normal as possible, so as not to let them see the clues. But his face was pale and bloodless, his eyes were red and swollen, and his lips were bitten. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, parents could still see it right away.
"He Jin! You're back!" Seeing He Jin's distraught look, He's mother eagerly greeted him.
He Jin did not escape, but observed her with guilty and worried eyes, then stretched out his hand, hugged the impatient old man in his arms, and said softly: "Mom, don't get excited, I'm back, I'm fine."
Mother He's eyes turned red all of a sudden. At this time, her son was still nervous about herself, but she only hoped that he would be fine: "Are you worried about Mom getting sick again? You see, Mom and Dad are fine now... Fool, tell Mom To be honest, why do you think that way? You have such a stable job now, and we have already bought you a house for your wedding. Those women are unlucky if they don't like you, and they don't know how good you are!"
"Am I okay..." He Jin was a little at a loss, he felt that he was not okay at all.
Mother He patted He Jin's back with her backhand, as if he had turned into a five or six-year-old child, a child who hadn't grown up yet, needed protection and comfort, and could only rely on herself: "Of course, you I didn't see your aunt, your aunt and the neighbors envious of us, envious of Lao He having such a filial son!"
He Jin didn't know whether he should cry or laugh. The self he tried to deny was the best in the eyes of others.
"Okay, okay, how old are you, why can't you bear this blow, mom has to criticize you again."
Seeing that the other party was about to blurt out the preaching words, He Jin said weakly: "Mom, I'm very tired, I want to go back to my room and sleep for a while, okay?"
Mother He said a few words about He Jin's drinking, let him go and let him go to rest first, but what she was going to press was interrupted by He Jin's warm hug.
In fact, while waiting for He Jin to come home for half an hour, Mother He thought a lot.
After more than half a year of formal psychotherapy, she also realized the psychological harm she had caused to her family and son, and now her condition has improved a lot. Knowing that I am sick, I dare not get too excited, because the feeling of being oppressed by the "big rock" in my mind during the disease is completely different from the feeling of being clear-headed under normal circumstances.
Mother He remembered the few words He Jin said on the phone, her tone was so low, and she was so hopeless, she suddenly felt an unprecedented sense of panic, which was completely different from the panic she felt when she was ill. She was afraid that He Jin would get out of her control and leave her like He Lin, but this time it was different, she felt that He Jin was asking for help, like a child who was driven to a desperate situation, and could only ask her mother for help .
He Jin has been very strong since he was a child. Although he is docile on the outside, he has a high wall in his heart. Only under those few times of beatings and pressure can he bow his head to others.
Therefore, since He Jin became sensible, Mother He never encountered a situation where He Jin asked her for help. This made her feel at ease, and her status and sense of existence as a mother were well reflected, but she was also extremely panicked. Because she doesn't know what's wrong with her son, and how she can help...
When He Jin entered the room, Mother He thought about it for a while, and then pulled Father He uneasily and asked, "Hey old He, don't you feel that something is wrong with our son? He is living a good life. Why is he suddenly like this? Say what happened to him?"
Father He was watching from the sidelines from the beginning to the end just now, but now he couldn't bear it anymore, sat down and asked, "Did you just find out?"
Mother He: "What do you mean?"
Father He: "I've noticed it a long time ago. He Jin is actually not happy, but he doesn't show it usually. Maybe he is worried about irritating you."
Mother He said angrily: "Are you blaming me now? Do you think I am willing to suffer from this kind of disease? Then if I die, you and your son will be freed
Father He said helplessly: "Look, you're here again, you're always going to die or live, we'll feel better when we hear this kind of words? Have you taken any medicine?"
Mother He: "..."
He's father lowered his voice and said, "My wife, my son reminded me ten thousand times, because I am afraid that I will treat you as an abnormal mental illness. You said, I have been with you for more than ten years, and we have never experienced any hardships. Is it the kind of person who will despise you because you are sick? Let's talk calmly, for the sake of our son, okay?"
Mother He compromised slightly: "What are you talking about?"
Father He: "Talk about something we didn't dare to face before... the matter of He Lin."
Mother He's complexion changed, and she whispered: "Everyone is gone, what is there to talk about."
He's father held He's mother's hand, and said persuasively, "Biqin, the atmosphere of our family has changed since the year He Lin left. The doctor also said that it was that incident that cast a shadow in your heart." , Since then, you have been very strict with He Jin, and then it has become more and more serious, and you will not allow him to have a behavior that is out of your control."
Mother He said with a straight face: "This is not very good. Dutiful sons are born under the stick. It is because of this that He Jin is more obedient and better than his brother."
Father He glanced at the door of He Jin's room, and said, "You really think so? But now that something is wrong with your son, don't you also see it?"
Mother He said with a guilty conscience: "What can be the matter? You are young, just enlighten me."
Father He sighed, and said: "That's how the problem came about. Your temperament changed a lot back then, and I thought it would get better after a while. I didn't pay attention to your emotional changes at all, and I didn't have any common sense about depression. Only then will your condition develop into what it was later on."
Mother He was surprised: "What does this have to do with He Jin?"
Father He hesitated for a moment, looked at Mother He and asked, "Have you ever thought about what kind of environment He Jin would live in without He Lin? Would he have the same ending as his brother?"
Mother He froze for a moment. He Jin and He Lin had different personalities. He Lin was more like her when he was young, with a straightforward, fierce and impulsive personality.
Father He said melancholy: "In the past year, I have thought a lot, and I always feel that He Lin's tragedy is just an isolated case... The negative impact that He Lin has brought to our family after he left should not be borne by He Jin. He's under too much pressure."
Mother He: "..."
Father He stroked Mother He's hand, and said in a low voice: "When I accompanied you to see a doctor that day, Doctor Zhang told me to pay more attention to myself and He Jin's psychological changes. It is said that in the families of patients with depression, Interactions leading to disease are common."
Mother He was silent, and her shoulders trembled uncontrollably. After a long time, she hurriedly said: "Do you know what He Jin said to me on the phone just now? He said he failed, and what else did he say? Was it a hit?" Destined to be unworthy of happiness... Now that I heard you say it, I realize that maybe you are right, do you think he also has this symptom?"
Father He frowned slightly, and said in a deep thought: "I'm just worried about this. He Jin usually doesn't show it, and he hides it well, but in the end, he's only a kid in his twenties, and he might not be able to hold on. When we go down, what if one day he is overwhelmed by this pressure and suffers from depression, what should we do? Can we still bear the blow of losing another son?"
Mother He held Father He's hand nervously: "How is that possible!"
Father He asked: "Why is it impossible? You have experienced it yourself. The pessimistic attitude that you feel that life is meaningless when you get sick can't be reversed for a while. You know how much effort He Jin and I spent in the first two years. You pulled out of that abyss? You are much better now, and thinking about your mentality at that time, do you think you can understand it?"
Mother He: "But, but I'm much better now, what pressure do we put on him? Blind date? Marriage? There's no need to rush this. He Jin is a boy, and it's okay to get married two years later."
"Biqin," Father He interrupted her suddenly, struggling, "I want to tell you something, it's a secret, but you have to keep calm first, and don't anger your child after you know it, let alone get excited."
Mother He panicked and said, "What's the matter, what are you hiding from me!"
Father He patted her hand and said, "My son told me that once I want to tell you something that might irritate you, I have to let you know before that that we love you, and no matter what happens, we will love you." I won't abandon you, leave you."
Mother He felt sore for a while, and her turbulent mood calmed down because of this sentence. In the past few years, she has been listening to her son and husband saying this sentence to herself before she gradually gets better.
Father He watched her gradually recovering his calm eyes, and said solemnly: "He Jin, it is very likely that he is also gay."
Mother He's lips parted slightly, and there was a storm in her heart, she was shocked and speechless: "What... what did you say?"
He's father sighed, and told He's mother exactly what he learned when he went to Huada to look for He Jin three years ago, and also told her about He Jin's behavior after that, and finally explained: "I didn't mean to hide it. Looking at you, you were so sick at that time, let me tell you, you must not be able to calm down."