He Jin's brain was dizzy from being bombarded by Fire's words, and what he expected to happen finally came...
In fact, since the baby was born in the game, He Jin has clearly felt that the relationship between the two has changed, extending from the Internet to reality, from online love and sweetness to saying that they miss each other offline, to every night after returning home The companionship, the little care after encountering difficulties, and even the act of spending a lot of money... Yes, they are too much, but He Jin also enjoys it very much. He likes Fire, just because he has not dared to develop such So I pretended not to see these changes, and only selfishly grasped the phantom of the other party to absorb the warmth for a moment.
But He Jin knew that sooner or later, this feeling of being let go would break the bank and get out of control, but he didn't expect that it would come so soon.
"Did I embarrass you?" Fire couldn't help asking when He Jin didn't respond for a long time.
He Jin looked at him, unable to remain calm and self-possessed like he was at the beginning: "We, didn't we agree... The game is the game..." He said with difficulty, the last five words were almost squeezed out of his throat, because against his will, He also wants to develop a real relationship with Fire, wants to know this person, and doesn't want to be influenced by another person with the same voice as him...
"I'm sorry, realistically, I can't do it." But what I really said was so rational and decisive.
"Why?" Fire frowned, his face couldn't hide his loneliness and disappointment, but his tone was a little excited, "Because you're straight? Heterosexual?"
He Jin didn't answer Fire's question, but asked in an almost pleading tone: "Just in the game... can't it?"
Fire said gloomyly, "What if I say I can't do it?"
He Jin was startled, his eyes widened in surprise.
Fire: "Hua University, right? How many boys named He Jin are there in your school? I remember that you are a year older than me, a junior? It should be easy to find, if I really want to go find you, what will you do?" What can you do to me..."
"Don't!" He Jin interrupted him in panic, "If you do this, I will ignore you again, and I won't play games anymore!"
Fire was breathing heavily, his face turned pale with anger, he didn't expect that He Jin would really threaten himself with "not playing games", he smiled wryly in his heart—then you must know that I am Qin Yang, am I planning to ignore him forever? Me
He Jin also seemed to realize that what he said just now was a bit hurtful, and immediately explained: "Shanghuo, listen to me, in fact, from the very beginning when you said you liked me, I was very puzzled, what exactly do you like about me? You said you waited for me Eight years, I feel flattered and guilty, so I want to make up for you in the game and play with you... But even eight years ago, we didn't have much contact, I sometimes think , your liking for me may be just a stubborn obsession. In fact, you don't understand me that much, and I don't understand you very well. In reality, I am just a very ordinary person, and maybe you are too, but the Internet makes us good at Add your own fantasy to virtual characters… ”
Fire laughed as he listened to He Jin's strenuous explanation, and asked back: "So you think that the 'Ah Jin' I like is not you, but the one I imagined?"
He Jin nodded slightly, this was one of the reasons why he rejected Fire, and also the most important reason, Fire's feelings for him were too unreal, so unreal that He Jin was afraid to be honest with each other.
Qin Yang smiled wryly. If He Jin said this before he had met him, it might make him unable to argue. He admitted that waiting for the past eight years had made his feelings for this person an obsession, but , He has met He Jin in reality, and although he doesn't know the whole thing, it's not like he doesn't understand him at all.
Besides, even if this is an obsession, so what? No matter whether he likes it or is obsessed with it, he wants to be with He Jin, and he is the only one in this life!
Fire: "If you think I don't know you well enough, we can get to know each other better."
He Jin shook his head, summoned up his courage and said, "No, Fire, this kind of fantasy is very good. I also have this kind of fantasy about you now, and I don't want to break it."
Fire: "..."
In the final analysis, He Jin still couldn't ignore the inferiority complex that originated deep in his heart. Although he had realized his own sexual orientation, in the previous twenty years, He Jin's view of love was still between normal men and women. As a boy, being viewed from the perspective of a "lover" by a homosexual, no matter how good-looking he is, no matter how outstanding he is, he will be timid... He is afraid that his real self will disappoint Shanghuo, and he is also afraid that Shanghuo will disappoint himself.
He Jin refused very simply, and Qin Yang felt as if he was stuck inside a wall, unable to move forward or back, and felt panicked.
The last time I used the reason of "not being gay" to push myself away, this time I changed to something else, He Jin always had his reasons, but Qin Yang was not reconciled: "Do you remember when we chatted before the Chinese New Year, you said I don't want to be gay?" If you dislike your gender, you won't dislike what I look like... Is this sentence from the heart?"
Since you don't dislike it, why do you still talk about it so much
"Yes..." He Jin lowered his eyes and said resolutely: "But if it's just a game, as long as you can play it well, no one cares whether the playmate on the computer is a dog, but if it's a reality, it must be a lie to say that you don't care."
Let's just play games, He Jin thought selfishly, instead of risking disappointing each other, it's better to let this beautiful relationship stay in the virtual game world, at least in the game, they don't have to be responsible to anyone.
…
Fire had nothing to say, nodded his head and said in a cold voice: "Okay, I won't force you anymore, just pretend I didn't say that sentence before."
Seeing the other party's pale and disheveled look, He Jin felt aching for no reason.
After a stalemate for a long time, he said: "Shanghuo... You see, we are connected in reality, we can already be regarded as friends..."
Fire did not respond, He Jin lowered his head, and said again: "Now we often say good night to each other, I never thought we would be like this before..."
There was still no sound from the other side, and He Jin didn't dare to raise his head: "You startled me a bit by saying the truth all of a sudden."
He blushed, clenched his fists, and said in a trembling voice: "Can we... can we take our time?"
... This can be regarded as giving hope to Fire, right
It is really difficult to develop the reality now. I have nothing, and I have broken with my family. I have to study and work at the same time. The future is uncertain. If I add another pressure of homosexuality to him, He Jin feels that he will collapse. …
Surrounded by silence, He Jin raised his head hesitantly, only to see that the figure on the opposite side was already in the "standby offline state".
He Jin: "..."
It turns out that "being" offline and running away is such a feeling of powerlessness and loneliness...
When Fire was attacked in the air and suddenly went offline, the others probably didn't want to play any more. Li Luo sent a message to ask He Jin where he was and if he wanted to PK. After sending a message to He Jin to confirm the status of Fire, they all went offline to sleep.
He Jin guarded the disappearance of "Shanghuo"'s body, and stood in a daze for a long time at the resurrection point, but did not see the other party's name lit up again. Tangyuan appeared beside him at some point, flying quietly behind him, Maybe he was there when he was chatting with Fire, but like a well-behaved pet of the system, he never disturbed him.
He Jin beckoned Tang Yuan to fly close, and hugging him, Tang Yuan made a soft "cheep" sound and flapped her wings twice.
"Little fool..." He Jin touched its wings, the fluffy touch, "Is dad a coward?"
Tangyuan tilted her head, and said "cheep" again, as if to say, "Yes."
He Jin smiled, but his smile was uglier than crying...
After midnight, the game flashed an announcement to remind everyone that today is February 14th, Valentine's Day.
He Jin flew to the game mall with glutinous rice balls and picked 9 roses.
He couldn't afford 999 flowers, but 9, like 999, both represent "long-term", expressing his heart.
He Jin chose the express delivery service of the flower shop, and the gift object was "Fire", which will be given out when the player goes online next time.
Fire, I'm sorry... He Jin apologized again in his heart.
After logging out, He Jin eagerly went to check the bracelet, but there were no unread messages on it, and Fire didn't send him anything, not even a "good night".
He hesitated to say "Happy Valentine's Day" to Fire, but he who hurt and rejected him like this is not qualified to say such words... Fire is not happy, and neither is he.