3
After going to the toilet, we simply took a shower, Mr. Wumin taught me his usual tone and posture, I roughly learned it, let him hide behind, and asked the maid to go to the bathroom to prepare water.
The so-called bath room is a place to take a bath. You need to prepare hot water and petals first. Although it seems a bit luxurious to me, Mr. Wumin doesn't seem to find it strange at all, and I'm very used to it after thinking about it.
The maids around Mr. Wumin are all very qualified. Seeing blood on my face and disheveled clothes, they didn't dare to look at me at all. It's probably because Mr. Wumin has always been perverted.
When everything was ready, I discovered a very serious problem - how to take a shower
Should we help each other wash it...
I dismissed all the maids and asked Lord Wumin to come out, he asked doubtfully, "What's wrong?"
I wonder: "How do we...how to take a shower?"
"Oh... you mean..." He lowered his head and looked at "my" body, "don't worry, I won't do anything bad to your body—seriously, Princess Changyi, you How old is it? Why do I feel that there is no difference between you and my upper body... "
I gritted my teeth: "Color embryo!"
After thinking about it, I also lowered my head to look at his body, and then said: "Mr. Wumin, actually, I also think that there is no difference between our lower body..."
Lord Wumin smiled instead of anger: "The difference, you have a chance to know."
"..."
Playing hooligans also requires certain eloquence and skills. Obviously I can't beat him...
I said: "Then, how dare you touch so many private places? I don't want to touch yours. If you touch mine, I won't be innocent in the future..."
Lord Wumin frowned and said, "You are going to marry me in the future, why do you want to be innocent?"
"..."
"Otherwise," Lord Wumin said, "you wash it for me, and I wash it for you."
"...you are too shameless!"
"What's wrong with me!"
"Isn't that me touching you and you touching me?"
"...you woman is too annoying, why are there so many things!"
Lord Wumin pressed against my face, and when he got angry like this, his face was still slightly puffed up. He actually pretended to be cute against my face, it really made me want to slap him but couldn't do it.
I patiently said: "No matter what, I just don't want to..."
Mr. Wumin sighed: "In this case, you can ask the maid to come in to help. But in this case, you have to make up an identity for me first, um, let's say it's the maid I randomly met yesterday."
I looked at him with disgust: "It's so natural, it seems that you have done a lot."
Lord Wumin gave me a cheap smile and didn't speak.
Now that it's decided, I will let Mr. Wumin take off his clothes and go into the pool first, and tell him to close his eyes. Mr. Wumin followed suit and said, "I've said that there is no difference between our upper bodies. I think your body is not as good as looking in the mirror after recovering." .”
"..."
I kind of want to put his head in the water and fuck off...
Then I also took off my clothes and let the maid come in. During this process, I almost closed my eyes, and even if I didn't close them, I was determined not to look down.
After the maids came in, they seemed a little surprised when they saw Lord Wumin, but they still dared not speak due to his long-term lust, so I lightly ordered: "Help her and me wash our bodies."
Mr. Wumin and I occupy the southeast and northwest corners of the huge bathing pool, and we both have our backs to each other. This may be a bit weird, and it made the expressions of the maids very funny, but they still lowered their heads to help me wash my body .
I'm not used to being served by others, I find it very strange, and I'm worried that I'll be peeking at my body with my eyes open. Although I really don't have anything to look at, I'm still a little worried...
Who knew a bigger problem was coming.
The ladies in the court helped me wipe my body with a towel, and even washed that part very skillfully. Although I felt very uncomfortable, but seeing them so naturally, I knew that Lord Wumin must have been served like this before. So I accepted it helplessly, but not long after, the place that only belonged to men gradually responded...
I was originally in the bath, surrounded by mist and aroma, I was a little dizzy, after feeling the reaction there, I only felt the blood all over my body rushing to my face. I yelled, picked up a piece of white cloth next to it, and hit it there—a lesson from heaven and earth, this was my subconscious action. …
Who knew, that place is so fragile...
After I beat it, I knew that I was the one who was suffering. The severe pain spread, and I couldn't even cry out, so I could only curl up in pain. What's worse, the "experienced" Lord Wumin rushed over immediately, and he shouted in my female voice, "Yun Jiao, what did you do?!"
Just shout, he also grabbed my arm, forced me to straighten up, and lowered my head to check the injury...
I can still feel that he actually touched it carefully with his hand...
my hand...
I wanted to kick him away, but on the one hand, I had no strength because of the pain, and on the other hand, it was my own body, so I couldn't get down.
The maids next to me were so scared that their faces turned pale. It's hard for me to say angrily, "You all get out..."
Several maids ran out in a hurry.
After finally slowing down a bit, I saw Mr. Wumin facing me with his arms akimbo: "You crazy woman, you are too ruthless! You hate me so much, you want me to die...!"
I want to cry without tears: "You put on your clothes first..."
Lord Wumin was stunned, and subconsciously lowered his head to see, I didn't care so much, and slapped him: "Seqian, don't bow your head!"
Then I saw my own face slowly swell up a small piece...
Lord Wumin took a painful breath, but finally he did not bow his head. He gritted his teeth and said, "You woman, you are so crazy. Whether you are treating yourself or the enemy, you are so merciless..."
I didn't realize that my heart ached until I finished the beating. Thinking that it was my own face, I couldn't help but hurt God and said, "How dare you say that your eyes are aiming randomly..."
The two of us took a shower for the first time, and it can only be described as "both hurt"... He hurts above, and I hurt below...
***
This kind of "lose-lose" is called by later generations, it hurts.
4
Afterwards, I called the trembling maids to help get dressed, and I also followed Lord Wumin's order, and threatened a few maids in an extremely cold tone: "What happened just now?"
The feet of the ladies in the court went limp: "Nothing happened..."
I nodded in satisfaction: "Go on. Ah, go to Princess Yangping and ask her for a dress. The more gorgeous the better, the looser one. And some jewelry and rouge."
Of course, this is also what Mr. Wumin taught me. He said that people depend on clothes, and now there is no way to make a good-looking set of clothes and jewelry in a short time, so I can only use borrowed ones.
I was a little puzzled: "I remember you have several sisters, why did you go to Princess Yangping?"
Monarch Wumin said: "Yangping is relatively simple and doesn't know how to ask questions."
"Then why relax?"
"She has a good figure, if it's too tight, your body won't be able to hold it up." Mr. Wumin had a teasing smile in his eyes.
To be honest, I admire Mr. Wumin very much. No matter how big things happen at the beginning, he seems to be fine the next moment. Although I don't know if he really doesn't care, but... as far as the expression on his face is concerned, it's really puzzling.
I nodded: "Big breasts and no brains, it's been a law since ancient times."
Lord Wumin laughed loudly: "Your words are sour."
I glared at him.
Lord Wumin lazily said: "It's better to have a big chest and no brains than a small chest and no brains..."
I stare at him again.
Lord Wumin said innocently: "I'm not talking about you."
I didn't bother to talk to him, I just sat there and waited for the maid to bring Princess Pingyang's clothes. Mr. Wumin was only wearing his original white men's single clothes, and it was already cold, so he probably felt a little cold sitting there. After thinking about it, he retracted into the quilt again.
Anyway, he was taking care of my body, and I had no objection. The two of them sat silently for a while, and Lord Wumin said, "By the way, I will teach you what to do when you visit Emperor Father. First, , when approaching the dragon bed of the father's palace, you have to slow down your steps, shake your body, cry if you can, then kneel in front of the father's bed, and say, "my father is suffering from illness like this, and I wish I could die with my body." Instead!'—remember, it should have a crying voice, it should be Chen Ken, it should make the listener sad, and they will cry when they smell it... "
I interrupted him: "... so hypocritical."
Lord Wumin shrugged his shoulders indifferently: "That's because your father died too quickly. If he has been hanging half dead like this, you have to do the same."
I shook my head: "After my father died, I didn't even shed tears. I have no feelings for him, and he doesn't need me to put on a show."
Mr. Wumin nodded: "That's the difference. You don't have feelings for my father, but he needs my hypocrisy, and I need it myself. My uncle and I are comparing who weeps more."
I hesitated: "But I won't cry out loud."
Mr. Wumin thought for a while, and took out a cloth bag from under the pillow, which contained a few needles: "If you really can't do it, just poke yourself."
"..."
I took the needle slowly: "I'll poke you till you die, okay?"
"..."
Who knows, before Princess Pingyang's clothes and jewelry came, she heard an outsider calling Princess Sheng'an, Lord Wumin's expression darkened, and he explained: "She is the daughter of my uncle King Xiuyi. She has always liked me..."
When I heard it, it was worth it...
I thought she was going to wait outside for a while, but who knew that the princess was very unruly, rushing in all the way, and broke in before the notification was made. With a loud noise, I quickly inserted the needle back under the pillow, and at the same time the door was knocked open.
So, the Princess probably saw how close I was to Mr. Wumin...
She screamed, ran over with exaggerated strides, and grabbed me: "Brother Qing, how could you let this woman lie on your bed?!"
Brother? Uh, aren't they watches...
Or did she call him love brother? Ugh, that's horrible...
Lord Wumin glared at me, but he didn't dare to attack, he quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be weak.
And that Princess Sheng'an still tugged on my sleeve and yelled, "Brother Qing, what's going on!"
I said, "Sheng'an, let go of my sleeve first..."
Princess Sheng'an shouted in dissatisfaction: "Brother Qing, you used to call me You'er, why are you calling me Sheng'an now?!"
How do I know, Mr. Wumin didn't have time to tell me!
I was almost sweating: "Uh, let me go first..."
"I won't!" Princess Sheng'an was really rebellious, and she gave me a hard look, then pulled my sleeve and turned to stare at Lord Wumin, just as Lord Wumin secretly opened his eyes to take a peek. After seeing her murderous eyes, I was so scared that I closed my eyes again... I really want to slap him, his role changes so quickly...
"What are you, that you are so rude when you see me?" Princess Sheng'an said condescendingly, "Don't think that Brother Qing spoiled you for one night and you are great, tell you, you are nothing!"
Lord Wumin remained silent.
I don't make a sound either.
After Princess Sheng'an finished speaking, there was no one to answer. She probably felt very embarrassed, and shouted again: "Hey, what's the matter with you? I asked you to salute! Are you still lying on Brother Qing's bed?!"
After all, it was actually about to hit him with a palm.
that's my face!
I quickly grabbed her hand: "You'er, if you have something to say..."
"What are you, didn't you just call me Sheng'an?!" Princess Sheng'an turned around and lost his temper at me.
"Uh, Sheng'an," I yelled kindly, "Speak up if you have something to say..."
Lord Wumin burst out laughing suddenly, I looked at him inexplicably, wondering how his mental quality is so good, the next moment Princess Sheng'an pushed me hard: "Feng Qingyan, you are too much Already!"
Feng is the surname of the Xiyang Kingdom. It turned out that Lord Wumin was called Feng Qingyan. No wonder Princess Sheng'an always called him Brother Qing...
I looked at this moody Princess Sheng'an in puzzlement, wondering what I had done too much.
Lord Wumin had already suppressed his laughter, but his body was still shaking, obviously he had endured a lot of hard work, Princess Sheng'an was even more annoyed when he saw him like this, and went forward to try to push him.
Before I could stop her, Princess Sheng'an stepped on a piece of ground. The place was originally the blood of Mr. Wumin and I. We just cleaned it up this morning, and it is still wet. Her feet slipped, and the whole The person fell over, and Lord Wumin quickly hid aside, but the corner of his clothes accidentally brought it to the pillow, so I saw Princess Sheng'an fall straight to the place where I originally hid the needle...
And later, when Mr. Wumin and I turned the face of Princess Sheng'an who had been silent, I saw her eyes were closed, and there were still a few needles sticking out of her forehead...
So scary, so scary, so artistic...