53. When Lu Rong watched 100mb Fucking Tomorrow and went to Fanrenwen
Lu Rong wanted to praise Lao Wang as the king of skewers, but the person who tried to fuck him was a magic stick. His plan: When people go to his stall to buy small fish cakes, they can get a quote from his oracle.
Lu Rong has done some research on the magic stick major, and plans to do it like this: make a statistics of all the problems faced by junior and senior high school students in the process of growing up, and give standardized chicken soup answers, and then let Lao Wang from the Chinese Department polish it himself, and put The simple and detailed answers are confusing, dreamlike, false and real, and babbled, which is basically a street fortune-telling routine. Then let Li Nan side make a hype, saying that the guy selling small fish cakes at the school gate is very mysterious, he is an outsider, who can touch love and keep his grades in exams. Compared with other skewers, Lao Wang has more One feature, that is, the core competition point - a life mentor who lives in seclusion.
Lu Rong's initial idea was like this, and he also wanted to learn from senior witches like Rotten Girls. Is there any secret method that is not passed down in their magic stick world? He is just a swindler, a rotten girl... After personal experience, Lu Rong felt that she was really from the metaphysics world.
Lu Rong: "How did you analyze our emotional trends, I'm curious."
The rotten girl smiled mysteriously: "The first thing is to observe. There will be a special aura among the callers. Just pay a little attention and you can lock the CP in the crowd."
Lu Rong: "If I remember correctly, I didn't have any interaction or contact with him on campus."
The rotten girl chuckled, "Who are you referring to?"
Lu Rong: "... that person."
The rotten girl Liu Mei slapped the table upside down: "Tell me loudly, who are you talking about?!"
Lu Rong raised his forehead: "...my husband."
The rotten girl is comfortable all over: "In the beginning I was just a blind sniper. You know, Ma Ma, I love you the most. We have the most handsome boy in our school. Ma Ma must be reserved for you to form CP."
Lu Rong: "Thank you very much."
Rotten girl: "But the next day I will be sure, I will blindly spy on a hundred marriages. Every time Ji Wenfeng goes upstairs from our second teaching building after doing exercises, he pretends to look at you casually when he passes by. I also carefully I have observed his body turning movement, and he is also looking at you when he turns around."
Lu Rong: "Class 1 is ahead of us in doing exercises. In order to observe him, you can't turn your body to the back during the body turning exercise—this is the reason why our class deducted 30 points for gymnastics this week. The ghost turned out to be you."
Rotten girl: "Is that the only thought you have when you hear the news?"
Lu Rong: "...he's so perverted."
The rotten girl chuckled: "Sometimes he stands in the corridor of Class 1 and looks at you from the air."
Lu Rong: "It's so terrifying." What made Ji Wenfeng so persistent.
Rotten girl: "It's love."
Lu Rong: "..."
He always felt that the rotten girl could hear him. Because of this, he once suspected that the rotten girl was her soul mate.
Rotten girl: "As long as you have studied CP, you will find that there are only a few types of interaction modes for CP. Just observe the locked CP in reality for a little bit, and you can distinguish their interaction modes: scumbags, cheap people, cheap people Shou slag attack, black belly attack silly white sweet shou, arrogant attack straight ball shou, sick and spoiled attack ghost animal shou, mindless and unhappy, love and kill each other, two-way crush, reunion with broken mirrors, double stalking, childhood sweetheart, wealthy sadomasochism, happy enemy, Qiangqiang, childbirth, young age, special liking, erroneous circumstances, the seven-year itch... "
Lu Rong: "Are you reporting the name of the dish?"
Rotten girl: "I'm applying for the Jinjiang Tanmeiwen label."
Lu Rong: "Which type are we?"
Rotten girl: "Your types are a bit complicated. You are pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger. Your husband has just fallen in love and has not realized how much black water you have in your belly, so you eat him to death. Yours The type of interaction is: on the surface, your husband is in charge of the house, and you are just a weak, innocent and pitiful child bride; in fact, your husband is honest when he says he doesn’t want his body, and he is a madman who spoils his wife.”
Lu Rong: "... still so perverted."
The more the rotten girl talked, the more excited she became: "If you analyze your behavior patterns, it will be very easy to predict your behavior. He had an affair with someone last week, and you must have experienced a bloody quarrel-reconcile- Argument-reconciliation-argument-reconciliation-reconciliation Want to make your relationship public. Considering your cautious and low-key personality, you will avoid publicly acknowledging that he is your husband, but you need a layer of public decorum close relationship."
Lu Rong: "..."
She spoke like she was there at the time.
While showing off, the rotten girl did not forget to warn him: "When he passes through this period of passionate love when he sees your IQ cleared, he will become a ghost. Sooner or later, he will expose your true colors. Keep your hands in everything and don't play with it." He is too ruthless, be careful of his crazy revenge."
Lu Rong put his fingers into a pyramid shape, pondered for a long time, and took out a pen and paper: "I have already figured out your routine. You observe a pair of CPs, explore their behavior patterns, and rely on your rich experience to predict small incidents they will encounter. The reaction at the time is nine out of ten accurate. And the cp type determines the fate, to a certain extent, you can also predict their future."
The rotten girl flicked her hair: "That's right. My mother is an emotional prophet."
Lu Rong felt that Pharaoh couldn't do this. This requires him to immerse himself in a field for many years, possessing a large amount of knowledge reserves and practical experience, just like a rotten girl immersed in the pornographic world.
The plan ran aground, Lu Rong was upset for a while, and then turned his attention to the rotten girl.
Maybe... he can use this living fairy
Lu Rong: "Show me your essay."
Rotten girl: "You, what are you talking about! People don't write articles!"
Lu Rong: "..." Why are you shy in a strange place.
Lu Rong: "Didn't you package and send the article of Ling Ren x Fang Chang to my Q?"
Rotten girl: "When Amway cp's crazily post pornographic texts, but when Amway's partner really enters the circle, I feel a little ashamed to pick a horse."
Lu Rong put on a show and sighed: "Listen, I think what you said is right, my husband will fuck me one day. I want to see how the general danmei world treats people, so I can be mentally prepared."
The rotten girl took his hands together: "There are not many people who are willing to read abuse articles these days!"
Organize your essay and throw it to him.
In order to enhance Lu Rong's sense of reading substitution, the rotten girl used search and replacement to change the capital of Gong to Ji Wenfeng and the capital of Shou to Lu Rong.
Lu Rong endured the discomfort and finished watching those whip dripping wax □□plays, crossed the gate of the new world for men and women, and deeply inspected the copywriting level of rotten women. Rotten girls are fully capable of writing golden sentences of love that have been passed down through the ages. Her famous quotes about love would be very popular if they were printed on napkins. Doing so can also keep Pharaoh from being distracted when frying skewers, killing two birds with one stone.
The only problem is...
Rotten girl: "Why don't you go eat, son?"
Lu Rong lay on the seat: "I can't eat."
Rotten girl: "Are you sick? Do you want to find your husband..."
Lu Rong: "No!"
After watching all kinds of Ji Wenfeng x Lu Rong in 100m, he got ptsd for Ji Wenfeng.
Coincidentally, Class 1 planned to go to the ktv party that night, as a celebration ceremony for Ji Wenfeng's transfer to another school and as the class leader. Ji Wenfeng sent a WeChat message to Lu Rong, saying that he could not go home with him at night.
Ji Wenfeng: "But don't think about going to the bar, I will let Lao Song come and pick you up."
Lu Rong: "Okay."
Lu Rong exited the chat interface with Ji Wenfeng, and clicked on Lao Song's chat interface: "You don't need to come here at night."
Lao Song: "But the young master said..."
Lu Rong: "Don't make me repeat it a second time."
Lao Song: "... yes."
Lao Song put the phone aside, took off the brim of his hat, and drove the Bentley away from the school district, sliding into the depths of this luxurious city.
Being a driver in a wealthy family is the same as being an official in the municipal party committee, you need to stand in line at critical moments.
If you want to ask whose side Lao Song is on? Undoubtedly the young master. The young master is always the winner.
Because when a man faces his wife, winning is also losing, and losing is also losing. There is no future for following the young master.
Lu Rong dismissed Ji Wenfeng and spared the whole night. He nodded on the shoulder of the rotten girl sitting in front: "Let's have dinner together tonight."
The rotten girl turned around as if she had seen a ghost: "Seriously?"
Lu Rong: "Of course."
The rotten woman pretended to think about it, wondering why: "Hmm... it would be a date if it was just the two of us, and I would consider it if there was a third person."
Lu Rong: "It's a three-person game."
The rotten girl turned back, clenched her fists excitedly and shouted "yeah", bursting with joy. Zai Zai finally wants to show his husband to Ma Ma~
Lu Rong didn't care about the pettiness of the rotten girl, so she skipped class and went to meet Lao Wang first.
Old Wang is still in Yanqing's attire. White T-shirt, baggy shorts, flip-flops, and a cigarette behind the ear.
He tried his best, he tried to fix his hair with gel water, but his hair was too thin, and he could only make the four sides support the center.
Lu Rong put himself into the mind of an ordinary consumer, and made sure that he never wanted to buy fried food from such a greasy, fat, pot-bellied uncle. This further strengthened his determination to do a thorough image design of Lao Wang.
He waved: "Come with me."
The two came to the barber shop where Jitong Fangqing and Ji Wenfeng had their hair done when they got married.
The hair-washing boy was quite impressed with Lu Rong in school uniform. This brother brought a handsome guy to wash his hair last time, but he rolled up his sleeves and became a hair-washing boy without saying a word. Afterwards, the shampoo boys in the whole store held a meeting regarding this matter, and they all agreed that his skills were superb, and it was very likely that he came to humiliate them. If Ji Wenfeng hadn't paid the money as usual in the end, they would have put Lu Rong on the list of banned customers for life.
The guy who washes his hair smiled business-like: "Hey, are you here to wash your hair?"
Lu Rong took out a flyer from his hand that said "Mid-year store celebration, 20% off" and glanced at Pharaoh: "He washes it."
The boy who washed his hair understood: "Oh. There are vacancies inside, you go in." He continued to stand in front of the door and hand out coupons.
Lu Rong: "...You guys wash him."
Shampoo boy: "Oh! I'm sorry! I thought you were going to wash someone else yourself—tony, please entertain me!"
Old Wang asked Lu Rong as he walked in, "Do you work here?"
Lu Rong: "..."
Lu Rong put down his schoolbag and started his homework in the waiting area of the barber shop. Lao Wang quickly finished washing his hair and was pushed to sit in the position of senior director.
The senior director stroked his wet forehead, which looked like an egg: "Xiansen, your hair loss problem is very serious."
Lao Wang: "In the past, hair loss was serious, and it fell out in a handful when I grabbed it. Now it's much better. I just washed my hair in it and only a few strands fell out."
There was a grumpy "fuck" from Tony inside: "The water pipe is blocked! Someone please clear it up!"
Old Wang: "..."
Tony put his hips on his hips and called, "Is there no one?!"
The guys in the shop were drying their hair, and those who weren’t ran out to distribute leaflets. Even the senior director pretended to be busy combing Lao Wang’s hair.
In the silence, Lu Rong's calm offer came from the waiting area: "The water pipe is 50."
Tony: "..."
Tony: "Come here."
Lu Rong put down the pen and paper, passed behind the senior director, and the tense and lively atmosphere returned to the barber shop.
Senior Director: "Xiansen, you used to shed a lot, but now you shed less. That's because you've already lost all your hair."
Old Wang: "..."
Senior Director: "What kind of shampoo does Xiansen usually use at home?"
Old Wang: "Soap."
Senior Director: "Hey, this is not acceptable, Mr. Sen. Hair is like grass in spring, and scalp is the soil that grows spring grass. If there is a problem with the soil, the grass will not grow. Have you ever seen the land that is fertilized with soap? Can it become a fertile field?"
Old Wang: "...you fucking convinced me."
Senior Director: "Here I will give you a treatment plan, please listen to it. It is recommended that you do a scalp treatment first, clean the pores of the scalp, control oil secretion, restore the balance of water and oil, and restore the health and moisture of your scalp skin, and then Gradually increase the growth liquid that stimulates hair growth. This set works very well, and after a month, you can make your head full of fine fluff. Here are the comparison pictures of customers in our store."
The senior director called up the photos on his mobile phone, and Lao Wang couldn't stand it when he saw them.
Lao Wang was moved: "How much?"
Senior Director: "One course of treatment 18888."
Lu Rong came back from the sewer and passed behind the senior director: "Shave him all off."
Lao Wang, Senior Director: "..."
Senior Director: "But after a course of treatment, the effect is really..."
Lu Rong: "Don't make me say it a second time."
Senior Director: "Hey."
After Lao Wang shaved his head, Lu Rong took him to the checkout counter.
Checkout brother: "Hello, the total is 52 for washing, cutting and not blowing."
Lu Rong took out the flyer from his pocket with ease, slowly tore off the 20% discount coupon printed with dotted lines, and gracefully pushed it in front of the checkout boy.
Checkout brother: "..." took out the computer and calculated, "41.6."
Lu Rong: "50 yuan for the water pipe, but find me 8 yuan 4, WeChat."
Checkout brother: "..."
After Lu Rong left, all the shampoo boys in the barber shop put aside their intrigue and held an emergency meeting. The meeting unanimously approved that Lu Rong be banned from entering the customer list for life.
This person came to their shop to wash his hair and still earned 8 yuan. 4, it's terrifying.