He Yan came back late, so she parked the car on the side of the road first, then took out the newspapers and magazines she subscribed to from the mailbox at the gate of the yard, and walked into the yard while flipping through them. Very unexpectedly, she found a letter, a brown paper envelope, with only her name written on it.
It was a handwritten letter that was already rare. There was a touch of ink bamboo printed on the letter paper. The bamboo branches were tall and straight, just like the writing on the paper:
Hello, He Yan.
When you write this letter, you are sleeping next to me, but when you read this letter, my dirty body is buried deep in nowhere. fantastic. isn't it? We faced each other again after a year, separated by life and death, you looked at the words I wrote, but I greedily looked at your face.
Ah Yan, I'm as mean as ever. Yet cowardly and weak.
Even facing you a year later, I still don't have the guts to ask if the child is okay. In my heart, I humbly hoped that he could lie beside you at this moment, but I comforted myself by deluding myself, it doesn't matter, if he can't be by your side, he can at least be by my side.
Will there be my shadow in the eyes of this child whom I am trying to save with my life
I used to think that I have a thousand words, but I didn't know what to say until I wrote the pen. It was me who dragged you into hell inch by inch, but now you are delusional that you can be moved by my words, it is ridiculous, isn't it
But I've done even more ridiculous things than that, hiding alone in a dark video room like a voyeur. Watching the details of life between you and Liang Yuanze, watching the two of you sitting on one end of the sofa, doing what you want to do, sometimes you will smile at him, sometimes lose your temper at him, and sometimes even stretch She kicked him with her toes, and said unceremoniously, "Yuanze, go get me a glass of water."
Every time I see this, my heart will go crazy with jealousy, but sadly find that I can't change anything, I can only imagine that if the man in the image can be replaced by me. How nice that would be.
That's not Liang Yuanze, that's me, it's me by your side, you're smiling at me, you're losing your temper at me, you stick out your toes to kick that man, it's me.
But that person is not me after all, and I am not as good-tempered as Liang Yuanze.
I won't ask you to sit so far away from me, you have to sit beside me, preferably in my arms. When you smile at me, I lean down and kiss you. But if you lose your temper with me, I will definitely bring you over and teach you a lesson. will i pour water for you I've thought about this question seriously, and the answer is that I will too, but I should be instructing you more: "Ayan, go and cook for me, I'm hungry."
Much like a schizophrenic delusional, won't you laugh
Ah Yan, you are right, everything about us is wrong. Meeting is wrong, beginning is wrong, entanglement is wrong, everything is wrong, whatever you do is wrong. And I just hope at this moment, that I can properly terminate these errors.
Ah Yan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for causing you such harm, I regret it too much.
Ah Yan, I am willing, I am willing to use my death to end all this wrong thing and return your peaceful life.
Ah-yeon, Ah-yeon, Ah-yeon, Ah-yeon, Ah-yeon. I read your name over and over again, hoping to remember it more firmly, so that it can accompany me on the next journey to the underworld.
Ah Yan, do you know
I have thought more than once that it would have been nice if we hadn't started off so badly that night.
The setting sun slanted from the side and fell on the paper, making the handwriting a little blurry. Unknowingly, tears rolled silently from the corners of her eyes, He Yan didn't know why she was crying, but she couldn't control herself. Just like a year ago, when she came out of the color ultrasound room of the maternity hospital, she lost her strength after walking two steps, so she could only lean in the corridor, cover her mouth with her hands, and slowly slipped down.
She saw the nearly four-month-old fetus, the child with long arms and legs, swimming and playing in the amniotic fluid. It is constantly moving, lively and joyful, and has no idea what its next fate will be. Such a living life!
People came and went in the corridor, and all kinds of sights fell on her. Liang Yuanze walked over from the waiting area, without hesitation about other people's eyes, held her shoulders with both hands, and lifted her from the ground with his lips pursed, "Yanyan, we won't have surgery, let's go back."
She looked up at him in astonishment, was stunned for a moment, and then said hoarsely: "This is Shen Zhijie's child."
"It's yours too." He answered her, with conflicts in his eyes, but slowly, those eyes finally became firm. He stared at her and told her word by word: "No, it doesn't belong to Shen Zhijie, it's just yours." It will be our child in the future. Yanyan, let's go back."
"Our child has been killed by Shen Zhijie." She said in a daze, she put her head on his shoulder, and told him the secret hidden in her heart, "Yuanze, we had a child, our child was killed by him, he forced Tell me to have an abortion and threaten me with your life."
Liang Yuanze's body froze instantly, he never knew that they had another child, never knew.
As she talked, she finally couldn't control her emotions, and she cried bitterly like a child, "I hate, I hate. He killed our children, why should we keep his children? No, we don't, Absolutely not! Let’s go, we’re going to have an operation now. We can’t let it grow up anymore!” She almost lost control, and dragged him forward in a panic, “Hurry up, hurry up.”
He followed her for a few steps, but stopped and grabbed her, "Yanyan, let's go home."
She slowly calmed down, stood there, looked at him helplessly, and called his name softly: "Yuan Ze."
He stretched out his hand, grabbed her head and pressed it to his chest. After a long time, he told her slowly: "Yanyan, we are different from him."
Yes, they are different from Shen Zhijie, even though they have been humiliated and hurt, they still will not become like Shen Zhijie. Because no matter how hurt you are, it can never be a reason to hurt someone else. She understands, Liang Yuanze understands, but Shen Zhijie does not understand, never understand.
He Yan wiped away her tears, tore up the letter and the envelope, and threw it into the trash can next to it. She lowered her head and looked for the key from her purse, and finally found the key. Before she could insert it into the lock, the door was opened from the inside.
Liang Yuanze held the baby in one hand, but held the baby bottle in the other hand, looked at her like a savior, but kept complaining: "I heard your car sound a long time ago, why didn't you go in for a long time, and you were outside What are you talking about? If this happens in the future, I will never let you go out alone again."
She didn't answer, just laughed, but she smiled, but her eyes were red.
In fact, life can be like this is already very good.
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