Ji Guanxin is not a fool, no, he should be said to be extremely smart.
He looked at me and was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked: "Have you seen Luo Xiangdong?"
A faint question, but an affirmative look.
I lowered my gaze and acquiesced.
Ji Guanxin asked again: "What did he tell you?"
I lowered my head and stared blankly at the buttons on Ji Guanxin's coat. After hearing this, I whispered back: "He asked me to be nice to you..."
I thought Ji Guanxin would be furious, even determined. Because his Achilles' heel is Luo Xiangdong. No matter what Luo Xiangdong does or says, as long as it has anything to do with me, he will get angry.
But this time... when I was ready to bear his irritability and anger, he just said softly: "Use him to fart? Of course I will treat you well."
After saying that, he reached out and pulled me into his arms, held me, and rested his chin on my head.
For a moment, I was so sad that I couldn't even cry, and my whole body was as stretched as a stone.
Ji Guanxin hugged me and his voice came from above his head: "I won't leave from now on. I will stay with you to prevent shameless people from taking advantage of the situation."
I would rather Ji Guanxin loses his temper with me and scolds me, which is better than what he is doing now... I was so depressed that I grabbed his coat tightly, gritted my teeth, and kept trembling slightly.
I couldn't see the expression on Ji Guanxin's face. Uncharacteristically, he said to me in a calm voice: "Stop crying, I won't force you anymore."
My vision was blurred, I was choked with sobs and trembling, but I still squeezed out a weak voice from my throat: "Guan Xin... I'm sorry..."
I don’t know what this apology is for. Is it my own distrust of him? Or... I couldn't say I loved him
When Ji Guanxin heard this, he quickly replied to me: "Don't say sorry at all. There is no need between us."
The more he acted like this, the more uncomfortable I felt. I grabbed his coat. I didn't think about anything. I just didn't want to hide it from him anymore, so I quickly said, "I'm with you, but I'm still thinking of someone else..."
Actually I have a lot to say. I want to tell him that if he is too tired, there is really no need to accommodate me. I know that I am not doing well with him, but my heart still hurts when I see Luo Xiangdong.
I'm not a person who can hide things. I used to think that if we didn't see each other, we would slowly forget them, and if we didn't mention them, we could treat them as memories. But now Luo Xiangdong's words "Okay" make me unable to be okay again.
Just like Ji Guanxin asked me today if I love him, if he asked about "like" him, I would answer him without hesitation, "I like him".
But he asked me if I loved him... Maybe I was seeking death, but I just didn't want to go against my will.
I was so choked that it was difficult to speak a word. Before I could tell Ji Guanxin that I was too tired to leave, he blocked my mouth in advance and said, "I allow you to hide him in your heart."
“…”
"I used to think that liking is no different from love. If you like her, chase her. If you still don't get tired of being together for a long time and it's love, then get married. I also thought that I would never meet someone who wants to marry her in this life, let alone The person who is allowed to be around me still has someone else living in her heart. But now... "
"Zijin, I allow you to hide him in your heart, the deeper the better, preferably so deep that I can't notice it. I won't force you anymore, and I won't give you a chance to say you're tired and want to break up. Even so. You love him, but now that you are with me, I don’t believe that you don’t like me. If you like me, it will gradually turn into love.”
"Actually, we are very compatible. I don't think I am any worse than him. At most, I met you later than him. I can give you whatever he can give you, and I will give you whatever he can't give you."
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone for so long..."
Since I met Ji Guanxin, I have only seen him speak seriously very rarely. I remember the last time was in the countryside of Liangcheng, when he said he liked me.
I thought he would be angry that I met Luo Xiangdong in private. I didn't even have the strength to explain, but he said he wouldn't force me anymore.
My tears could no longer be sealed and surged out like a dam. Ji Guanxin pressed my face on his chest, and I hugged him tightly and cried loudly.
When I had finished crying, Ji Guanxin lowered his head and took a look, and his first words were: "You put your snot on my clothes, you can wash it for me later."
I did have tears, snot, and saliva all over Ji Guanxin's body. When he said that, I was embarrassed, so I instinctively raised my hand to wipe it away.
Ji Guanxin said "Hey" and then turned me around and walked towards the sofa. There were tissues on the coffee table, and he took out several in succession to wipe my nose.
I lowered my head and took it and wiped it myself.
Ji Guanxin looked at me and said, "Are you happy crying?"
My eyes were swollen from crying, my eyelids felt tight, and even my vision became a slit. After blowing my nose vigorously, I nodded and replied in a muffled voice: "It feels much better."
Ji Guanxin said: "Are you still angry that Zhou Mengyi and I went to Japan?"
I shook my head.
Ji Guanxin glanced and added: "I haven't talked about your private meeting with Luo Xiangdong yet. We are even."
When he mentioned Luo Xiangdong, I wanted to cry a little bit, but I held it back. I looked at him with red eyes and said, "The reason why Luo Xiangdong and I meet again is not because of our affairs... but because of Kuang Yiyang."
I still plan to speak clearly to Ji Guanxin, otherwise I will keep hiding things in my heart and always feel uneasy.
Ji Guanwen said, subconsciously raising his eyebrows and showing suspicion.
I bent down and took out a few more pieces of paper from the tissue box, blowing my nose and wiping my tears. He said twitchingly: "Kuang Yiyang, he is Luo Xiangdong's nephew."
"Ah?" Ji Guanxin frowned, and the expression on his face perfectly explained what it meant to be unbelievably surprised.
I nodded: "It's true."
Ji Guanxin stood in front of me and didn't speak for ten seconds. He just looked like... he had eaten something dirty.
I said: "It was Kuang Yiyang who greeted Luo Xiangdong at the beginning, so I was able to enter Luo's family so smoothly. I didn't know their relationship until very late."
The corners of Ji Guanxin's lips curved up in an extremely mocking arc, and he said coldly: "Are they both sick?"
“…”
After a while, Ji Guanxin looked at me and said, "So Luo Xiangdong can't control Kuang Yiyang's drug use?"
I answered him in a low voice: "Yi Yang didn't learn well because he was angry with me and Luo Xiangdong. I also led a group to another place some time ago, and I didn't know he had become like this until I happened to meet him. I don't want to cause him to decline because of me. He Only twenty-two years old.”
Ji Guanxin frowned and said, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
I didn't reply to him because it was really hard to say such things. How should I tell him
Ji Guanxin cursed to himself: "Luo Xiangdong is so damn good. He dares to hook up with you even though he knows his nephew likes you. His nephew deserves to die!"
I said, "I met Luo Xiangdong again just because of Yi Yang. All in all, I just had this little thing on my mind. Now that I have said it out, I feel relaxed."
After saying that, I walked to the sofa, sat down, and never wanted to get up again.
Ji Guanxin turned to look at me, and when he saw that I looked like I could ascend to heaven anytime and anywhere, his eyes showed distress. He came over and sat next to me, reached out and pinched my face, and said, "Aren't you tired with so many things hidden in your heart?"
I nodded slightly: "Tired."
Ji Guanxin said: "You should have told me earlier so that I could help you vent your anger."
I said, "I've stopped being angry a long time ago."
Now I am not angry with Luo Xiangdong or Kuang Yiyang. I just hope that everyone is well.
Ji Guanxin was silent for a while and said softly: "Is it because of Kuang Yiyang that you didn't get together with Luo Xiangdong?"
I lowered my gaze slightly, neither confirming nor denying.
After a while, Ji Guanxin said: "Is it true that without Kuang Yiyang, you and Luo Xiangdong would be together naturally?"
This time, I raised my swollen eyes, looked at Ji Guanxin and said, "If I were not with you and Kuang Yiyang could forgive us, maybe I would still be with him."
Ji Guanxin asked: "What about now?"
He held my hand, and I shook his hand in return. I said quietly but firmly, "I want to be good with you."
Ji Guanxin tightened his hands, looked at me and said, "In view of your frankness and leniency, I will temporarily forgive you for having someone else in your heart."
After saying that, he quickly added: "I want to think about it, don't think about it blindly, women's ethics still have to be observed."
I almost blurted out that before Luo Xiangdong came to the apartment to look for me, he just touched me once, and I rolled on the ground like a naughty boy. Wasn't it just to 'keep myself safe' for him
But I still held back what I said, because there was no need to say it. After saying that, Bao Qi Ji Guanxin didn't make the right move, so he went back to fight with Luo Xiangdong.
When I thought of this, I said one more thing: "Ji Guanxin, I have told you all the things that are on my mind. We are all in Night City. We may meet each other in the future. I hope you will stop talking to Luo Xiangdong. Fucked to death.”
I felt sad watching it.
Ji Guanxin's expression was calm, and he replied to me: "You are my girlfriend now. As long as he doesn't come to chat with you, why should I go to fight with him? I don't think it's cheap to fight with him."
I said: "Then you have promised me."
Ji Guanxin nodded happily: "I promise you."
I often breathe a sigh of relief. Although the current situation has not changed, I feel like it is getting brighter.
A meteor will fall because too many people have made too many unrealistic wishes for it; the heart will be tired because it hides too many ulterior secrets.
Now that I have made it clear, whether Ji Guanxin can accept it or not, I always feel that I can face him calmly in the future, without having to worry about him asking me things that I can't answer.
Ji Guanxin and I were sitting on the sofa in the travel agency's guest room. Because I didn't sleep all night last night, I was dizzy from crying again. Ji Guanxin let me rest on his shoulder, and I fell asleep at some point.
I slept for almost two hours. If my neck hadn't hurt so much, I wouldn't have thought to open my eyes.
Ji Guanxin's voice came to his ears: "Get up and go home to sleep. Don't catch a cold."