I never gave Luo Xiangdong an answer, and Luo Xiangdong just kept holding on to me. I was so sleepy that I couldn't open my eyes, so I had to take the initiative to say: "I'm going to sleep, you should go first."
Luo Xiangdong said: "I will sleep here tonight."
I immediately became excited and most of my sleepiness disappeared.
"Luo Xiangdong, do you think I have to be with you after we separate from Ji Guanxin?"
My voice was neither loud nor angry. I was not only asking him, but also myself.
Ask yourself, I have had a bumpy journey, but I have to take it seriously and try my best every time. Even if it didn't end well in the end, I tried hard after all.
I admit that I love Luo Xiangdong, but this love is too hard, and I no longer have the courage to risk everything.
Luo Xiangdong said: "You are single now, I will chase you this time."
My brain was so sleepy that my reaction was slow, and I answered him after a few seconds: "Then wait until you catch up with me and then talk about staying at my house."
After saying that, I struggled in his arms. Luo Xiangdong slowly let go of me. I stood in the same position for too long, and my body felt numb.
He lowered his eyes slightly and looked at me. I felt uncomfortable being stared at by him, and I couldn't help but urge him: "Go away quickly."
Luo Xiangdong said: "Women always like to talk sarcastically. If you let me go, do you actually want me to stay in your heart?"
He was serious and not joking. You are asking me out of your mind.
I asked myself, do you want him to stay
If I really want him to stay, the biggest reason is that I don't want to be alone in an empty room.
But the person in front of me is Luo Xiangdong, so even if I am afraid of being alone, I will not let him stay.
Lowering my gaze slightly, I said, "I want to be alone for a while."
Luo Xiangdong looked at me for a while, and then he said: "Okay, you go to bed early tonight, I will come see you tomorrow."
I stood still and said nothing. Luo Xiangdong hesitated for a long time before walking towards the door. I glanced at his back as he walked further and further away from the corner of my eye, and I suddenly said: "Luo Xiangdong..."
He quickly stopped, then turned around, looked at me and asked, "What's wrong?"
I also raised my head, met his eyes with swollen eyes, and whispered, "Can you please stop looking for Ji Guanxin?"
Luo Xiangdong was silent for a few seconds, and then asked me: "Do you want to hear the truth or lies?"
As soon as he said this, I understood what he meant, so I said: "We are divided, good and bad are things in the past. I don't want to worry about who is right and who is wrong anymore, I just want to live quietly. "
Luo Xiangdong looked at me, there was no anger or harshness on his face, there was just a coldness down to his bones, but this made me even more scared.
He said: "The matter between you and him is over, but the account between me and him has not been settled yet."
I am really exhausted, as if this relationship has used up all my energy and overdrawn all my physical strength.
There are thousands of words to say, but when the words came to my lips, I just said: "Luo Xiangdong, I am really tired."
I don’t want any more vigorous love, nor do I want to find a boyfriend who won’t cheat on me. Now I don’t become a monk just because I can’t find a suitable nunnery.
If you ask me what I want, right now I just want nothing to happen to me from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close them. I work seriously, treat everyone around me seriously, and then I can sleep soundly every night.
The mirror reflected the same dejected me. After maybe ten seconds, I finally waited for Luo Xiangdong's reply. He said, "Okay, I promise you won't take the initiative to trouble Ji Guanxin."
After finishing speaking, he added after a few seconds: "But if he provokes you again, don't blame me for not saying hello to you in advance."
I didn't nod or shake my head, which was my acquiescence.
Luo Xiangdong stood two meters in front of me. He looked at me and said, "I'm leaving."
"Um."
While I was still standing at the dining table, Luo Xiangdong turned around and walked toward the door. When he opened the door and stood at the door, he turned to me and said, "Call me if you need anything, and I'll come find you tomorrow."
I said a low 'hmm', but I don't know if Luo Xiangdong heard me.
He finally stepped out and closed the door. I was the only one left in the house for a moment. I looked at the place where Luo Xiangdong stood in a daze, and I couldn't tell what it felt like.
After standing there for a long time, I finally moved. Change clothes, take a shower, and blow dry your hair. I'm the same as usual, it's just the familiar face with a haggard look in the mirror reminding me what exactly happened today.
By the time I left the bathroom, at least an hour had passed. The cell phone in my coat was ringing. I didn't know who was calling me at such a late hour. I walked over and took it out and saw that it was Luo Xiangdong.
After hesitating for a while, I finally got through.
"Hello?"
"Hey... are you asleep?" Luo Xiangdong's deep voice came.
I said truthfully: "Not yet."
Luo Xiangdong said: "Don't think about the past, don't think about the people you don't need to remember, and have a good sleep..."
When he was halfway through his words, a woman screamed. This scream came from outside the apartment door and from the phone at the same time. I was shocked and couldn't react for a moment. I only heard a woman's trembling voice coming from the phone: "I was scared to death. I didn't expect this." There are others…”
I walked to the door with my phone in hand, and when I looked through the peephole, I saw a man and a woman standing not far from the door. The man is Luo Xiangdong who is holding a mobile phone, and the woman is my next door neighbor. I met her once.
Opening the door, I looked at Luo Xiangdong and asked, "Why haven't you left yet?"
Luo Xiangdong held the cell phone and did not answer the call immediately. The frightened woman who was still holding her chest looked at me and said, "It turns out to be your friend. I was scared to death just now. The voice control light didn't turn on when I got out of the elevator. I didn't expect there was anyone here."
I had to apologize and said, "I'm sorry."
The woman was looking for the keys and said, "It's okay. Let him come in quickly. It's so cold outside."
I didn't ask Luo Xiangdong to come in. Luo Xiangdong walked towards me on his own, and I instinctively took a step back. Luo Xiangdong stepped in and immediately closed the door.
The two of us were blocked in the not-so-wide hallway. I raised my eyes and asked him, "Why haven't you left yet?"
Luo Xiangdong lowered his eyes slightly and looked back at me. He opened his thin lips and said, "I don't want to leave."
“…”
What do you mean you don't want to leave? I didn't ask him out loud, and he didn't answer. After standing like this for a while, Luo Xiangdong took the initiative and said, "I don't want you to live here alone."
I said, "This is not the first time I've been dumped after a breakup. I can bear it. You don't have to worry that I won't be able to get through this."
Luo Xiangdong said: "If you are sleepy, just sleep in your room. I will watch TV in the living room."
They say women love to lie, but in fact it is men who say one thing and do another. If you say you were watching TV at my house, no one would believe it.
I raised my eyes and looked at Luo Xiangdong, and said resolutely: "Luo Xiangdong, I said forget everything in the past, but if you think that I can accept you again at any time, then you are wrong."
Every time I learn something, I will gain wisdom. I will never trust anyone easily in the future.
I thought Luo Xiangdong would defend himself, but unexpectedly he just looked at me and replied calmly: "I didn't expect you to forgive me right away, I just don't want you to be alone anymore."
I said, "I'm used to it."
After that, without giving Luo Xiangdong a chance to say anything else, I unlocked the door and pushed the door halfway open.
It's really cold outside, at least it's incomparable to the floor heating indoors. I was wearing a thin cotton pajamas, and I felt goosebumps all over my body.
Luo Xiangdong was more obedient than I thought. He turned around and crossed the threshold, then held on to the door frame and said to me, "See you tomorrow."
I didn't reply to him, I pulled the door handle, closed the door and deliberately locked several anti-theft locks. Luo Xiangdong was standing outside the door, and it was impossible for him not to hear the click of the lock.
I am afraid that I will feel distressed and soft-hearted. I quickly turned around and went back to the master bedroom, turned off the light and lay down on my bed.
The phone was placed next to the pillow. Deep in my heart, I never thought about whether Luo Xiangdong would call me again. The room was dark. If it were normal, I would definitely feel that I was alone again. But with Luo Xiangdong standing outside the door before, I really felt that I was not alone. Someone was with me. Even if we were not under the same roof, I knew he was always there.
always there…
Will Luo Xiangdong not leave this time
Once you have this thought in your mind, you can never get rid of it. She said to keep her distance from him, but in her heart she told herself that she could not be soft-hearted and forgive him easily. But I lay down most of the night and got out of bed and walked quietly to the door. I thought no one except me would be so worthless.
I comforted myself that I didn't feel sorry for Luo Xiangdong, I was just... wondering if he was still there.
I didn't turn on the light, so I took my mobile phone to illuminate it and came to the door. When I looked out through the peephole, I saw that because no one made a sound, the voice-activated light was not on and it was completely dark.
I was thinking about whether Luo Xiangdong was there or not even with the light turned off, when I saw a dark red bright spot in the darkness, flickering on and off.
I blinked a few times and took a closer look. The height of the red highlight was exactly my height. And the red dot was up and down for a while... I quickly realized that it was smoke.
It was someone standing in the dark smoking.
Apart from Luo Xiangdong, I don’t think so. It’s just that Luo Xiangdong has been standing outside the door for more than half an hour, and he didn’t even call me to hint that if I didn’t come out to see him, wouldn’t he be standing there in vain
I'm still a little worried about Luo Xiangdong in my heart. He and I are separated by a door, one is inside and the other is outside. It was difficult for me to look out of the peephole, especially after he finished smoking a cigarette. I always wondered if he would leave.
But not long after, the red dot will continue to light up again. When Luo Xiangdong lit a cigarette with a lighter, the light from the lighter allowed me to see most of his face clearly in an instant. He was leaning against the wall across from my apartment, his eyes on me as the fire went out.