I never expected to meet Ji Guanxin in my life, and from the moment he saw me sitting in Luo Xiangdong's car, he kept honking at me. We have each other in our destiny.
From acquaintance, familiarity, knowing each other, falling in love and then forgetting each other. Our beginning is different from ordinary people. So that our separation was so sad and at a loss.
Even up to the second before I received this call, I was not sure why Ji Guanxin chose to break up with me in the first place, and he didn't even want to see me for the extra reason.
I'm not stupid though. But he's not a smart man either. So I've been running away from this problem. Now that the result has been obtained, I will no longer pursue the cause.
It’s just that I often think of Ji Guanxin and the scenes that happened to us in the past. He made me cry in the street. He forced me to sit in his car; he faked his death at a public auction and was so frightened that my legs went weak and Zhang Danqing helped me to the mourning hall; he suddenly appeared in Liangcheng. He never asked me why I came home. But he used his own way to keep me safe; we made an agreement. The second rule is that he can never lie to me, otherwise everyone will go back to their own homes and find their own mothers.
He said that to me too. As long as you don't dump me. I will never let you go.
But later, he chose to let go first without saying any reason. Until I met him again in the imperial court, he made me completely hurt.
I don't hate Ji Guanxin, I really never have, even if he hurt me in front of so many people.
It's really strange that a stingy person like me doesn't blame him at all.
It has been a long time now, and I have been with Luo Xiangdong for a long time. When I lose my temper with Luo Xiangdong every time because of trivial things, I realize that I may not really love Ji Guanxin.
Only when a woman loves someone she loves to the core, will she be so stingy that she cannot tolerate him making the slightest mistake. This is why we can forgive our friends and family members for the same mistake, but we cannot forgive our lover.
Because love is one-to-one, I can do my best for love, so I cannot tolerate the other person not being wholehearted.
I remember all the kindness Ji Guanxin did to me. He has also moved me to the point of being moved, such as that time he ran to my house wearing a hospital gown and helped me fight off bad guys.
I once selfishly thought that if there was no Luo Xiangdong in my life, then I would definitely fall in love with Ji Guanxin. This is not a comparison of second best, but love does not come first, but one person can be in another person's life. The order of appearance is important.
This is like a person who is drunk first and cannot take you home. It is the same principle.
My heart has already been given to Luo Xiangdong first, so no matter how good Ji Guanxin is to me, I will never be able to give him my whole heart.
I was still full of guilt towards Ji Guanxin, so when he hurt me, I just felt a lot more mentally balanced. I owe him, he hurt me, and then we don't owe each other.
God knows how hard I worked to let go of Ji Guanxin. He didn't appear in front of me for almost a year and there was almost no news from him. I also use the out-of-sight and out-of-mind approach to numb myself. We can all start over.
But now Ji Guanning's phone call made me completely lose all my defenses.
Holding the phone, I seemed to be silent for a few seconds, but the past flashed through me like a tide, and all the past scenes appeared. It turns out that just because I don’t mention it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten it.
Luo Xiangdong also saw the empty look in my shocked eyes. He turned over and sat up, looked at me and said, "What's wrong?"
There was a drowning-like noise in my ears for a short time. I didn't reply to Luo Xiangdong. I just held my phone and asked with a tremor in my voice that I couldn't even detect: "What's wrong with him?"
What's wrong with Ji Guanxin? Why does Ji Guanning use such a terrifying description as "I don't know if I can come out alive."
Ji Guanning replied calmly: "If you want to come over, you can ask Luo Xiangdong and he will bring you here."
I can even imagine the expression on Ji Guanning's face at this moment, which was indifferent without even blinking an eyelash.
After saying that, she hung up the phone.
I still held my cell phone and kept answering the phone. Maybe Luo Xiangdong saw that the screen went black. He reached for the phone, only to find that I was completely stunned.
Luo Xiangdong reached out and touched my face. Luo Xiangdong's eyes were full of probingness and vigilance, and he asked aloud: "Zijin, what's wrong? What happened?"
I was looking at the quilt in front of me. After hearing this, I slowly raised my head and met Luo Xiangdong's eyes.
I asked him: "Xiangdong, what happened to Ji Guanxin?"
Luo Xiangdong: ""
Luo Xiangdong didn't show surprise or dodge on his face, but he actually fell silent.
His silence made my heart twitch inexplicably. I was so scared and felt like I had missed something.
Staring at Luo Xiangdong's face without blinking, I wasn't so scared that I wanted to cry. In fact, my eyes were very dry because it was so sudden that I didn't even have time to brew my emotions.
I asked him: "What happened to Ji Guanxin? Why did Ji Guanning say he was going into the operating room? Why did she ask me to ask you?"
Luo Xiangdong sat next to me. We were both covered with red silk quilts. We looked extremely happy as newlyweds.
He was silent for a long time, and then said calmly: "Ji Guanxin has a heart disease."
A heart attack suddenly appeared on my brow
Luo Xiangdong opened his thin lips and said in a low voice: "I heard that it is congenital tetralogy of Fallot, and the chance of successful surgery is less than 20%."
This time, I clearly felt the taste of a drink.
Why did Ji Guanxin show up at my house late at night wearing a hospital gown? He said it was pneumonia caused by a cold; he had nosebleeds from time to time and even fainted at the airport. Zhang Danqing and others said it was congenital hypotension.
I also went to the Internet to check and found out that congenital hypotension is particularly severe and can lead to nosebleeds.
It turns out that either I was too stupid or Ji Guanxin deceived me too deeply.
I've known him for a year and been separated for a year, but it's only now that I figured out what his illness was.
Frowning, I didn't dare to dwell on the past scenes. I just reached out and lifted the quilt and got out of bed before the tears fell.
When Luo Xiangdong saw this, he followed me down closely.
He called my name from behind me: "Zijin"
I knew what he wanted to say, so I suppressed the emotion that was stuck in my throat and whispered: "Xiangdong, Ji Guanning said that he will enter the operating room today and I am going to Japan."
Luo Xiangdong said quickly: "Okay, I'll go with you."
When I was cleaning up in the bathroom, I heard Luo Xiangdong calling Guan Yue and asking her to book two tickets to Japan as soon as possible. We would arrive at the airport in an hour at the latest.
I bent down to wash my face at the sink, held up a handful of water with both hands and poured it on my face, again and again, and again. Luo Xiangdong came in at some unknown time. He turned the faucet to the left. When the warm water came down, I realized that I had been washing my face with cold water for a long time.
I kept bending over, closed my eyes, and washed my face with water. Luo Xiangdong is standing next to me, I can feel it.
After about a few more minutes, he finally couldn't help but pull my arm to ask me to raise my head. My face was covered with water, and I closed my eyes, but hot tears were about to burst out from under my eyelashes.
Luo Xiangdong said: "I knew early on that Ji Guanxin had a heart disease. Later he went to Japan for treatment. When the news came back to China, I let the media suppress it."
After a pause, he said again: "Do you blame me?"
Is it strange? Who is to blame? Why
I shook my head and tried to open my eyes, which were red because I was holding back tears.
Pulling the tissue aside to blow my nose, I whispered: "Stop talking about this now, let's pack up and go to the airport quickly."
Luo Xiangdong didn't say anything else. We quickly packed up and drove to the airport.
Along the way, the scenes and experiences of Luo Xiangdong's proposal to me last night were shown on the LED screens of major shopping malls and roadside that we passed along the way.
I put my left hand with the diamond ring on my knee. Because I had never worn a ring before, I always wanted to touch the inner ring with my thumb.
At this moment, I no longer think about why Ji Guanxin broke up with me. No matter who is right or wrong in love, it seems so insignificant in the face of life.
I just hope everything goes well now.
When Luo Xiangdong and I arrived at the airport, we directly used our ID cards to collect tickets and then boarded the plane through the VIP channel. During this period, Wei Zheng called Luo Xiangdong, but he might not have found us at the hotel.
Luo Xiangdong held his mobile phone and said calmly: "We are on the plane, going to Japan."
“Why do you suddenly want to go to Japan?”
"Ji Guanxin is having surgery today, and Zijin wants to take a look."
Later, Wei Zheng didn't ask any more questions. I guess everyone in this group knew, but they just hid it from me.
It takes almost four hours to fly from Night City to Tokyo. There were only two of us in the first two rows of the first class cabin. Luo Xiangdong must have been holding it in for a long time, and finally couldn't help but ask: "Are you angry with me?"
I turned my head and looked out the window. The plane had already flown to an altitude of 10,000 meters, and all the white clouds were floating below me, giving people the illusion of being in heaven.
After hearing this, I said after a while: "I'm not angry."
Luo Xiangdong said: "If you say you are not angry, then you are angry."
I didn't respond.
It took Luo Xiangdong a while before he said, "Ji Guanxin wants to save face. He doesn't want you to be with him just because you pity him."
When I heard the word pitiful, my heart suddenly throbbed.
I feel sorry for Ji Guanxin, for his nosebleeds, for his fainting spells, for his often pale face, for his fights, for the fact that he wears such thin clothes despite the cold weather.
I thought feeling distressed was also a kind of liking. After all, I wouldn’t feel distressed just by seeing someone on the street. But in Ji Guanxin's eyes, did he feel pity for him
I turned my head and looked out the window of the plane. Luo Xiangdong looked forward alone and whispered: "I deliberately hid it from you because I didn't dare to gamble. What if you don't want me because of his illness?"