I know that the person who once sang "I Just Like You" will no longer exist. just like you. I can't help it; and I won't love you anymore. This is his choice.
Standing in the corridor of the hospital, watching Ji Guanxin's figure disappear from sight, I really felt the pain of skin-cutting pain. This is not a simple breakup. Most likely the difference between life and death.
Luo Xiangdong came to me at some point. He didn't say anything, he just pressed my head and let me lean into his arms.
Jie Si said that if Ji Guanxin’s operation goes well. It takes at least four hours. You can think of it just from such a long time. How complex the surgery will be.
But for the first time, I felt that the length of the operation was not a problem, even if he did it for fourteen hours or forty hours. As long as the doctor can ensure that he comes out safely and alive, I will wait for him.
Cheng Lin. Zhang Danqing. Mak Jiahui and Zhou Mengyi went to the door of the operating room. Ji Guanxin's family members were all in the ward, while Luo Xiangdong and I were sitting on the bench in the corridor. This wait lasted for several hours.
During this period, Luo Xiangdong took several calls. He sat next to me and answered some of them. I heard that the content of the conversation was Zheng Zeyu and the others, and Luo Xiangdong said that Ji Guanxin was undergoing surgery.
But there were a few calls. After Luo Xiangdong read them, he got up and went to answer them elsewhere. I am now fully focused on Ji Guanxin's surgery and have no time to care about anything else.
At around eight o'clock in the evening, Ji Guanxin's eldest brother and second brother came out of the ward. Seeing that Luo Xiangdong and I were still sitting outside, they asked us to go eat first.
I shook my head: "It's okay, let's wait until Guan Xin comes out."
Ji Guanxin's eldest and second brothers' eyes were all red, and they were crying a lot. Luo Xiangdong said to them: "Don't worry about us, she won't go to eat until Ji Guanxin comes out."
Indeed, in my current mood, let alone food, I can’t even swallow the elixir of immortality given to me.
Doing nothing and simply waiting is already difficult, not to mention the fear that penetrates the bone marrow in the process. I think all of us have the same mood. We hope that time will pass faster, but we also hope that time will not pass so fast, because we are all afraid of the result of waiting until the end.
Luo Xiangdong went all out to propose to me on my birthday last night. You don't have to think about it to know that the domestic news media will explode today. My cell phone almost exploded. I muted it. Only when I saw a call from someone at home did I step aside to answer it.
My mother asked me excitedly on the phone: "Zijin, where are you? Mom saw the news and made me cry so much. You cried so much that your makeup was all gone..."
She was chattering on the other end of the phone, but I couldn't help the sourness in my heart. I gritted my teeth but choked out a sound.
My mother was stunned and then said: "Zijin, what's wrong?"
I burst into tears first, and then said in a trembling voice: "Mom, Ji Guanxin has surgery today..."
My mother immediately asked, "Ah," and then said, "Ji Guanxin? What happened to him?"
I felt extremely fearful and helpless, and said aggrievedly: "He has a serious heart disease, and the doctor said the chance of successful surgery is less than 20%."
I hid in the bathroom, squatting against the wall and covering my face with my hands.
Not to mention how shocked my mother was, she remained silent for a long time before saying, "How could this happen? I've never heard of this child having a heart disease before."
I held the phone and cried loudly. My mother was also choked with sobs. She advised me: "Zijin, don't cry yet. Guan Xin hasn't finished the operation yet. How are you doing now?"
I said, "I don't know."
My mother said, "Why did my right eyelid start to twitch when I woke up today? I was thinking that there could be nothing going on between you and Xiangdong, but I didn't expect that here in Guanxin..."
I cried and said, "Mom, go to my grandmother's house and ask the Buddha for me to bless Ji Guanxin and keep him safe this time. As long as he is fine, I will be a vegetarian for three years, I will donate money to disaster areas and poor children, and I will accumulate virtue throughout my life." Do good…”
I no longer know what to say. I feel so helpless that I can only hope for the gods and Buddhas in the sky.
My grandmother's house is dedicated to Buddha, so my mother quickly said: "I'll go, I'll put on my clothes and go over now. Don't worry, that kid Guan Xin has a good heart, and nothing will happen to him."
After explaining to my mother in tears, I took my phone and squatted in the bathroom crying.
The bathroom door was pushed open. I was afraid that I would scare others again, so I raised my head. Unexpectedly, the person who came in was Zhou Mengyi.
Her eyes, which were also crying, were red and swollen, and their original appearance was almost unrecognizable. At this moment she was standing in front of me, looking down at me.
I wanted to stand up, but my legs were sore and numb after squatting for too long. I had to endure the pain and hold on to the wall before I managed to straighten up.
I don't want to argue with Zhou Mengyi at this time, I just want to avoid it. In the end, Zhou Mengyi spoke first, her voice hoarse and dull, and said: "Liang Zijin, I really hate you!"
I remained silent and planned to pass by her, but she added: "If you didn't show up and look like you were heartbroken, I would still hate you. It's natural for me to hate you. But what does it mean for you to be like this now? You are Want to tell us, do you still care about Ji Guanxin?"
I still didn't speak, and the person had already reached the door of the bathroom.
Zhou Mengyi stared at me with red and swollen eyes and said, "Why can you be happy, but Guan Xin can't?"
Her words turned into a knife and stabbed me hard in the heart.
My raised hand paused, and my chest felt tight, as if I had trouble breathing.
After a long time, I turned around, looked at Zhou Mengyi and said, "He will definitely come out well, and he will be happy in the future."
Zhou Mengyi's tears fell heavily. She looked at me and said, "Liang Zijin, you don't know how much I annoy you, and you don't know how much Ji Guanxin loves you. I told you so cruelly that night in the imperial court. After those words, he fell ill in the private room and was in a coma for several days, almost dying. "
Zhou Mengyi said I don’t know how much Ji Guanxin loves me, maybe I really don’t know.
But she also doesn't know how much I feel sorry for Ji Guanxin. Even if feeling distressed is not love, distressing can still cause harm.
This endless joy has left us all bruised and bruised.
"He said that if he came out alive, he would never love me again."
Zhou Mengyi gritted her teeth and said: "I don't care who he loves now, I just want him to come out alive..."
Live, yes, just live.
We all have only the simplest but most extravagant wish, hoping that Ji Guanxin is still alive.
Zhou Mengyi and I were standing in the bathroom, less than two meters apart. For a long time, we didn't speak, which was completely impossible before.
I don't know how long it took, but I heard a rapid knock on the door outside the bathroom, followed by Luo Xiangdong's voice: "Zijin, are you there?"
I was standing by the door, and the knock on the door really startled me. After a pause, I reached out and opened the door.
Facing Luo Xiangdong's face, which rarely showed panic, my heart skipped a beat.
Sure enough, Luo Xiangdong looked at me and said: "The people coming out of the operating room said that Ji Guanxin's heart blood vessels were torn and he was bleeding heavily..."
As soon as he finished speaking, my eyes turned gray and my ears were ringing.
In a daze, a figure bumped into my shoulder and staggered forward. When my vision returned to normal, I only saw Zhou Mengyi's back.
I also wanted to run out, but my legs were disobedient and seemed to be nailed in place. I grabbed Luo Xiangdong's arm, tried hard to lift a heavy leg, and then ran out with his help.
By the time Luo Xiangdong and I arrived at the door of the operating room, there were already many people standing there. Ji Guanxin's mother was being supported by her two sons, but she looked like she couldn't stand.
Ji Guanning simply squatted on the ground and let her two sisters-in-law bend down and pull her, but she couldn't get up.
Zhou Mengyi grabbed Mai Jiahui's arm and cried: "What's wrong with Guan Xin? What's wrong with him?"
Mak Ka Fai said nothing, and his face turned to the side, his eyes were red.
Zhou Mengyi grabbed Zhang Danqing's arm again and cried: "Brother, tell me what's wrong with Guan Xin, how is he..."
With that said, Zhou Mengyi slid along Zhang Danqing's arm to the ground.
Cheng Lin dragged Zhou Mengyi to his feet, and Zhou Mengyi lay on top of him crying.
Seeing this scene, I seemed to be extremely sad and desperate. Instead, I lost my voice and couldn't cry. I just stared at the silver cold operating door with wide eyes.
Separated by a door, is it really the difference between life and death
We stood outside for almost twenty minutes. The silver operating door opened to both sides, and a young nurse wearing a mask came out. She said in Japanese: "The patient's heavy bleeding has stopped, but the operation time will be extended. Director Ando tells you not to worry yet."
After saying that, the little nurse turned back and closed the door again.
But her words undoubtedly gave us a shot in the arm. I saw Ji Guanxin’s mother leaning on her eldest son at that time, and the children around her were speaking out to comfort him.
This is Ji Guanxin’s struggle on the edge of death, and it is also a battle against pressure that tests our psychological endurance. Ji Guanxin inside had a narrow escape from death, and we were exhausted physically and mentally outside.
Jieji originally said that the operation would only take more than four hours if it went smoothly, but due to a massive bleeding from a blood vessel near Ji Guanxin's heart during the operation, the operation time was extended.
Ji Guanxin entered the operating room at six o'clock in the afternoon. In the blink of an eye, it was already half past eleven at night, but the door of the operating room, which only received Ji Guanxin's one patient today, was never opened again.
Ji Guanxin's two sisters-in-law accompanied Ji Guanxin's mother back to the ward, leaving a group of us waiting outside the door.
There is not enough space for so many people to sit on the bench outside the door. Even if we could sit down, we would not be able to sit together because of our relationship of constant cutting and chaos.
So there were only two benches, one where Ji Guanning and Zhou Mengyi sat, and the other where I sat alone. Including Luo Xiangdong, everyone else was standing.