“I’m not tired…” Qi Zaozao shook her head. Not tired, really not tired.
Are you really not tired
The mental tiredness is greater than the physical tiredness. If you are just mentally tired, you cannot recover by just resting.
Qi Zaozao really wanted to escape now, to escape from everything that was happening now, to hide in a corner, to bury herself, not to see anyone, not to think about anyone, to know nothing, to think about nothing...
Shen Xiaofei reached out and stroked Qi Zaozao's hair. She understood the pain in her heart. Seeing Qi Zaozao like this, she wanted to comfort her, but she didn't know what words to use to comfort her.
Shen Xiaofei took Xuanxuan out to eat, and brought some nutritious food for Xuanxuan and Qi Zao Zao.
Qi Zaozao sat beside Lele's bed, staring at the leaves outside the window, swaying slightly in the wind.
Lele opened his eyes at this time, looked at Qi Zaozao, and called out weakly, "Mommy..."
Qi Zao Zao's eyelids moved, and she lowered her eyes. The moment she saw Lele, the corners of her mouth curved up, and she made herself alert in front of Lele, "Awake? Lele, are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Are you feeling unwell?"
Lele shook his head.
He just looked at Qi Zao Zao, and after a moment he said, "Mommy, where's Daddy?"
Qi Zao Zao was startled, her eyes drooped even lower. She did not answer immediately, but smiled again, then slowly said: "Your dad is busy now..."
"Mommy, do you hate Lele?"
Qi Zao Zao was slightly stunned, her voice became louder and her tone was a little exaggerated, "How is it possible? You are Lele, how could Mommy hate Lele!?"
Lele bit her lower lip, "But mommy, I did something wrong, I did something wrong again, Lele always does something wrong, always makes mommy and daddy worry, Lele is wrong, Lele always makes you worry..."
The little guy actually cried, and his tears slid down like beads with broken strings. "Lele is too willful. In fact, Lele just wants mommy to see Lele more often, and wants mommy to care about me more... I'm scared, because I haven't grown up with mommy since I was a child. I'm scared, and... I also really want mommy to go back to daddy. If she is with daddy, mommy can go back to daddy, is that right? I think so... Mommy, I'm sorry..."
Seeing Lele crying so sadly, Qi Zaozao's nose also felt sore.
She stroked Lele's face, wiped away his tears, and shook her head, "Mommy doesn't blame you, it's not Lele's fault... Mommy knows, Mommy understands..."
Qi Zao Zao's eyes were red.
How could she not know? How could she not understand? Lele was much more sensitive than Xuanxuan. She knew very well that this child longed for more love and had no sense of security. She knew very well in her heart that it was her fault. She did not know how to act properly and said those words to Lele. She was not a good mother.
Lele's little hand touched Qi Zaozao's hand, sobbing, her eyes as red as a little rabbit's eyes.
"Mommy, I thought I didn't have a mommy since I was a child. Later I found out that I did have a mommy. But after I had a mommy, I couldn't see my daddy often. Sometimes Lele thought, it would be great if mommy and daddy could be together. In this way, when the kindergarten teacher asked about it, Xuanxuan and I could proudly say that our mommy and daddy are not divorced, and we live happily together. When drawing, Lele can draw a family..."
Qi Zao Zao's tears rolled down.
"It's Mommy's fault..."
The child is still so young.
Xuanxuan is so sensible and Lele is so sensitive. So many things have happened between her and Pei Yifei, and they are always entangled. She has no way to give her children a stable life.
She is totally unqualified as a mother!
Lele fell asleep while suffering, and Qi Zaozao wiped the tears from her face and went to the bathroom to wash her face.
When she came out of the bathroom, she was about to go back to Lele's room, but at this moment she stopped and turned to walk in another direction.
She walked slowly and hesitantly, but still walked to the vicinity of Amy's ward. Her steps became slower and slower. Nurses and doctors came out of the ward, and Qi took a few steps closer.
The female nurse knew Qi Zaozao and thought that Qi Zaozao was going in, so she didn't close the door and nodded and smiled at Qi Zaozao.
Qi Zaozao also nodded slightly.
The nurse and the doctor walked away.
Qi walked to the door early and stretched out his hand.
At this time, Amy's crying was heard in the ward.
Struggling but unable to struggle, crying in great pain.
"Let me... die..."
"Leave me alone..."
Qi Zao Zao paused and looked through the crack in the door. Amy lying on the hospital bed looked extremely haggard and fragile.
She wanted to get up from the bed, but her legs had no strength at all. She wanted to struggle, but Pei Yifei grabbed her hands.
"Let go... of me..." Amy cried bitterly.
Qi Zao Zao took a step back.
"Amy, calm down—"
"Pei... Yifei, let me go, I want to die!"
“Amy!!!”
“Wooooooooooooooooooo!”
Pei Yifei frowned tightly, his face was still very pale, and he held her arms tightly with both hands!
His eyes, his eyes...
Qi Zaozao's retreating steps couldn't help but move closer.
It was just because she saw a hint of hesitation and struggle in Pei Yifei's eyes.
That kind of struggle and hesitation was extremely rare. At least in Qi Zaozao's opinion, she had almost never seen Pei Yifei show such an expression.
Qi Zaozao didn't know how long she had been standing outside, and Amy seemed to have calmed down, at least much better than before.
Amy lay on the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling with a dull look, while Pei Yifei took a deep breath and sat beside her.
"I will be a useless person from now on... Is that right?"
Pei Yifei raised his eyelids and looked at Amy steadily.
"You don't have to say nice things to comfort me. I know, I can feel it, that I can't walk anymore. I've become a cripple. From now on..."
Her tears rolled down.
Pei Yifei still didn't say anything, but just stretched out his hand and tucked her hair behind her ears.
"I'll send someone to take good care of it..."
Before Pei Yifei finished speaking, Amy's eyes suddenly looked at Pei Yifei, her eyes were red, and the hand that was not receiving the infusion grabbed Pei Yifei's hand.
"I asked for this, didn't I? If I hadn't returned to China, if I hadn't appeared in front of you, if I hadn't met you that year, I wouldn't have known you, Pei Yifei, and so many things wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have become the person I dislike now!"
"Amy!"
"Pei Yifei, don't talk! Don't talk!!! I know that all this is my fault. I was wrong. When I was abroad, I shouldn't have approached you, I shouldn't have known you, and I shouldn't have had such stupid feelings! And An Cheng would not have become the An Cheng of today. He would have his own life, and I would have my own life, and you would have lived a better life..."
Amy's tears flowed even more violently, her face turned pale, and her eyes looked even redder, full of bloodshot.
"It's over..." Pei Yifei's tone was filled with a hint of fatigue.
"Is it over? Is it over? Yes, An Cheng has done so many bad things, he will never get out of this life, and I will have to live in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, for the rest of my life, for the rest of my life..."
Qi Zao Zao, who was standing outside the door, felt a sinking feeling in his heart.
It sank heavily.
"What's the point of living like this?! Tell me, what's the point of me? Pei Yifei..." Amy went to see Pei Yifei, her voice gradually softened, "I think death is more interesting than my life... Yes, now, I feel that I am not fit to live in this world..."
Pei Yifei frowned and grabbed Amy's wrist, "What are you talking about?!"
"I'm not kidding you, nor do I mean for you to feel pity for me. In my opinion, the only destination for me now is death!"
Amy's wrist was squeezed red by Pei Yifei.
Time passes by little by little.
Qi Zao Zao heard Pei Yifei's voice become hoarse.
He is also seen looking at Amy.
He said, "I will take care of you... until the day you find yourself again..."
But Amy smiled, "The day I find myself again? Pei Yifei, what if I say a lifetime? Will you still take care of me for the rest of my life?"
Pei Yifei did not answer, nor did he let go of Amy's hand.
Qi turned around early.
My eyes are sore.
Leave here and go back to Lele.
This is what she tells herself now.
Unexpectedly, Shen Xiaofei's voice rang out.
"Zao Zao, so you are here..."
Shen Xiaofei's voice was neither loud nor soft. Qi Zao-zao paused and wanted to look back at the ward, but she held back and walked towards Shen Xiaofei.
Shen Xiaofei was a little surprised, but after a while, her eyes widened and she looked at Pei Yifei who walked out of the ward beside Qi Zaozao.
Pei Yifei strode up behind Qi Zaozao, and Qi Zaozao then noticed it, but the next second, her wrist was grabbed.
She heard Pei Yifei say, "Follow me—"
Then Pei Yifei pulled her to the hospital's emergency passage.
Pei Yifei let go of his hand, and Qi Zao Zao lowered his eyes and didn't look at him.
"Qi... Early..."
Qi Zao Zao did not respond to him, and both of them fell silent.
After a moment, Qi Zao Zao raised her eyes. Her expression had completely changed. It was indifferent and calm.
"What do you want to say? You brought me to a place like this, do you want to say something important?"
Pei Yifei's brows twitched.
"You know it, don't you?"
"Know what?" Qi Zao Zao raised her eyebrows, as if she had suddenly realized something, "Are you referring to Amy's leg? I know, it's broken! She can't walk anymore, I knew that a long time ago..."
He said this as if he didn't care.
Pei Yifei's eyes suddenly became deep, as if he wanted to see through Qi Zaozao's thoughts. (To be continued)