Compared with whether he likes men, whether this man is Qiu Yi, Bian Nan cares more about whether he likes him or not.
No matter who this person is, male or female, what he wants to know most now is whether he likes it or not.
In this matter, Bian Nan has no comparable feelings. He started to have "girlfriends" in elementary school. Counting those who mess around, there can be a dozen or so, but generally there are several motives for making girlfriends. Big slip.
There was no one who could make him depressed for two days after the breakup, and the only one who was struggling for a while was Zhang Xiaorong, and that was because he hadn't chased after him for a long time.
But there is only so much patience, if it is exhausted, it will be gone, and when you turn around, you will never have any more thoughts.
So he didn't know what he meant to Qiu Yi.
So... I have to ask Wan Fei about this.
Wan Fei must really like Xu Rui, he likes it so much.
"What's it like to like someone?" Bian Nan asked Wan Fei.
"Just thinking about it... always thinking about it," Wan Fei was not good at expressing, and he couldn't understand it for a long time, "When we were not together, I kept thinking about what she was doing, whether she had eaten, whether she was unhappy... "
"Damn," Bian Nan was not satisfied with this answer, "If you put it this way, I like Erbao."
"Oh, that's different," Wan Fei scratched his head, "Er Bao is a child who loves her dearly. What I said is that I think of her immediately when there is something to do. I want to get bored with her and go out I've been thinking about her a lot these days, and I want to make a phone call to hear her voice or something... "
"The first thing I thought of was you when I was on vacation. I have to go to your house to eat and sleep." Bian Nan felt that Wan Fei's words became more and more chaotic.
"Fuck, what if I'm not here?" Wan Fei was helpless.
"...Qiu Yi," Bian Nan frowned, "That's because no one else is free, and I don't want to play games... It's convenient to stay at his house."
"What about the time when there was no Qiu Yi?" Wan Fei chased after him.
Bian Nan opened his mouth and said nothing.
I especially want to give Wan Fei a thumbs up.
Wan Fei's questioning was quite level, causing Bian Nan to fall into deep unease instantly.
Before he got close to Qiu Yi, his life was the same. When he couldn't go to Wan Fei's house, he would go to Internet cafes with his classmates, go to the video game city, hang out on the street, and meet a group of people he didn't know. Meet people you know, see if there is a girl who is pleasing to the eye...
Now all these things that I used to do before are suddenly boring and I don't want to participate.
For him, what's more interesting is... the grape rack in the yard, the small table with the teapot on it, Erbao running around all over the yard, and...
"It's true," Bian Nan stood up, "it's not right."
"Ah?" Wan Fei followed suit and stood up.
"You can fall in love with someone so casually?" Bian Nan clicked his tongue, "Like it just like playing?"
"Do you think you have to put on a show if you like someone?" Wan Fei stood beside him, "Hey! Is that so?"
"You cherish Xu Rui very much," Bian Nan looked at him sideways, "It's rare for a pretty little girl to be so blind that she will fall in love with you."
"Damn, you practiced your bad skills on me." Wan Fei sighed.
The two did not discuss the result.
After training and sending Qiu Yan home, the two of them walked along the road for two hours without going back by car, discussing until Bian Nan was hungry and still couldn't reach a conclusion.
Bian Nan refused to admit that he liked it.
Wan Fei felt that liking someone was not as difficult as he thought.
But from time to time Wan Fei would come back to his senses and stand on Bian Nan's side to deny it together.
In the end, Bian Nan hadn't figured it out yet, Wan Fei couldn't bear it anymore, squatted down on the side of the road, pointed at Bian Nan: "Brother Nan, I'll give you a trick, the last trick."
"Say." Bian Nan looked at him.
"I won't see Qiu Yi from today, and I won't contact him, let's see how I feel," Wan Fei gritted his teeth, and said viciously, "See if I can suffocate to death."
Bian Nan didn't speak, just stared at Wan Fei.
"Why? Don't you dare?" Wan Fei stood up and stared at him, "Is it because he is afraid of knowing the truth or because he just doesn't want to..."
"Okay." Bian Nan said.
Bian Nan felt that this matter was not difficult for him, and he was about to start training. He had to spend time on the court every day. Let alone Qiu Yi, he might not be able to put a stunning beauty in front of him. Have time to think.
However, the actual operation was a little different from what he had imagined.
Qiu Yi will send Qiu Yan to school when he is free.
The white bicycle can be seen from a long distance away, every time Bian Nan squats at the gate of the school, he will have an inexplicable expectation, but when Qiu Yi's car stops in front of him, he will feel uncomfortable all over.
"Big Tiger!" Qiu Yan jumped down from the back seat, rubbed himself on Bian Nan, and ran into the school.
He was already familiar with him in school, so he didn't need Bian Nan to accompany him all the time, he would pester the coach by himself when he got to the stadium.
"That," Bian Nan looked at Qiu Yi, "I'm going to start training right away, and I don't have time to accompany Er Bao. I told the coach that he can continue to practice with the children in the summer class."
"Is it convenient?" Qiu Yi asked him.
"It's okay, I know the coach very well, it doesn't matter if you have another second treasure," Bian Nan rubbed his nose, and saw that Qiu Yi was wearing the bracelet that Bian Xinyu gave him on his wrist, it was really cool, he had nothing to say He said, "Are you wearing it?"
"Well," Qiu Yi smiled and looked at the bracelet, "She always asked if she wore it, so she just put it on."
"...it's pretty nice," Bian Nan nodded, "I'll go in first."
"Okay." Qiu Yi straddled the car with his legs propped up on the ground without moving.
Bian Nan froze for two seconds, then turned and entered the school.
For the next few days until Bian Nan started training, Qiu Yi never sent Qiu Yan off again. Every time, Qiu Yan called Bian Nan, saying that he was getting on the bus, and Bian Nan went to the station to pick him up.
Qiu Yan happily practiced the ball every day, pestered Bian Nan to fight with him when he had nothing to do, and never mentioned Bian Nan going to play at home. I don't know if it was because Wan Fei said that his brother worked hard and asked him to rest It worked.
Bian Nan was a bit empty, stayed at Wanfei's house and when they had free time, they would go around the pagoda, and when they were done, they would fight the landlord.
"Brother Nan," Wan Fei lay on the bed and touched him lightly when he was sleeping at night, "Are you asleep?"
"Didn't you just take sleeping pills and fall asleep right after lying down?" Bian Nan clicked his tongue.
"There is something wrong with you, do you feel it?" Wan Fei whispered.
"En." Bian Nan didn't evade, although he didn't want to admit it, but he didn't see Qiu Yi in the past few days, it was really like he couldn't use his strength.
Wan Fei sighed and didn't speak.
"What do you think?" Bian Nan stared at the moonlight on the wall in the dark, "If I really..."
"I don't want anything," Wan Fei replied quickly, "You just like a donkey..."
"Shut up your sister!" Bian Nan was speechless.
"I don't have anything else to say, I recognize you as a person, no matter what else," Wan Fei insisted on finishing the sentence, and then applauded himself, "I'm so touched, I'm about to cry, Brother Nan, don't you kiss me for a while?"
"I'll kiss your ass!" Bian Nan slapped him on the stomach.
"No fart now," Wan Fei turned his back to him, and slapped his own butt twice, "Is the butt okay?"
"Stupid." Bian Nan couldn't help but laugh.
"You know, I think you may really like... him..." Wan Fei turned back and whispered to him, "If you like someone, your brain will not work very well. If you want to put it aside, you will definitely not let me Grabbing such a big broken butt."
Bian Nan laughed so hard that he almost choked, kicked Wan Fei while coughing, "Shut up, illiterate."
"Flaws, flaws," Wan Fei clicked his tongue and laughed, "Actually, I can read this word when I see it, and when I talk, I always think about my buttocks. You see, I like Xu Rui. The capacity is getting smaller and smaller."
Bian Nan was still laughing and couldn't stop. The two of them had a silly laugh in the dark. They laughed for several minutes before Bian Nan let out a long sigh: "Hey—"
After sighing, the two fell silent at the same time.
Bian Nan raised his arm and pressed it to his eyes, he suddenly felt very scared.
"I'm a little scared," he said.
"Afraid of what?" Wan Fei asked.
"It's quite perverted, how could it be like this?" Bian Nan said in a low voice.
"What's abnormal, don't you just like someone? You don't like who you like." Wan Fei's thinking is simple and clear.
"That's it, if Xu Rui is a man... Forget it, it's incomparable." Bian Nan frowned.
"Even if Xu Rui...is a man, I'm sure he's a beautiful man," Wan Fei quickly digressed, "If Qiu Yi is a woman, he should be very beautiful."
"I've convinced you, you have a big heart, you didn't eat anything in your stomach." Bian Nan was very helpless.
"Then what can I do? Can you worry about this matter? Besides, you are gloomy here... an idiom?" Wan Fei sat up and poked Bian Nan's stomach with his fingers, "You and the sad clouds here Dismal, you don't even know..."
"Yes," Bian Nan also sat up, and this was what depressed him the most, "Even if I like Qiu Yi, so be it, even if I like him, what about him? Fuck, what is this?"
"Didn't you kiss him? How did he react?" Wan Fei tried to analyze for him.
"No response," Bian Nan clicked his tongue, "I guess he didn't react."
"How... how did you kiss?" Wan Fei asked.
"Why? I'm interested. I'll show you a demonstration." Bian Nan moved closer to him.
"Come on," Wan Fei pursed his lips and pouted loudly at him, "Damn it, I'm the one you want to kiss, so there's nothing like that."
Yes, if it was Wan Fei who kissed, there would be no such things.
But it wasn't Wan Fei who he kissed, and Wan Fei didn't make him want to kiss seriously or stick out his tongue.
This is the crux of the problem, even if he doesn't want to admit it, Bian Nan still knows in his heart that there might be something really wrong with him this time.
"Go and ask him." Wan Fei slapped him on the back.
"Don't dare," Bian Nan replied simply, "Do you have cigarettes in your place?"
"Yes," Wan Fei jumped out of the bed, found a pack of cigarettes in a drawer and threw it to him, "You choke as soon as you smoke, and you don't care about asking for cigarettes."
"You don't even know how to smoke and you buy cigarettes." Bian Nan took out a cigarette and lit it, but he didn't smoke, and stared at the blue smoke in the moonlight.
"Brother Nan, this is not your style." Wan Fei stood by the window, "Which girl did you want to see before, and you should have called to make an appointment a long time ago."
"Isn't that nonsense! Is Qiu Yi a girl?" Bian Nan frowned.
"Then what to do!" Wan Fei looked at him.
Bian Nan was silent for a while, then pinched the cigarette and poured it on the pillow: "It's nothing to do, just let it go, don't worry about it, it might be fine after a while."
"You..." Wan Fei clicked his tongue, "Alright, it's up to you."
Ben Nan closed his eyes.
Don't think about it.
Like many things that have happened to me before, it’s okay not to think about it.
Things at home, things about my mother, all kinds of annoying things.
Just don't want to.
who cares.
Qiu Yi was sitting in front of the table, the bedside lamp was turned to illuminate him, Qiu Yan was lying on the bed, already sound asleep.
It was almost 1 o'clock, and he was sleepy, but he didn't intend to sleep.
The little clay figurine in his hand is still a half-finished product. Qiu Yi has been facing this clay for several nights, and the tools Shen Tao gave him are also very handy, but he hasn't cut the knife until now.
In theory, it is not difficult to make a small clay sculpture of Bian Nan. He has already drawn countless sketches, and the prototype in his hand has already taken shape, but he can't calm down.
The knife twirled quickly between his fingers, raising and lowering it, over and over again.
Finally, he got up with a cigarette and went out to the yard, sat down on the recliner under the grape arbor, leaned against the back of the chair, and looked at the faint moonlight among the dense leaves.
After lighting a cigarette, the phone in his pocket rang.
It's a text message from Shen Tao. I sent your phone number to the kid who needs to make up lessons. His mother will call you.
it is good. Qiu Yi replied.
"I knew you weren't asleep yet." Shen Tao called.
"Aren't you asleep too?" Qiu Yi smiled.
"I just came back, so I'm different from you," Shen Tao said, "I said, how about you..."
"No." Qiu Yi interrupted him.
"No, no, no? Do you know what I'm going to say? I'm not trying to stop you." Shen Tao said helplessly.
"You should stop me." Qiu Yi took a puff of cigarette.
"You are really..."
"I'm like this," Qiu Yi frowned, "I can't accept myself like this, I just can't accept it."
"But you to Bian Nan..." Shen Tao wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Qiu Yi.
"Then I can't accept it either, and I don't want anyone to be like me," Qiu Yi pinched his cigarette, "Okay, you can go to sleep, I've been taking care of so much lately."
Shen Tao didn't speak any more and hung up the phone.
Qiu Yi held the phone in a daze for a while, then took out a cigarette and lit a cigarette, looked at the date on the phone, it was not many days until Bian Nan's birthday, he had to hurry up and do it well.
He promised that Bian Nan would give him a gift, and he would definitely give it, even though he had no contact with Bian Nan for more than half a month, and he had never met him.
Even if it's just for this birthday.
"Why do you bring someone else?" Bian Nan looked at Xu Rui and the girl beside her who were walking across the street, and touched Wan Fei with his arm, "Don't tell me it's just you young couple?"
"Perhaps she is afraid that you will feel uncomfortable being a light bulb?" Wan Fei didn't know that Xu Rui was going to bring someone over.
"One bulb is uncomfortable, but two bulbs are not uncomfortable?" Bian Nan saw Xu Rui waving to them, and smiled at her.
"I don't know." Wan Fei laughed twice.
Bian Nan, the girl brought by Xu Rui, looks a little familiar, and she should also be from the health school.
"Miao Yuan, we're in the class next door," Xu Rui introduced the girl next to them, "We've been really bored lately, so we dragged her here together."
"Hi," Miao Yuan Gaozi was quite tall, not pretty, but she was quite majestic, she smiled at Bian Nan, "It can be considered that we can see each other face to face."
"Is it disillusioned?" Bian Nan also smiled, although his girlfriends are all like that, but they still have experience, and it is clear at a glance that Miao Yuan was definitely not called by Xu Rui.
"No, even more handsome," Miao Yuan said with a smile without being shy, "Just call me Miao Miao, Miao Yuan sounds like a boy's name."
"Meow," Xu Rui leaned on Miao Yuan's shoulder and smiled, "Let's go, where can we eat?"
"You guys lead the way." Bian Nan took out his phone and checked the time.
"I want to eat western food, shall we go to eat western food?" Xu Rui pulled Wanfei's arm.
"Okay," Wan Fei nodded, looking at Bian Nan, "Brother Nan will lead the way, he is familiar with these."
"I'm so familiar, I'm..." Bian Nan closed his mouth halfway, and the words I've been eating at Qiu Yi's family almost popped out, "I haven't eaten out for a while."
"Then listen to me? I know a steakhouse is good, but I feel a little greedy when I think about it. Can I go there?" Miao Yuan said.
"Go." Wan Fei waved his hand.
A few people went to the street and stopped a taxi, Bian Nan was thinking about how to sit.
"You go to the front, you have to pay," Xu Rui pushed Wan Fei to the passenger seat, then pulled Miao Yuan into the car, and waved to the south: "Brother Nan, squeeze the back."
Bian Nan smiled, got in the car and sat beside Miao Yuan.
After the car drove away, Miao Yuan told the driver the location, then turned to look at Bian Nan, and whispered, "Shall I check your phone?"
Bian Nan took out the phone and handed it to her, she took it and pressed it a few times, the phone on her body rang, she smiled and returned the phone to Bian Nan: "This is my phone number, it doesn't matter if you save it or not, I just Save your number."
Bian Nan really didn't plan to save it. Although Miao Yuan was quite pleasing to the eye, he wasn't the type he liked.
But Miao Yuan said so, but kept looking at him, so he had to save Miao Yuan's number and write Miao Miao's name.
Miao Yuan was very happy, snapped his fingers, leaned against Xu Rui, and the two girls had a good time.
The restaurant that Miao Yuan mentioned was not close to the school, but it was not far from Bian Nan's home. It was in a district. When he got off the bus, Bian Nan found out that he had been to this restaurant several times.
"It's here. It's delicious and not expensive. My favorite steak!" Miao Yuan pulled Xu Rui, and the two of them walked to the restaurant in front.
"I really want to eat sweet and sour pork." Wan Fei whispered after him.
"You still want to order food when you go out to eat with the girl?" Bian Nan put his arm on his shoulder, "If you want to eat, let's eat tomorrow."
"Then let's go..." Wan Fei suddenly lost his voice in the middle of speaking, and his footsteps also stopped suddenly, "Fuck, is that Bian Xinyu and... Qiu Yi?"
Bian Nan raised his head and looked forward. It was really Qiu Yi and Bian Xinyu. They also turned a corner and followed Xu Rui and Miao Yuan into the restaurant.
"I..." A mess of feelings surged up in Bian Nan's heart, kneading into a ball and flattening it could cover a tennis court.
"Want...to say hello?" Wan Fei was also quite surprised.
"No." Bian Nan said.
While talking, Qiu Yi probably saw Xu Rui, so he turned his head.
His eyes met Bian Nan squarely.
Bian Nan didn't know what expression to put on his face: "Damn."