After Bian Nan finished speaking, the two of them didn't speak any more.
Qiu Yi looked at him quietly, the room was quiet, and the sunlight came in from the window and spread on the table.
"I..." It took Qiu Yi a long time to come back to his senses, and he gently squeezed Bian Nan's shoulder, "I like you too."
Bian Nan didn't speak, just stared at him motionless.
He waited for a while, raised his hand and shook it in front of his eyes: "Asleep?"
"Your uncle," Bian Nan smiled and slapped his hand away, "I'll just reflect on it, the young master hasn't recovered yet."
"Then you... take your time." Qiu Yi smiled, leaned over and kissed.
Bian Nan put his hand on his leg, slowly moved up, circled behind him, paused on his waist, then slid his fingers into his pants, and grabbed his ass through the underwear .
Bian Nan's hands were scorching hot, making his heart tremble.
Qiu Yi was entangled with the tip of his tongue, and slowly put his hand on Bian Nan's waist, and slowly reached down.
Bian Nan's smooth and firm skin was also hot, and the ups and downs brought about by his rapid breathing felt like the top provocation in his palm.
The fingertips gently opened the waistband of the trousers, skimming the flat belly...
"Hmm..." Bian Nan's body tensed suddenly.
"Brother!" Qiu Yan's voice suddenly came from outside the door, and the door lock was slapped immediately.
"Hey!" Qiu Yi was startled, let go of Bian Nan, jumped from the middle of the bed to the foot of the bed, slapped the door lock, and pressed the lock from the inside before Qiu Yan went to twist the lock.
"Big Huzi!" Qiu Yan twisted the door lock and kept knocking on the door while shouting, "Brother!"
"Fuck," Bian Nan jumped to the ground, almost bumping his head into the cabinet. This accident was more exciting than Qiu Yi's kiss. He even admired Qiu Yi's quick reaction, "Fuck..."
Qiu Yi glanced back at him, and reached out to open the door.
"Why is the door locked?" Qiu Yan crawled in, climbed onto the bed directly from the foot of the bed, put his arms around Qiu Yi's neck and sat on him, "Brother, will you take me to school later?"
"Hey, send...of course," Qiu Yi frowned, lifted him and pushed him on his lap, "Sit on your lap."
"Oh!" Qiu Yan responded, and turned his head to look at Bian Nan who was standing aside, "Is Da Huzi going too? I want to go by car."
Bian Nan looked at Qiu Yi's appearance and wanted to be happy, but when he saw Qiu Yan looking over, he quickly sat down on the chair: "Go, I will drive you there, and we will pick you up in the afternoon, and we will go out for dinner together .”
"Okay!" Qiu Yan shouted loudly.
"Be quiet," Qiu Yi patted his face, "Is Dad asleep?"
"Father is asleep, I closed his door," Qiu Yan said, and touched Qiu Yi's back again, "Brother, aren't you cold?"
"Cold," Qiu Yi picked him up and threw him aside, got out of bed and walked to the cabinet, "I just said to find some clothes..."
Bian Nan glanced at Qiu Yi, rubbed his nose, and just when he was about to look away, he saw a long scar on Qiu Yi's stomach.
"Damn," Bian Nan couldn't help reaching out to touch it, "It's going to leave a scar..."
"Brother..." Qiu Yan over there suddenly cried out.
"What's wrong with Er Bao?" Bian Nan was taken aback, and quickly stood up and hugged Qiu Yan.
"Scared," Qiu Yi casually took out a long-sleeved T-shirt from the cabinet, "How old is this man, cry for five minutes, I'll pinch the watch for you."
Bian Nan followed Qiu Yan's line of sight and saw that Qiu Yi also had a knife wound on his left rib.
"It's not scary," Bian Nan clicked his tongue and wiped the tears from Qiu Yan's face, "This is distressing, isn't it, Erbao?"
Qiu Yan nodded while lowering his head and rubbing his eyes.
"Brother is fine." Qiu Yi put on his clothes, propped his arms on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss Qiu Yan's face.
Bian Nan was stunned for a moment, and then thought about it. When Qiu Yi leaned over, he actually thought that Qiu Yi was going to kiss himself...
Qiu Yi probably noticed his embarrassment at this moment, and glanced at him with a smile: "Let's go, send Erbao to school."
Bian Nan took the car keys, knocked his shoulder on the courtyard door when he went out, frowned and gritted his teeth for a long time.
"Do you have any problems with driving?" Qiu Yi couldn't help asking after following.
Bian Nan turned around and gave him a hard look: "No problem! Stop talking so much nonsense!"
"Oh." Qiu Yi smiled.
Qiu Yan held Bian Nan's hand with his schoolbag on his back and dragged him forward desperately, shouting excitedly as he walked: "Where are we going to eat at night? Barbecue?"
"You can have a barbecue if you want," Bian Nan said, "Let's find a farmhouse and we can eat it, the kind with a ready-made stove..."
"Is there a tent?" Qiu Yan asked.
"No, why are you staring at the tent, why don't I give you the tent from last time," Bian Nan said helplessly, "You can sleep in the house."
"Okay!" Qiu Yan shouted.
Qiu Yan's excitement probably couldn't be overcome, his brother finally came home, and Da Huzi drove him to school, and he kept lying on the window of the car, shouting when he saw classmates he knew along the way.
When they finally arrived at the school gate, there were four children in the car with him, including Fang Xiaojun, whom Bian Nan looked down on the most.
Several little boys who were too old for a dog were yelling and making noises in the back seat, Bian Nan's head was about to explode.
"Okay, get out of the car quickly," Qiu Yi turned his head in the passenger seat, "You guys are so noisy, get out of the car quickly."
"Will you pick me up this afternoon?" Qiu Yan asked worriedly.
"Go." Bian Nan nodded.
"Then shall we also take the car in the afternoon!" Fang Xiaojun immediately asked.
"You're beautiful," Bian Nan pointed at him, "If it wasn't for Qiu Yan's face, you wouldn't have even thought about getting in the car just now, get out!"
"What's the big deal!" Fang Xiaojun yelled and jumped out of the car, "Broken car! Let's see how proud you are!"
"Fuck!" Bian Nan gritted his teeth and opened the door to get out of the car.
"What are you doing?" Qiu Yi pulled him back, "Are you going to get out of the car and fight with an 8-year-old kid?"
"I don't understand," Bian Nan closed the car door, "This kid lied to Qiu Yan for money, and also wanted to lie to him for toys. If he didn't find out, he might have lied to something. Just look at it like this?"
"You can worry too much," Qiu Yi smiled, and after a while he leaned on the seat and stretched, "He made friends by himself, and he has to see clearly. Before that, we No matter what he does, it is 'interfering with his right to make friends'. After seeing it clearly, what method he chooses to deal with, whether to break up the relationship, or to be cautious and continue to play together, this is his own decision... "
"Hey!" Bian Nan shouted, "What a mess, he is eight years old, do you think he can figure it out!"
"I will always understand. Some things, it is better to suffer once and remember for a lifetime than to be protected all the time." Qiu Yi put down the window of the car, touched a cigarette and lit it, "Are you going to wait here for Er Bao to leave school?"
Bian Nan started the car and drove for a while before asking, "Go home?"
"Whatever," Qiu Yi smoked, "you can go wherever you want."
"En." Bian Nan drove the car onto the main road, but did not drive in the direction of Qiu Yi's house.
Twenty minutes later, the car stopped beside a park in the middle of the street.
There is a small tea bar in the park, and there is a glass corridor next to the lake. It is very comfortable to sit in the corridor and bask in the sun and look at the lake.
Bian Nan sat down and asked for a pot of Tieguanyin. He didn't know much about tea, and his father was drinking this recently, so he ordered some snacks casually.
After the waiter put down the tea and snacks, he and Qiu Yi were left in the corridor. The tables, chairs and wooden floor were filled with the afternoon sun, which made people feel lazy.
In the sunlight, Qiu Yi's hair shone with a faint golden light like his eyes, and Bian Nan's heart beat every time he looked at the perfectly contoured face drawn by the sunlight.
He stood up and sat beside Qiu Yi, and they sat facing the lake together.
"I think," Bian Nan thought for a long time, "today is like a dream."
"En." Qiu Yi took a sip of tea from his teacup, squinting his eyes and looking at the lake.
"Then what..." Bian Nan rubbed his nose, not knowing what to say, "Just, what you... said, is it true?"
"Which sentence?" Qiu Yi glanced at him, "I said a lot today."
"Don't be fucking stupid." Bian Nan clicked his tongue.
Qiu Yi smiled: "How can you tell a lie about this kind of thing."
"How could it be like this?" Bian Nan stared at the lake, looked around again, and gently squeezed Qiu Yi's hand, "This is too coincidental..."
"Really," Qiu Yi leaned back and leaned against the back of the chair, "If you don't want to do it all over again, I'll call you a pervert, and then fight."
"It's late," Bian Nan said with a smile, and after a while he turned around and leaned sideways, looking at Qiu Yi, "Then you are... well, how should I put it, I really didn't expect you to like... a man."
Qiu Yi smiled, raised his hand to cover the sun on his face, and said after a while: "What made you have this illusion?"
"Huh?" Bian Nan was taken aback.
"I've never liked girls." Qiu Yi said softly.
Yes, never.
Qiu Yi no longer remembers when he realized that he was different from others.
First primary school? Or earlier.
When the children in the alley were playing house together, the little girls were all vying to be his bride, but he was very resistant all the time. He had the feeling that he wanted to hide from the little girl who fought the most fiercely, so that Now I am worried that she will shout "I'm in the bridal chamber" and rush over.
He is not interested in pretending to be a bridegroom, he would rather be a martial arts master walk the rivers and lakes to see injustices and draw swords to help...
Later, I gradually became sensible.
Probably when he was in junior high school, he dreamed of a physical education teacher for the first time in his dream, and when he woke up sweating profusely, he felt scared.
And the impulse towards men again and again made him realize that he was different from other boys around him, and at the same time, he had a deep loathing for himself.
Disgusted to the extreme.
He even thought about going to a psychiatrist secretly, wondering if it was because his mother's death had affected him too much.
Everyone has their own secrets that they don't want to reveal to others. Bian Nan's secrets are his embarrassing identity and complicated family relationship.
As for him, it was his sexual orientation that had made him struggle for many years.
For so many years, even after Shen Tao knew about it, he said that although he could not accept it, as a best friend, he could understand it, and even Shen Tao "understood", but he still couldn't face himself like this.
"Xiao Yi, why are you so young, grow up quickly, mother really wants to see your daughter-in-law and your child, she is so anxious to death."
His mother's sunny smile and unproficient Chinese seem to be engraved in his heart.
For a long time, he didn't dare to recall, thinking of any plot related to his mother would be full of pain because of his own sexuality.
Mom never asked him anything.
"It's enough for the child to be happy, and mother is happy when she sees you smiling." Mother looked at him with her chin in her hands.
The sudden bad news left my mother with only joking expectations.
Liking men makes him feel strongly guilty.
"Why?" Bian Nan's voice rang in his ears.
He withdrew his thoughts, his eyes that had been staring at the lake were a little bit astringent, he pressed his eyes and turned his head: "Why?"
"Why... would you like..." Bian Nan cleared his throat, "Me?"
"Because it's stupid enough to be bullied." Qiu Yi said without thinking.
"Your uncle!" Bian Nan laughed, "I'm serious."
"Why do you like me?" Qiu Yi asked him back.
"Beautiful," Bian Nan gave him a thumbs up, "You are so beautiful."
Qiu Yi smiled and raised his middle finger at him: "I didn't realize you were so superficial."
"Visual animals, do you dare to say that it's not because I'm handsome that you notice me?" Bian Nan clicked his tongue a few times, "You notice it first, then you come later."
"Later," Qiu Yi picked up the teapot and poured a cup of tea, "This tea is pretty good."
"Later, I realized that you were not that annoying." Bian Nan thought for a while, "You know, the more you hate a person, the more you will pay attention to it. After a long time, you will understand more than ordinary classmates and friends. When you find this When people don't hate it as much as they imagined, it's... too late."
"For example, Pan Yifeng." Qiu Yi suddenly laughed.
"Damn, that person is more annoying than I imagined!" When Bian Nan thought of Pan Yifeng, he immediately had the urge to go to the detention center with a big knife and chop people up, "I didn't even bother to inquire about it, he was stabbed. What's up?"
"The injury appraisal is minor..." Before Qiu Yi could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Bian Nan.
"Wait," Bian Nan took a sip of his tea, took another bite of a small cake, "we digress."
"Oh," Qiu Yi looked at him, "What is the topic?"
"It's your turn, why?" Bian Nan asked.
Qiu Yi didn't say a word, Bian Nanhui was so stubborn about "Why do you like me", although it didn't suit his carefree personality, but Qiu Yi could understand.
No sense of security.
Bian Nan just looks carefree, careful, sensitive, and perhaps suspicious.
And... don't believe in love.
Such a person suddenly found himself in love with a man.
It's not so easy to settle down and take "I like a guy and this guy likes me by coincidence" as a matter of course.
"Handsome." Qiu Yi thought for a while.
"Fuck, can you not follow my prompt?" Bian Nan ate the cake in one bite.
"I haven't finished." Qiu Yi looked at him.
"Go on." Bian Nan pinched his teacup.
"He's handsome in playing ball, and handsome in fighting," Qiu Yi said slowly, and the memories from the first time he met Bian Nan flashed through his mind, "The gangster is also handsome..."
"Since when did I become a hooligan? That's Wan Fei. Did you forget about it?" Bian Nan interjected.
Qiu Yi put his fingers up on his lips: "Don't talk."
"Oh." Bian Nan replied.
"You are very kind, and your temper is not as bad as others imagined." Qiu Yi looked at him, "I didn't have any special feelings for you at first, but you are really... gentle to Erbao."
"You're jealous," Bian Nan laughed, pointing at him, "If you really want Er Bao to be a little girl, now maybe it really doesn't matter to you."
"Don't interrupt me," Qiu Yi smiled, "I don't know what to say if you interrupt me... In fact, I don't have anything to say. I didn't want to like you at first, but then I liked you. I didn't think about it at first." Speak up, and now you're speaking up, that's all."
"Well," Bian Nan looked at him and thought for a while, "it's probably like this. I really can't give a detailed reason for this kind of thing."
The two continued to drink tea facing the lake.
"By the way," Bian Nan went to the toilet and came back, and ordered another snack, "My dad would like to treat you to a meal, so it's a formal thank you."
"Thank me for what?" Qiu Yi asked.
"Thank you for taking that knife for me," Bian Nan felt uncomfortable when he thought about it, and he didn't dare to look back for the past two months, "You don't know how I felt when I woke up in the hospital , I just want to find you and ask you face to face if you are sick."
"There's nothing to be thankful for." Qiu Yi said indifferently.
"Then tell my dad, if you don't go, he might come to your house with a gift," Bian Nan clicked, "My dad is just like that, besides, I have to thank you."
"Huh? Do you want to thank me too?" Qiu Yi smiled, "Thank you, how can you thank me?"
"You can say whatever you want," Bian Nan looked at him, feeling a little uneasy after a while, "Why are you smiling so maliciously?"
"I've been laughing like this all the time," Qiu Yi still smiled, "You don't know what's going on in your heart, you can see the problem when you see people laughing."
"Really?" Bian Nan stared at him for a while, then whispered, "Hey, Qiu Yi."
"Huh?" Qiu Yi responded.
"I want to kiss you." Bian Nan lowered his voice and moved closer to him.
Qiu Yi looked back into the tea bar room, and quickly kissed Bian Nan on the mouth.
Before he sat upright, Bian Nan had already chased him with the back of the chair and kissed him on the mouth, and even touched the corner of his mouth lightly with the tip of his tongue.
"Do you feel anything?" Bian Nan asked softly.
"Huh?" Qiu Yi picked up the teacup, "It's very comfortable."
"Don't... what else?" Bian Nan asked again.
"Do you want to ask if I have any reaction?" Qiu Yi glanced at his crotch while drinking tea.
Bian Nan clicked his tongue: "Yes, is there any?"
"It's strange if you don't," Qiu Yi said, "That's a question too."
Bian Nan suddenly laughed, put his legs on the railing and laughed for a long time.
"What are you laughing at?" Qiu Yi squeezed his hand.
"I just want to laugh for a while," Bian Nan raised his hand and looked at the sunlight shining through his fingers, "Do you know that feeling, having an unhappy dream all night and suddenly waking up, it was just a dream, It’s a dream, it’s the feeling of being suddenly relaxed and happy.”
"Really." Qiu Yi smiled, raised his hand and put his arm on the back of the chair behind Bian Nan, and gently pinched his earlobe with his fingers.