Qiu Yi didn't know why he was saying sorry, whether it was because of his attitude towards Bian Nan, or because of his mentality that he couldn't explain clearly.
He didn't know how Bian Nan understood this sorry.
Sometimes Bian Nan has a big heart, but sometimes he is very careful. Qiu Yi is not sure if he feels it, but now he has no way to ask.
After he finished saying sorry, Bian Nan just remained silent for a while, rubbed his forehead against his chest, and said: "Today you said sorry several times."
"Really?" Qiu Yi said.
"En." Bian Nan rubbed his back lightly, pushed him away and lay back on the bed, "I'll take a nap for a while, are there still two students this afternoon?"
"Well," Qiu Yi smiled, "You..."
"Oh, by the way, clothes." Bian Nan sat up again, took off the clothes on his body, and then lay back on the bed and pulled the quilt over, "If I don't wake up when you leave, you must wake me up. Don’t call me if you dare to go by yourself, be careful I will beat you.”
"Okay." Qiu Yi said.
Bian Nan didn't know if he was really sleepy, so he closed his eyes and didn't speak or move.
Qiu Yi stood beside the bed for twenty minutes, and after hearing that his slow breathing was indeed falling asleep, he stretched his legs, took the cigarette case and walked out of the room.
Qiu Yan still couldn't hold back and ran to his father's house, wearing a mask and staying two meters away from his father, the two of them didn't know what TV they were watching, and laughed happily.
Qiu Yan's laughter was crisp and contagious, and he couldn't help but twitch the corners of his mouth to have fun together.
It was quite windy in the yard, after he lit a cigarette, he took a chair and sat under the wall.
If everyone knew about it, they wouldn't be so nervous.
Bian Nan's unintentional words kept turning in his mind.
cannot.
no.
... dare not.
Qiu Yi took a deep breath on his cigarette.
He likes Bian Nan, there is no need to confirm this.
But this kind of feeling in his heart, which is similar to the betrayal of his mother, has been weighing him down a bit.
Recently, the number of dreams about my mother has gradually increased.
Every time he wakes up in the middle of the night with cold hands and feet.
Even this state of dreaming that his mother would change from missing to waking up made him feel painful.
sorry. to mom.
sorry. To the south.
sorry…
"Brother," Qiu Yan ran into the yard at some point, and was looking at him with eyebrows furrowed, and said softly, "You're smoking again."
"You want to pee?" Qiu Yi looked at him with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Well," Qiu Yan ran up to him, "stop smoking."
"Go pee, I'll pinch you when you come out after peeing." Qiu Yi said.
"Are you in a bad mood?" Qiu Yan asked while running to the toilet.
"Huh?" Qiu Yi was stunned, not in a bad mood, but if there is something in his heart, it will be so obvious that even elementary school students can see it
"I usually tell you not to smoke, but you will throw it away immediately." Qiu Yan ran into the toilet.
Qiu Yi looked at the cigarette in his hand, smiled and pinched it, and threw it into the trash can.
After going to the bathroom, Qiu Yan ran back to his father's room, and Qiu Yi followed him in: "If you're going to be sleepy, sleep on Dad's bed for a while."
"Oh." Although Qiu Yan didn't want to sleep, it was obvious that the biological clock didn't cooperate, so he took off his clothes and lay down on the bed.
"Da Huzi is still going to class with you this afternoon?" Dad turned down the TV and asked.
"Well, he has nothing else to do anyway." Qiu Yi said.
"Does he also want to make up lessons for others?" Dad thought for a while, "Why don't you introduce a student to him."
"Come on, do you think he looks like someone who can usually pass?" Qiu Yi said with a smile.
Dad thought for a while and laughed: "It doesn't look like him, but he is quite smart."
"It's useless to the right place," Qiu Yi straightened the blanket on his father's lap, "Once a person has a retreat, whether it is a retreat you are willing or unwilling to accept, he will not use all his strength. He has grown up since he was a child. I guess I haven't thought about these things."
"Aren't you retreating?" Dad squinted at him.
"Where are we going, toward you?" Qiu Yi smiled, "Then we will starve to death together."
"Oh," Dad flicked his forehead and coughed a few times, "You still have no mercy when you run on your dad."
"Did you go to bed late at night these days?" Qiu Yi said, "You cough a lot, it's cold now, don't worry me."
"Well, I see, I'll pay attention." Dad nodded.
After chatting with Dad for a few more words, Qiu Yi heard Nan's cell phone ringing in the living room.
Guessing that Bian Nan was so sleepy that he couldn't hear him, he hesitated for a moment, went to the living room, picked up Bian Nan's bag, and probed into the room: "Bian Nan, your phone is ringing."
Bian Nan covered half of his face under the quilt and remained motionless.
Qiu Yi waited for a while, but the phone was still ringing, so he had to take it out of his bag.
Miao Miao.
Qiu Yi felt that the name sounded familiar.
Miao Miao
After putting the phone back in the bag, he remembered that Xu Rui had mentioned this name during the barbecue that day.
Qiu Yi can still remember the phone numbers saved in Bian Nan's old cell phone phone book. The girl's names are basically all code names, and there is no serious name. This is the first time I see not only a name, but also a nickname.
Qiu Yi entered the room, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at Bian Nan's profile.
Suddenly I felt a little emotional, and a little unspeakably depressed.
In the past ten years or so, Bian Nan probably never thought about the word homosexuality, let alone thinking that one day he would have something to do with a man.
If you don't have yourself...
Maybe he will find the girl he really likes according to the track he has always been on.
Maybe it was some girl who would let him save nicknames on his phone.
…
Thinking of this, Qiu Yi suddenly felt a little cold sweat on his body.
Qiu Yi, are you still too impulsive
Facing Bian Nan for an indeterminate amount of time, and he didn't know what he was thinking, the phone beeped lightly on the table, it was a reminder of the afternoon make-up class, Qiu Yi then moved, stretched out his hand Looked through the phone.
"Bian Nan," he stretched his legs towards the bed, and kicked Bian Nan through the quilt, "get up."
Bian Nan didn't move, he kicked it a few more times, Bian Nan hummed impatiently and turned over, and didn't move again.
Qiu Yi stood up, leaned into his ear and said, "I'm leaving."
"Huh?" Bian Nan replied in a daze, opened his eyes, and muttered, "Believe it or not, I beat you."
"You won't be late if you go out in fifteen minutes," Qiu Yi kissed him on the tip of his nose, "Get up."
"Well," Bian Nan got up fairly quickly, and when he spoke, he lifted the quilt and sat up. Everything was cleaned up within two minutes. He glanced at Qiu Yi, "You haven't slept for a while?"
"No, I'm not sleepy," Qiu Yi walked out of the room, "Someone called you just now."
"Who is it?" Bian Nan followed with a small step, grabbed his towel and ran to the yard to wash his face, gasping for air while washing, "Fuck... hiss... so fucking cold..."
"I took a look, the name is Miao Miao," Qiu Yi said, "There is hot water in the kitchen."
"No, I woke up this time." Bian Nan turned off the water, shook his head and raised his eyebrows, "Are you handsome?"
"... so handsome." Qiu Yi said while pinching his throat.
"Stupid." Bian Nan laughed at him for a long time.
When the two of them were walking towards the bus stop, Bian Nan took out his mobile phone and called Miao Yuan back: "I'm sleeping at noon, what can I do?"
"Oh my god," came Miao Yuan's pleasantly surprised voice, with a bit of embarrassment, "The male god can still call me back, what a surprise!"
"Why don't you take some medicine first." Bian Nan said.
"Actually, I'm fine. Just, I haven't consoled you since you were injured. Let's make a phone call." Miao Yuan said with a smile.
"I'm fine now, isn't it a bit late to offer condolences now." Bian Nan smiled.
"Hey, I'm not embarrassed. Besides, I don't have a lot of classmates and friends in front of me. I'm afraid you won't be able to handle it, so I'll go to the back row." Miao Yuan was a little embarrassed to hear the voice, but the words were quite can say.
"Thank you." Bian Nan thought this girl was quite interesting.
"Hey, why are you being polite, I didn't send you a condolence item," Miao Yuan laughed, "Are you outside? I won't waste your time. We will talk again next time."
"Okay." Bian Nan smiled and hung up the phone.
The bus came, and the two of them squeezed into the bus, but there was still no seat, and they squeezed next to the back door.
"Who is Miao Miao?" Qiu Yi asked in his ear.
"Xu Rui's little sister," Bian Nan said, "it's called Miao Yuan, you met her last time when you had dinner with Bian Xinyu..."
"Didn't look closely," Qiu Yi glanced at him, "I didn't even look at you that time."
"Fuck," Bian Nan clicked his tongue, and he felt unbearable when he thought of the tormented days, "Anyway, it's just that girl."
"It's Miao Yuan," Qiu Yi smiled, "My nickname is Miao Miao?"
"I don't know, I call her Miao Miao anyway, she said Miao Yuan sounds like a man..." Bian Nan stopped halfway through speaking, turned his face to stare at Qiu Yi, "Hey, Dabao."
"Huh?" Qiu Yi looked out the window.
A smile slowly appeared on the corner of Bian Nan's mouth, he approached him, and lowered his voice: "You're jealous."
"No." Qiu Yi still looked out the window.
"You're so insincere," Bian Nan laughed, pointing at him, "You're just jealous."
"Just not," Qiu Yi turned to look at him, "very sincere."
"It's okay if you don't, I'll save you some face." Bian Nan said with a smile.
Are you jealous
A little bit.
Not counting the girls whose names were randomly made up because they couldn't remember their names, Miao Miao was the only nickname in Bian Nan's phone contacts besides Da Bao and Xiao Curly Hair.
Jealousy is a wonderful thing.
But he didn't admit it, even if Bian Nan was sure, he wouldn't admit it.
Although he didn't know what it meant.
It's just that the feeling of plunging headlong into it scares him. Apart from his mother, he is also afraid that Bian Nan will be hurt.
He was still too impulsive, he must have been dazed by longing during the two months he stayed in the detention center, so he didn't care about it, and didn't think about Bian Nan at all.
In the afternoon, there were two little girls who made up lessons, and they lived in two neighboring communities, so Qiu Yi arranged for them to be on the same day, and after finishing the lessons here, they could walk to the other house in ten minutes.
Different from the one in the morning, the little girl's parents were both at home. Hearing that Bian Nan was also planning to make up lessons for others, he warmly brought out fruits and snacks and entertained him to sit down.
Then it became uncomfortable. The little girl's parents were too nervous about her daughter's study, and they had to watch every remedial class. So during the two hours of remedial class time, the three parents of the little girl in Nanjia sat around the little girl and Qiu Yi's side.
Sitting there was as painful as sitting on a broken glass stubble, and even staring at Qiu Yi couldn't relieve it.
What surprised him was that Qiu Yi was quite relaxed, and the state of lecturing to the little girl was no different from that in the morning. Bian Nan admired it. If it were him, his parents would stare at each other for two hours, and his tongue might not be straight. up.
The little girl in the second family is similar, the enthusiastic mother appears every ten minutes, and the tea and water delivery person always stares at Qiu Yi's face for a while, while Bian Nan sits on the side of the glass stubble, keeping a smile on her face , lest people think he is not a good person.
When he walked out of the community after making up lessons, Bian Nan waved his arms vigorously: "Damn it, it's too hard, why didn't you tell me that these two families are like this."
"Little girl, isn't it normal for parents to be nervous." Qiu Yi patted him on the back.
"Why? Are you afraid that you will seduce the little girl?" Bian Nan was stunned for a while, then slapped his chest, "Damn, Teacher Qiu's boyfriend is still on the sidelines, so it's his turn to seduce their girl!"
Qiu Yi smiled and looked around, but didn't speak.
"Hey," Bian Nan clicked, "Why are you nervous? Even if someone heard it, would anyone know who Teacher Qiu is?"
"No." Qiu Yi reached out and pinched the back of his neck lightly.
"I'm Teacher Qiu's boyfriend!" Bian Nan raised his voice and looked at Qiu Yi provocatively, "How is it?"
"Non-minded." Qiu Yi laughed.
"Hey," Bian Nan stretched, "Shu Tan!"
During the three-day holiday on New Year’s Day, Bian Nan did not land once and followed Qiu Yi to participate in all the remedial activities. After three days, I felt more painful than usual in class. I listened to Qiu Yi patiently lecturing the students over and over again, and then I had to rush to the evening He didn't know whether to feel distressed or admired when he went to work in the restaurant.
I didn't feel it intuitively before, but now I can re-experience Qiu Yi's busy life again.
Compared with myself, my life is extremely corrupt.
Years ago, Qiu Yi had been very busy. He had to take exams, and there were other certificates to take. The two of them spent much less time seeing each other. Most of the time they met was "so boring". Qiu Yi chatted with him while reading a book.
He fell asleep while chatting, and Qiu Yi was still reading when he woke up.
"Why am I so free?" Bian Nan frowned, "Do you think I should also find a place to work?"
"What kind of job do you want to do after Chinese New Year?" Qiu Yi took a sip of coffee, "If you really feel free, I'll show you the way."
"Finger." Bian Nan sat up.
"Talk to your coach and ask him to take you around first, and say that you can help if you have time," Qiu Yi said, "You can also go to see it during the winter vacation."
"Huh? Haven't started the internship yet." Bian Nan was taken aback for a while.
"Are you planning to go there for an internship?" Qiu Yi smiled.
"Yes, I still want to stay." Bian Nan said.
"Then show yourself first, familiarize yourself with the environment, and see which coach you are with. It's always right to be active and make a good impression. You won't be just an intern by then, right?" Qiu Yi stretched out his hand Touching his face, "Anyway, you are idle if you are idle."
"It makes sense," Bian Nan thought for a while, "It makes sense, I'll talk to Lao Jiang in the afternoon."
"Well, if you want to do it, do it well, how many people in Zhanfei want to go, you should be more careful," Qiu Yi packed up the books, "If you can't stay here, you have to follow Bian Hao. "
"Hey, I won't go." Bian Nan clicked his tongue.
"Then you have no way out now, you must do well." Qiu Yi said.
"Well," Bian Nan nodded, and after thinking about it, he moved to Qiu Yi's side again, "Hey Dabao, I feel like you are like my dad, and my dad never told me about this."
"Then call it out." Qiu Yi laughed.
"You are beautiful!" Bian Nan quickly kissed him on the cheek.
When Bian Nan asked Lao Jiang about this, Lao Jiang was quite surprised and looked him up and down: "Did the sun come out from the southwest side? Bian Nan would take the initiative to make such a request?"
"The eighteenth male college has changed." Bian Nan laughed twice.
"Okay, let me tell someone, I will take you there to play first in two days," Lao Jiang patted him on the shoulder, "I talked to your dad on the phone, he doesn't like you to go to Zhanfei, are you going to go to Zhanfei with him? Where is he competing?"
"No," Bian Nan scratched his head, "This is my own business, isn't it? I just want to do it well."
"It's a little uncomfortable to be so mature all of a sudden," Lao Jiang said with a smile, "wait for my call."
Although Lao Jiang was cruel and inhumane during the training, he still cared about the students. He got in touch with him within two days and took him there on weekends.
"In a while, I will pass by Lao Jiang. Why am I a little nervous? I haven't been very nervous in my life for more than ten years." Bian Nan called Qiu Yi while waiting for Lao Jiang, "Why? Are you nervous about going to another club?"
"It's probably because you haven't done anything serious in your life." Qiu Yi said.
"Fart," Bian Nan scolded, "Aren't you going to comfort me?"
Qiu Yi laughed: "What's the comfort? I don't know why you're nervous. Do you know that you don't need to talk, you wear sportswear, and when you hold the beat in your hand, your whole person is different. You have a unique style."
"Really?" Bian Nan smiled, "Then I'm relieved, I'm afraid I won't be able to hit the beat then."
"Hey," Qiu Yi sighed, "Did you put your IQ on your shoes when you tied your shoes? I mean, if you stand in that atmosphere, you don't need to talk, it looks like that..."
"Got it, fuck it," Bian Nan clicked his tongue, "Qiu Dabao, you're so fucking bad."
"Go ahead, call me when you're done." Qiu Yi said.
"Okay," Bian Nan kissed the phone, "Did you hear that?"
Qiu Yi kissed him back there.
Lao Jiang drove him to Zhanfei, and told him a lot along the way. The coach's surname was Shi, and he was his buddy. He used to play very well in competitions, but later retired to become a coach because of a shoulder injury. Yes, just follow him and talk less and work more. If he tells you to go east, you can go east, if he tells you to go west, you can go west, neither southwest nor northwest...
Bian Nan looked out the car window, and the more he listened, the more confused he became. He couldn't help interrupting Lao Jiang: "Stop talking, just say you are scary or he is scary."
Lao Jiang frowned and thought for a long time: "He is gentler than me."
"That's fine," Bian Nan snapped his fingers, "I can handle it with you, and there will be no problem with him."
As soon as the car arrived at the gate of the club, Lao Jiang pointed to the two people standing at the gate: "That's him."
After getting out of the car, Bian Nan took a look, and there were two of them, one was wearing a tracksuit and the other was wearing jeans, it should be the one in the tracksuit.
"I brought them." Lao Jiang went over to greet the sportswear.
"Coach Shi." Bian Nan asked politely, and the sportswear glanced at him and nodded.
This coach Shi looked in his thirties, his face was a little cold, and the smile disappeared when he turned to look at Lao Jiang after smiling.
"I'll call you when I'm done working at night." Coach Shi said to the people around him.
"Okay," the man turned around and was about to leave, he glanced towards Bian Nan and stopped, "Bian Nan?"