I can't tell.
Yi Chen and I are probably like this.
Zhao Mosheng probably didn't have time to mention what I said to Yi Chen, because Yi Chen never mentioned it.
And I don't have the courage to say it again.
I am content with the status quo, and now it seems that I have returned to the past. Although there is no further progress between us, there is not one more person.
In fact, I am very cowardly, I dare not take the initiative to pursue anything, I only hope that one day he will look back.
It's just that the loneliness is getting stronger and stronger.
I'm nice to everyone, so I don't have any good friends. After Zhao Mosheng left, no one invited me to go shopping, no one enthusiastically cheered me on after I tried on clothes, and no one informed me that my birthday was coming a month in advance...
In a trance, I felt that I actually liked this friend too.
It's just that there is Yi Chen between us.
4
The four years of college went by day after day, and when I graduated, I was still alone, and my roommates sighed as a miracle. One of my female classmates graduated with a graduation certificate and a marriage certificate. After the meal, everyone ate a wedding wine, which became a popular story.
When I invited Yi Chen to dinner when I got my first month's salary, I told him about it as a joke, but he was a little taken aback and said casually, "I originally planned to get married as soon as I graduated."
I looked at him in shock.
He seemed to realize what he had just said, and there was a trace of sadness in his eyes.
Everyone didn't speak for a while.
I slowly calmed down and said, "Yi Chen, last time my mother asked me if you had a girlfriend, so you should find one too."
At this moment, I said it sincerely. Four years of wasted time in college have already made me understand that after Zhao Mosheng, He Yichen may fall in love with someone, but it will definitely not be me. I am no longer the He Yimei of the past, and now I hope he can fall in love with someone again, and this time, I will only give my heartfelt blessings.
Although heartache.
He casually diverged in a few words and did not answer the topic.
This meal was spent amid some indiscreet topics. At the time of checkout, although it was said that it was my treat, Yi Chen still paid.
When it was time for the waiter to find the change, Yi Chen got up and went to the bathroom. When the waiter brought the change to me, he hadn't come back yet. Seeing his coat hanging on the chair, I reached into his coat pocket and took out his wallet, trying to put the change in.
When I opened my wallet, I saw the photo.
It seems to have been torn from some document, and there are still traces of steel stamps on it.
The girl in the photo has a ponytail, her big eyes smile like a crescent moon, and she looks bright and sunny.
A very familiar smile, but I haven't seen it for a long time.
When Yi Chen came back, I was still in a daze with my wallet, it was too late to go back to the fortress, so I simply put the money away and returned it to him.
"Looking for change."
"Yeah." He nodded and took it, his expression was calm, just like when Zhao Mosheng had just left that year.
At this moment, I suddenly realized the meaning of his expression.
Calm because a decision has been made.
Decided to wait.
Some people's wounds heal slowly over time, like me.
Some people's wounds are slowly festering over time, like him.
It turned out that all he had healed over the years was his appearance. There was a kind of injury that penetrated deep into the bone marrow and raged in places that people could not see.
After leaving the hotel, we walked to the bus stop. At that time, he had just worked for a year, and I had just left the society, so I didn’t have the financial ability, so I still chose the cheapest bus for transportation.
We didn't speak when we were waiting for the car. The car I was waiting for came soon. When the car was about to stop, he suddenly called me:
"Yi Mei."
I looked sideways at him.
The colorful lights of the city night reflected on him, making him even more lonely.
"You'll understand later that if that person ever appeared in the world, everyone else would be a future," he said. "I don't want to be a future."
As the bus drove away, his figure slowly blurred in my field of vision.
Repeated his words in your head - you'll understand later that if that person ever appeared in the world, everyone else would be a future.
Why, I always understand.
It's just that I don't want to.
So in this crowded metropolis, we are stubbornly lonely with the same mood.
Each is busy with his own business, and we gradually lose touch with each other than we were in college.
I used to be afraid of such a day, but this day still comes.
Actually it doesn't seem to be anything.
I am not sad.
Because you are used to it.
Yi Chen gave me a long time to get used to it.
Later, he came to the company to pick me up and went back to Y City to visit my sick father, and was bumped into by a female colleague of mine while waiting for me downstairs in the company.
The next day that female colleague asked me who he was, and even blatantly asked if he had a girlfriend.
I said, he already has a girlfriend, but in America.
There was disappointment in her eyes, and she said a little unwillingly: "Exotic relationships, long-distance relationships will break up, and exotic relationships are very dangerous."