"... I can't have children anymore." Yun Jin said.
There was silence behind her.
Why speak up? She is ready to let this past rot in her heart, and will rot with her in a few years. He never had to know the existence of this past, and there was no need to know that she was once in the dark and cold sea, watching the light fade away. Her baby, she and his baby, had only survived in her womb for a few dozen days, even though it was still an embryo that didn't form, even though it implanted by mistake in her fallopian tube and caused a large abdominal cavity Bleeding, but it was the only inseparable bond between her and him in this world. It is the same as its parents' feelings. It comes and it is wrong.
But now, without any warning, she said it. She was the same Su Yunjin who tried hard to calm the surface, but was easily angered by Cheng Zheng. He said she didn't love him. After so many years, she still can't be relieved from this sentence. Yun Jin couldn't expect Cheng Zheng's reaction, but she knew that it would definitely hurt him, and it would hit him with a single blow. This is the poison in her heart.
Lu Lu was right, how uncomfortable it is to bury a secret in your heart. Now that she finally has no secrets, the void in her heart is infinitely enlarged.
Cheng Zheng still didn't speak. For a long time, Yun Jin heard a sound similar to a whimper. She turned her head and saw Cheng Zheng squatting on the ground, burying his face in his knees, crying like a child.
He never cried in front of her. When the two were together, once, he injured his leg while playing football, and his shin was cracked. It really hurt. Yun Jin woke up in the middle of the night and saw his contorted face covered in cold sweat. She said to him: "Cheng Zheng, if it really hurts, just cry, it will feel better when you cry." But he said stubbornly: "I am not a woman, a manly man, how can I be so embarrassed." Saying the word "break up", he didn't cry when he watched her leave.
Cheng Zheng doesn't like children. Many times, he himself is like a big boy. It is difficult for a person of his age to truly appreciate the feeling of fatherly love. However, when Yun Jin said those words, tears welled up in his heart, and there was nothing to hold back. If the feeling of breaking up and waiting for four years was hopeless, now he only has grief in his heart.
Yun Jin walked two steps away from him and stopped. Bowing her head, for the first time, looking at Cheng Zheng, who was as fragile as a baby, from this angle, she had no desire to cry. How wonderful, when she saw him in pain, the pain in her heart eased. It turned out that not only happiness needs to be shared, but pain also needs to be shared. Only he can share her pain, because half of it also belongs to him.
When they met again, what was his unwillingness to forgive, in fact, she knew in her heart, whether he pretended to be alienated or spoke badly, in fact he loved her. Cheng Zheng had always been transparent in front of her, and he could clearly see whether he was happy or sad. The reason why she chose to avoid is because in the past four years, she gradually discovered the fact that Cheng Zheng was immature, but her low self-esteem and habit of hiding herself were not the biggest reason for the separation of the two. Two people like her and Cheng Zheng actually don't love each other very much. Maybe they can find their own happiness when they meet someone else at first, but they are together, and the dark side of each other's characters are catalyzed by each other. Undoubtedly. She was afraid of repeating the same mistakes.
During this period, neighbors who were familiar with each other entered or walked out of the elevator one after another. Seeing such a strange scene of this unrelated couple, they walked away in confusion. Seeing that Cheng Zheng was tired from crying, Yun Jin buried her face in the palm of her hand and refused to raise her head. She took a step forward, hesitated for a while, and pressed on the upward elevator.
Cheng Zheng felt her footsteps leaving, standing behind her, his face covered with tears and said: "Su Yunjin, you don't say anything, why don't you say anything! You selfish woman, why can only I find you , and you can't come to me, I've been here for four years, but where are you?"
The elevator closed slowly, which also cut off Yun Jin's expression.
From that day on, Cheng Zheng disappeared from her sight. He probably moved out of the community. Yunjin's life has returned to peace again, and the strange thing is that without him, her relationship with Dr. Wu has faded. During the period, Dr. Wu called her twice to make an appointment with her. She found reasons to shirk twice, and slowly, she neglected to contact her. Yu Hua was right, now between men and women, that's the same thing. Everyone is very busy, and no one has time to spend too much energy on a relationship. Relationships also have costs. If the costs are too high, the benefits are uncertain. , who would do something that is not worth it? It is said that the strong woman is afraid of entanglement with men, but she perseveres and becomes more and more courageous. Where is the "entangling man"? Fortunately, women are used to it now. Who can't live without it
Zhou Ziyi got divorced - four years ago, he was in Shanghai. One night, he drank too much, drove his car on the road, and then hit the isolation pier. Not only did his beloved Porsche crash into a pile of scrap metal , he has basically become a run-down doll. After being sent to the intensive care unit of the hospital, his rich parents found him the best doctor and intensive care, and gave him the most expensive medicine and treatment, but they only visited him twice. His fiancée often called him overseas from abroad, but this did not change his situation at all.
All the old classmates also went to the hospital to see him, but Yu Hua didn't go. On the sixth day of his hospitalization, she left her internship job and confessed to her supervisor. Regardless of whether she got permission or not, she flew to Shanghai alone and waited on Zhou Ziyi's hospital bed. Zhou Ziyi felt embarrassed at the time. , can't deny that in that case, he needs her.
When in Shanghai, Yu Hua learned about Yun Jin and called her, but Yun Jin couldn't understand it even on the phone. Who is Zhou Ziyi, even she can't forget the third year of high school, how embarrassing his expression of rejecting Yu Hua was, even if he didn't mention the old things, at best he was just a high school classmate who didn't have much contact with him. He had a good career and love. , how splendid it is, and it was difficult at one time, why should a person who he regarded as a beast of a flood, do this for him.
She was worthless for Yu Hua, women were just that stupid sometimes.
In this way, Yu Hua served Zhou Ziyi for two months until he could walk down the ground. Her professional knowledge and hard work were nothing short of a savior for him at that time. He was so reliant on her that when he woke up in the middle of the night and was missing her at the bedside, he was so anxious; .
But his injury finally healed. On the day he was discharged from the hospital, his parents, friends, and subordinates who came to pick him up filled the ward. He didn't even know when Yu Hua left. That night, he called Yu Hua and said, "Yu Hua, I am grateful to you, and I will never forget that if one day you need me, I will do it for you."
Mo Yuhua is so smart, but she knows that Zhou Ziyi is even more shrewd, everything has a price, and what he said about "wind and fire" is the price he gave her. But she didn't need this, so she clearly told him on the phone, "What do I want you to do, don't think too much about yourself, I'm going to Shanghai, not for you, but for myself. You don't owe anything. ." She relieved him and relieved herself.
Six months after his recovery, she received his wedding invitation. The beautiful unmarried bride finally returns from her study tour, and her lover is married.
So now Yu Hua said to Yun Jin, "Divorce? His marriage has nothing to do with me, so what does divorce have to do with me?"
The nineteenth day of the ninth month of the lunar calendar is the birthday of Guanyin.
There are many people in Lingnan who believe in Buddhism. On this day, good men and women in major temples are like weaving.
Zheng Xiaotong is not from Lingnan, but she also believes in Buddhism. At this time of the year, she fasts and bathes and goes to the temple to offer incense. So she came to the Liurong Temple early in the morning, and after the incense was finished, she added sesame oil money to the Everbright Lamp at the monk's office.
Before walking past the Guanyin Pavilion, she looked back. Those who worshiped and prayed in front of the Buddha were all poor people. If the reality was fulfilled, who would put their hopes on the emptiness of gods and Buddhas. She has not been a bright child since she was a child, so she doesn't have many wishes, but she feels that she is happier than most people.
In such a densely woven crowd and smog, it is not easy to identify a person, but she did recognize Su Yunjin, perhaps because most people bowed down and bowed, and Su Yunjin was standing; it could also be because, For someone like her, who is not sensitive, it is especially easy to identify the few figures that draw her attention in the crowd. So she didn't think about anything and walked over.
Zheng Xiaotong stood not far behind Su Yunjin and just stared at her blankly. There were too many people coming and going, and Su Yunjin didn't notice her.
Su Yunjin's back is very thin, but her waist is very straight. Looking from the rear, she has a fair and deep profile face and a beautifully curved neck. This is the person Cheng Zheng has been in love with since he was a teenager. Zheng Xiaotong didn't respond quickly, and her thoughts were simple and simple, but she was not stupid. After Su Yunjin and Lu Lu hurriedly left at the dinner that day, Cheng Zheng became distracted, just like most of the time he was with her. After he sent her home, she sat in the rocking chair for a long time and suddenly realized that he had found the person he was waiting for.
Is it sad or unexpected? At that time, her heart was at a loss, and her feelings may have been half a beat forever. It was like Cheng Zheng suddenly said to her: Do you want to be my girlfriend? Her reaction was jaw-dropping. She likes Cheng Zheng, not just because of her father's favor for him. Maybe simple people are easily attracted to each other. When Cheng Zheng laughed, she felt that her own sky was bright. Later, he started to smile less. He said that he had lost the most important thing, and her day was also gray. When Cheng Zheng suffered the most, she was by his side. He said he wanted to learn Go, so she taught him. He was very smart and mastered it very quickly. , When he won, facing the chessboard, there was sadness in his expression that she didn't understand. It turned out that he was waiting for someone who he believed he couldn't wait, and she didn't mind staying by his side to fill the gap in his heart, as long as he laughed again.
When the two of them were together, they couldn't help themselves. Once in his apartment late at night, he was playing chess in the breeze. She leaned over and stood behind him, breathing on his neck. He turned around suddenly, the lights were dim at that time, He looked at her with dreamlike eyes. Before she could react, she was pushed down by Cheng Zheng on the sofa beside her. Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest. No matter how stupid she was, she knew what was going on, but she was willing to endure this strange passion and let his mouth talk to her. Hands run over her. When her clothes were exhausted, she heard Cheng Zheng muttering, "Dizzy..." She was startled and asked, "Where are you dizzy?"
Cheng Zheng trembled as if being hit by frost, and all the movements of his whole body stopped. He looked at her with a completely unfamiliar look, completely losing the unbearable passion just now. He looked at her for a long time, then closed his eyes and frantically kissed her again, kissed and kissed, and finally rolled off her body weakly, looked at the ceiling, and said helplessly, "Why not?"
Xiaotong actually wanted to tell him that she didn't care about her body's erotic desire, she just liked the feeling of being with him, she forgot whether she said it or not, and his expression seemed to have heard nothing.
Then she saw that there was a strange stone pendant, worn with a thin silver chain, emitting a faint blue light on his chest.
They never had such intimate physical contact after that.
Cheng Zheng was with her, and he didn't talk much, but he treated her very well. She had never seen him speak ill of Su Yunjin like that. Perhaps, a certain aspect of him exists only for her.
She just looked at Su Yunjin like this, the person offering incense had already walked away a few times, but Su Yunjin was still standing there. Seeing her holding a note of incense, Xiaotong didn't know what she was thinking, until the incense burnt out, and she vaguely heard her say: "... I broke my oath, if there is retribution, punish me. "