I don't know which day it started, the third master suddenly became very choking, just like his rebellious period at the age of sixteen or seven was delayed, and the tenderness he once had for me was thrown into the sea to feed the fish. Leave me with the stubborn back of a stubborn young master.
The most common thing is to eat.
Me: "Honey, what are we having for dinner?"
The third master looked like a good man: "whatever you want, I don't care. We can eat whatever you want."
I looked at the storefront on the street and pointed at random: "Then let's eat pig's trotters, shall we? West Street roast pig's trotters seem to be good, I've always wanted to eat them."
The third master said "oh", then frowned and looked at me: "but I hate eating pig trotters the most."
I continued to look forward: "That's it... Then let's go to Yoshino's house. Don't you like his family's double-pins?"
The third master shook his head: "I don't really want to eat rice now."
I was already a little upset: "How about we go to McDonald's...?"
The third master replied without wink, "I hate fast food, I don't want to eat hamburgers."
I was speechless: "... Then tell me, what are we going to eat?"
The third master still started to spoil his boyfriend's face: "whatever. Listen to you."
At that time, I was already angry and there was a table in front of me that was overturned in minutes, and glared at him: "Fuck you!"
The third master was horrified: "Darling, do you like to eat that?"
Then he put his hand on his butt shyly, clenched a fist and placed it in front of my face, "Are you ready?!"
I:"… "
The third master said all day long that he liked me the most fleshy, and even said that he did not have the courage to pursue me in high school, because I was "as thin as a monkey back then, not as good-looking as I am now", if I was ten fatter at that time Jin, he "has already acted."
On the one hand, I convince myself that men are all liars, and I can't just trust them, and I can't get fat; on the other hand, I can't help but wagging my tail to accept the food of the third master... But the third master can't keep his heart and his mouth open if he is not careful. Say something that hurts me and myself (usually if he hurts my self-esteem I will hurt his health)!
The cold wind was blowing, I watched the little girls on the street shivering from the cold, and proudly said to him: "Although I am fat, my ability to keep out the cold is obviously enhanced. Others are very bulky, but I can wear very little. It's beautiful!"
The third master sneered: "don't lie to yourself, they don't see how much you wear or not at all, they only look at your face."
I jumped up a roundhouse kick.
When I was weighing, I was saddened by the numbers on the LCD screen. The third master passed by and glanced at me, patted me on the shoulder, "I just like you round and round."
I looked up and asked, "What if I lose weight? You don't like me anymore?"
The third master replied seriously, "don't talk nonsense."
Before I could be happy and moved, he added, "How could you be thin."
I jumped up a roundhouse kick.
One night we were chatting about what we had for lunch, and he said, "I spent a total of 14 yuan for lunch."
I proudly said: "I only spent 7 yuan."
The corner of the third master's mouth twitched: "unhappy, I actually spent twice your money."
I snickered and comforted him: "don't be sad, you are twice my weight anyway, so it will cost about the same for each piece of meat." The third master was silent for a few seconds, and said seriously: "Don't cheat. myself."
I walked over for a nice jumping roundhouse kick.
Because when I used my mobile phone number to register on Taobao, I was prompted that the number had been requisitioned, so I had to register with the mobile phone number of the third master. Later, for convenience, basically all my online shopping accounts were registered with the phone number of the third master. All kinds of personal accounts are shared. The advantage is that I can directly use the quick payment of the third master when I have no money. The disadvantage is that there is no secret at all.
One day the third master called me and said that there was shipping information, so he clicked in and took a look.
I said, "Oh, I bought a new dress."
He sneered, "I saw your conversation with Taobao boss, height [silence], weight [silence], eh?"
I didn't respond, "Yeah."
The third master sneered again, "I actually lied to me with the real data to lose ten pounds of weight, you woman, you have a lot of scheming."
The villain in my head jumps up and spins a kick...
One day I got a call from the third master within a few minutes of getting up at noon.
The third master asked, "what are you doing?"
I haven't woken up yet, and my voice is relatively soft: "I just got up, I'm going to the library."
Third Master: "Oh, I want to sleep for a while."
Me: "Set your own alarm clock, I'm afraid I forgot to call you, do you have anything else to do this afternoon?"
Third Master: "Okay. But why is your tone so gentle? It's weird..."
Being praised for being gentle, I asked dumbly, "Is there? Maybe I just woke up and wasn't conscious."
The third master's voice seemed to be coquettish: "Oh, I see~ You don't get up~"
I activated the anti-coquette skill: "Yeah~ Only you have the energy to get up~ Do you like me being so gentle?"
The third master was silent for a while: "you don't get up, but you have athlete's foot!"
I froze all my skills, opened my throat, and screamed that the dog downstairs was frightened and barked: "Your uncle! Go away!"
The third master said cheerfully, "ah, it feels much better this way."
Once, I went to IKEA with the third master's family for a whole morning. When we were about to leave, the third master's parents went to the toilet. We were waiting for them at the door with a bunch of things.
When I was bored, the third master suddenly turned his head to look left and right, and then looked at me with a look of regret: "there are so many people."
I didn't know what he wanted to do. Before I asked, I saw him glanced in the direction of the toilet, and then said in a very firm tone, "No matter, it's too late, they're coming out soon."
I suddenly realized that he was trying to kiss me, and for two seconds, I closed my eyes.
As a result, I closed my eyes and waited for a long time without seeing the third master move. When I opened my eyes, I realized that he actually said: No! See! !
Holding the huge vase, I craned my neck to look for him, and finally saw him in line behind the long line in the food area.
When he was licking the cone and walking towards me holding another cone to ask for credit, I thought silently: If this is in a serious romance novel, do you know that you won't survive three episodes, third master
The author has something to say: Why did the third master live to the tenth chapter, because of my deep love for the third master...
He's going back to work in Wuhan tomorrow, so I found some of the previous jokes and sorted them out today. Don't dislike it. After all, there is a person who has been staring at you complainingly and asked you to play with him. He comes to harass you once every three minutes. You can't even write.
Okay, let's go to the movies... Please take pity on me for the sake of my boyfriend's low EQ, and leave me a review...