The third master sometimes suddenly commits hypocrisy and turns into a middle two literary youth.
For example, for a while he was particularly fond of expressing his meaning with lyrics.
The key point is that he didn't write the quoted lyrics of the log comments or something. He was chatting with you, and suddenly he read a lyrics very seriously! Can you imagine that kind of neurosis! It's not a normal tone, it's a broadcasting tone! Seriously speaking!
For example, during the postgraduate entrance examination, I often couldn't get up in the morning, and the alarm clock couldn't separate me from my dear bed. So I asked the third master to call me in the morning, but sometimes the third master also overslept.
Although neither of them got up, I still chose to throw the blame on the third master: "Why didn't you wake me up in the morning! I told you to get up and memorize words, didn't you promise to call me!"
The third master told me calmly, "the alarm clock didn't ring."
I was speechless: "You get out of my way... Do you think I will believe it?"
The third master continued to tell me calmly, "or it rang, and then I pressed it off unconsciously."
At the time of the postgraduate entrance examination, I was very angry, and I could fight every little thing in minutes. I yelled at the phone: "You just didn't worry about this matter, even if I didn't ask me, you should get up earlier to review. Right? What time did you sleep in? How could you look like you are going to take a postgraduate entrance exam! %*!#%!#￥… @…%￥Uum”
The third master quietly listened to me from the time I was three years old when I regularly wet the bed and got up early. I kept talking about how harmful it is to not cherish time. Finally, when I was gasping for breath, he read to me: "If you want to quarrel with me, I Not so boring."
I broke the gong with a "poof" sound.
The third master would go for a run at night, and I would always remind him to pay attention to safety: "Have you just finished running? Walk slowly on the way back, watch the car and the road, don't hit anything."
Then the third master told me solemnly: "I'm not vulnerable, let alone what kind of injury is that."
At that time, I really wanted to go and give him a hammer to hurt him a little.
Sometimes I just ask casually, "Have you eaten? Where are you?"
The third master would say to me intermittently, "I'm eating fried chicken in People's Square, and where are you?"
I don't even know where I am, maybe God...
Of course, it's all trivial, but I couldn't bear it when he was so nervous about some fundamental issues.
Once I cried to him: "Today, my roommates said I'm fat, oh oh oh..."
Third Master: "No matter how beautiful the spring breeze is, it can't compare to your smile. Those who haven't seen you won't understand it."
At that time, I was pinching the flesh on my stomach and was depressed. When I heard him start reading the lyrics again, I exploded, and said viciously: "Enough is enough!"
After being ruthless, I feel that something is not right. He seemed to be complimenting me just now? So he asked, "Wait a minute, what did you just say?"
Who knows that the third master has switched to the normal conversation channel, and told me in a worried tone: "I said that if you don't lose weight in winter, you will be sad in summer."
Later I let his knee know how many lovely protrusions there are on the durian shell we kept at home, hehe.
Once the two of us were walking on the road, the third master was knocked on by a stone and almost tripped. I couldn't be indifferent to such a big movement, so I glanced at him, and as a result, this guy turned on the mode of perseverance.
Third Master: "What kind of eyes did you have just now! Why did you look at me with the eyes of a dog!"
I was confused: "Is there? I don't know? What do I look at the dog?"
Third Master: "That's how you looked at me just now!"
Me: "What did I look at you just now?"
Third Master: "It's the kind of eyes that look at a dog!"
After falling into this unexplainable endless loop, I have to admit that the third master is sometimes stubborn like a street lamp.
When I was in college, the third master would pay special attention to all kinds of news about our school. He knew better than me what tragedies happened in which street near our school. Once he didn't know what news he was reading, and repeatedly told me not to go out alone after 8 o'clock in the evening, don't wear skirts and shorts when going out, the phone must keep more than 50% of the battery, and put his number. Set it up as a speed dial... After setting up various safety guidelines for me, he was still worried, and then one day he suddenly pretended to be a courier and called me...
The third master said to me in a serious tone that could scare children to tears: "Hello, hello."
I glanced at the screen of my mobile phone, and the caller clearly displayed his name, so I had to answer with the same seriousness: "Hello..."
Then the third master began to act: "I have your courier, please go downstairs to pick it up."
I didn't react for a while, and replied stupidly, "Huh? I didn't buy anything."
Third Master: "Maybe it was given by your boyfriend. Please go downstairs and pick it up. I'm under the tree at the school gate."
I guessed it might be some kind of fun game, so I squeezed my throat and told him, "But they don't have a boyfriend~"
(I answered the phone in the dormitory at the time, and within three seconds of saying this, I received a blessing from my roommate Qi Shushua, "Get out of here!")
The third master was silent for a few seconds, and then returned to the original topic: "I have your courier, please go downstairs and pick it up."
I continued to play with him while eating melon seeds: "Which courier are you? Our school's courier is always in the mail room, right?"
Third Master: "I'm from the express company under the tree."
At that time, I really wanted to throw the melon seed skin in my hand and throw it in his face through the phone. Can I still act happily? Would you like a normal name? ! I took a deep breath, rolled my eyes and told him, "I've never heard of this courier."
The third master said in an impatient tone: "new company, please go downstairs and pick it up. I have other items, and I will leave in ten minutes."
He really imitated the state of the little brother who delivered the courier to us. I think Oscar owes him a trophy!
Not wanting to continue playing with him, I replied, "Okay, okay, I'll go down right away."
As a result, the third master suddenly became angry when he heard this: "... ! Why is your defense so poor! Just go on like this! What if it's a liar? If you've never heard of a courier, go to a strange place to pick it up, you'll be a bad guy when you hear it. !"
I was stunned for a while: "I'm not kidding you, I know it's fake as soon as I hear it."
Third Master: "Bullshit, how can you know that I'm acting so realistically? You must have been fooled just now! Think about what you would do if you really went out! Maybe you will be killed first!"
I thought about it, it was pointless to argue with him, and I just deal with him casually: "It doesn't matter, I look very safe and I won't have an accident. Promise me, just like Erkang promised Ziwei, don't keep reading strange news. Is it ok?"
The third master didn't buy it at all, ignored my request, and questioned me righteously: "Although you are ugly, what if the bad guy is blind?!"
I:"… "
At the end of the story, I quarreled with him. The quarrel was not about his persecution paranoia, but... Who are you saying is ugly! Who is ugly! Who is ugly!
The author has something to say: I rewrite these previous stories once, and there is a kind of fascinated touch. If I don't say it, I will beat the third master again.
Tentative daily update, update time is in the morning, 11:23:33 (requires medicine 2333)
New content will be added one after another tomorrow, don't talk about love me, please write a long review :)