Short and powerful are called jokes! #An author who can't last and doesn't want to admit#
March 14th is White Day. In fact, I don't quite understand what holiday it is, but if it's a holiday, I always have to receive gifts.
So I made a video with the third master before going to bed and asked confidently, "Where is my Valentine's Day gift!"
The third master picked up an orange next to the computer: "here for you."
I was very angry: "You will give me an orange on Valentine's Day?!"
The third master thought about it for three seconds, picked up... two oranges, and added a sentence: "You can eat more and more."
It's still the video before going to bed. In the quiet bedroom, only I kept asking questions on the phone screen:
"Can you speak?"
"Is your colleague asleep?"
"Is it inconvenient for you to speak?"
It eventually developed into an angry "you fucking talk to me!"
The roommates said: "He is not convenient to talk, can you type?"
I turned my head to my roommates and said, "I can't understand him, he's been playing sign language with me all the time!"
Later, because of being ridiculed by my roommates, the third master turned off the video and ignored me.
The third master is exercising recently.
I asked, "Have you lost weight?"
He replied, "I've lost weight."
I asked again, "How many pounds did you lose?"
He replied, "No, I don't know."
I continued to ask: "Then why do you say that you are thin?"
The third master was silent for a while, and then asked me, "then why do you call yourself beautiful?"
I turned my head and ran away: "Where's my knife?!"
Five minutes later, he forced the round: "My comparison is to say that it is an absolute fact that I am thin, just as absolute as your beauty."
One day, the third master sent me a "poem" very abruptly, not knowing whether it was a love letter sent by feeling or where he saw it.
The content is as follows:
"Spring Breeze Ten Miles
The spring breeze is ten miles, fifty miles, one hundred miles, not as good as you
Twenty thousand leagues under the sea, not as good as you
Dove Chocolate Black Pepper Beef Tenderloin, Braised Spicy Chicken, Vanilla Flavor, Baxi Durian, Jackfruit Cheese, Corn Kernels, Chicken Sauce, Mashed Potatoes, nothing like you”
I was very moved, and then wrote an article in response to him: "How much did you eat today!"
Many times, I will quarrel with the third master unilaterally, which means... I am quarreling, but the third master does not know that we are quarreling, and then he will not coax me, because he is completely unaware!
He was a little tired from work that day, so he fell asleep when he got home. I poked wildly at the wool felt by myself. After poking, I calmed down and started deleting WeChat chat content. The song he recorded for me, "Accompanying You Through Long Years".
Then he smirked and sent him a WeChat message and said, "I forgive you." It is estimated that he would be confused when he got up and saw it.
Another time I was sulking with him. When I was browsing Weibo, I saw a picture. The small shop in the picture is the place where my third master and I once passed by. It is a very simple shop, but because it was marked by someone It will be instantly recognizable.
I looked at the picture and remembered that there was a KFC at the end of the road, where the third master once bought New Orleans grilled wings, which were delicious.
Then I got mad again.
After reading the post "How to make dormitory life more quality", I saw some recommended sofa chairs, so I went to Taobao to buy a few and put them in the shopping cart, and then went out to eat. After a long cooling-off period, I felt that there was no need to spend so much money.
Before Weibo held a retweet lottery, jokingly said that if I won the lottery, I would reward myself for going to the hot springs.
The three readers who won the lottery all wanted to eat. Although I don’t know why my readers are all like this, I still kindly satisfied them and started to search for snack spree on Taobao, and it was successful. Not sure which one to buy after picking a bunch again.
I am such a choice disorder patient who struggles 800 times a day.
So I asked the third master for help.
The third master went to my Taobao, bought a sofa chair, picked out snacks, and booked a hot spring hotel.
Then he said to me, "I will go back to Beijing in two days, just in time to help you carry the chair to the dormitory. I bought an extra snack and sent it to your school, so that we don't have to buy food when we go to the hot spring."
The third master is really a woman's friend, the gospel of entanglement!
At dinner one night, I discussed the dark dishes I ate with my roommates.
I found a photo of a "dish" that I had made before and told her: "This is porridge that was boiled into a paste that was uneatable, so I used the sauce left over from making braised pork to stir-fry it, and I was wise. I made the porridge into rice balls, stuffed it in with ham and cheese and fry it again. But it wasn't very good, and it turned into a lump."
Roommate: "Σ( ° △ °|||)︴ Did you eat this stuff later?"
Me: "yes, I ate it with the third master. Although he said it looked like a cake, he still solved it with me!"
Later in the dormitory night, we talked about emotional issues. I said that the third master was watching "Six Stories of a Floating Life" recently, and the dormitory was silent for a while.
I continued to be proud: "Third Master has read a lot of books, and when I chat with him, there are always endless topics to talk about, and it's especially in harmony!"
The roommates are used to my shameless compliments to my boyfriend every day, and they clapped their hands in a perfunctory manner.
The purpose of showing affection was achieved, and I concluded my statement: "I will always love the third master!"
As a result, the little friends who had dinner together suddenly said in the dark night: "After all, it's the friendship that we ate shit together."
The author has something to say: In fact, most of them were posted on Weibo, and you can interact with me in a more timely manner by paying attention to Weibo~
The name of Weibo is "Xiaobu loves to eat egg tarts"~
I’m really sorry for not updating for so long