In our pair of CPs, I am in charge of wisdom and beauty, and the third master is responsible for finding faults and making stupid mistakes. Yes, that's the way it is... Of course, the third master will occasionally have a high IQ.
When I was in high school, I didn't like to do homework, but I was as timid as a sesame seed and didn't dare not turn in my homework. So every month when I come back from the big break, I must be the first to come to the classroom (for this reason, I specially applied for the honorable position of holding the key to open the door). Waiting for a kind person to rescue.
This kind person is usually the third master.
At that time, I also borrowed other people's homework for "reference". Later, I found that the third master has a high accuracy rate, and the steps are not too cumbersome. At the same time, it can occupy most of the answering space, so I especially like to borrow the third master's homework.
For a simple high school student, students who can lend their homework to help others have their own light! So every day when I go back to school from a big break, I see the third master as if I saw a dog with flesh and bones. His eyes started to stick to him from the time he entered the door, until he sat down and took out his homework, and then came over and put it on him. On my desk, every move he made during this process was incredibly charming!
I was particularly impressed by one summer vacation. I didn't write more than half of the calculation questions in "Summer Vacation Garden". Although I knew the teacher would definitely not read it, I was still uneasy, so I called the third master for help, and the third master said, "I When you're done writing it, come and get it."
I happily got on the bus and went from the old town to the new town to find him. I remember getting off the car and seeing the third master standing under the stop sign waiting for me. He didn't say anything when he saw me, and just handed me a garden plot.
I picked it up stupidly, said "thank you", turned around and saw the bus coming home, hurriedly ran across the road in a car and left, I didn't think about taking it until I was in the car. Wouldn't it be very unconscionable to run away after homework
Years later, I firmly believed that the third master borrowing my homework was the first step to hook me up. I asked him, "Did you know that I like to look for less steps when doing the problem, so I deliberately wrote it very briefly!"
The third master looked puzzled, and then replied, "Did you say the book from the winter and summer vacations? That thing has an answer, you can just put two formulas on it and write the answer, but the teacher doesn't read it. Uh, you are another Did you misunderstand me..."
When I finally found out the truth, I burst into tears.
After the ambiguous summer vacation after graduating from high school, with curiosity and yearning for a new life, we each started university life. After the military training and the chaotic period of getting to know strangers, I suddenly missed the third master a little, so I sent him a WeChat message on a dark and windy night.
I was too lazy to type, and the voice sent to him: where are you
The voice of the third master was noisy, and he said: eating.
At that moment, I was inexplicably lost, as if I felt that his new life was very colorful, and that new life no longer had my "best friend in the universe", I said: Oh, let's chat.
The third master changed to typing: "you say."
I also typed: "Let's have a long-distance relationship."
The third master asked, "Why?"
I am speechless, he is one hundred thousand why! I started to babble: "Look, winter is coming. On such a cold day, it's better for two people to warm up together than one person to freeze, right?"
The third master told me: "The daytime temperature here in Xiamen is 28 degrees, and I am wearing a vest and shorts."
I was speechless and had no choice but to say, "Go ahead and have dinner together."
After that, I contacted the third master from time to time, sometimes it was a joke, sometimes I was choked by him. I put forward the very constructive proposal of "long-distance relationship" more than once, but he always refused.
In the end, the more frustrated I became, I told the third master: "Let's have a long-distance relationship. Seriously, I don't play, and we don't find anyone else."
The third master came back quickly: "OK."
I can't react a bit: "...Is that all right?"
The third master asked, "otherwise?"
In the next few months, for some unknown reason, I always felt like jumping into the pit dug by the third master.
After falling in love, I also questioned, "Why am I chasing you, no, you have to chase me again! It's not fair to me! It's too embarrassing to say it!"
The third master was no longer the good boy he used to be at that time, he perfunctory me lazily, "I like you first, you chase me first, how fair. It's not a seventeen or eighteen-year-old child anymore, stop making trouble and go eat. Barbecue!"
While following him uncontrollably, I felt aggrieved: "Although "I'm not a seventeen or eighteen-year-old child", I'm only nineteen years old...
The third master always seems to have a big heart, and I sometimes try to help him find some jealousy.
Once I saw a boy who had a crush on me in the past posted a small and fresh state of literature and art, and immediately called the third master, pretending to be nonsense, "I'm pinching my feet, this child is missing me!"
The third master was playing games at the time, with the phone between his ears and shoulders. From time to time, he heard the shouts of game characters. He asked indifferently, "Well, then?"
I went crazy: "Don't you have a sense of crisis?"
The third master said calmly, "what's the sense of crisis? He has a new love, you have me, what else can you do?"
I frightened him: "Aren't you afraid that he will rekindle his old love for me, am I going to make fire with him!"
The third master first despised my language level, and then told me: "I was afraid half a year ago, but I am not afraid now."
I instantly understood the deep meaning of his words, and said sadly: "You play..."
After hanging up the phone, I ran to the mirror behind the door, looked around, and asked my roommate, "Am I fatter than when I started school?"
My roommate hit me mercilessly: "Did you know? You've gained more than ten pounds, okay?"
I never thought about this question, I was taken aback, I tried on the previous pants and skirts from the closet, and found that… they were all! Put on! Do not! superior! !
This situation made me very sad. In order to make the third master feel a sense of crisis, I decided to lose weight. I skipped dinner and only ate two meals a day.
The third master asked in shock, "are you losing weight?"
I said, "You know... how much you don't care about me!"
The third master was speechless: "you didn't tell me, how did I know. How many pounds have you lost?"
With pride on my face: "Three pounds!"
The third master actually smiled and told me: "The effect is average, I think people lose weight by not eating three meals, just eat some fruit, you don't eat it at night, and you eat so much in the two meals during the day, how can you lose weight? "
I thought he had a good point and started eating only apples and eggs the next day.
After a day, two days... On the third day, I received a snack courier, and the box said "For Xiaobu's roommate"!
So they cheered as they unpacked and ate them openly. I sat on the bed and looked at them resentfully, and silently took out my phone: "Why do this...why don't you buy it for me?"
The third master replied seriously: "you lose weight first, and I will buy it for you when you lose weight."
I listened to the shameless coaxing of the third master, and looked at the happy people who were eating. I was wrong! Buy it for me..."
The third master's tone changed instantly: "That's right, the fleshy ones feel good to the touch. Your package will arrive in two days, darling."
I mourned a few seconds of silence for the flesh on me, then threw myself on the bed and grabbed snacks with my roommates.
The roommate said: This vicious plan to make me fat is the most witty thing the third master has ever done.
The author has something to say: Although the third master didn't read the text, he still wisely realized that I had been blackmailing him. In order to appease him, on the first day of the new year, I decided to write a special chapter to praise him!