The teaching building of the third grade, located in front of the comprehensive building, is two buildings side by side but separated by a road. They are the science building and the liberal arts building. They are connected by an overpass on the fifth floor. The road in the middle of the building leads to the complex building and faces the door. On both sides of the road are the bulletin boards of the school.
Every year, every year, students start their high school careers here.
Especially for freshmen, when they are standing in front of the big red list and searching for their name, the announcement board on the other side behind them has already announced their future. That was the full-level rankings at the end of the second year of high school and the beginning of the third year of high school.
For freshmen, the first year is in front of them, and the second and third years are behind them.
As far as the bulletin board is concerned, what each student really leaves here is the red list that has been condensed for three years.
It has always been like this, year after year, and again and again.
—
When Wang Zhao passed by today, a strong emotion that he had never felt before suddenly engendered in his heart.
He stopped and deliberately looked up to find a name he knew.
Team Lin, Yu Shan, Ye Xiaoman, and Dong Youting in the back. These were all the friends he had just met this year, and they were introduced to him by Su Song.
Wang Zhao then turned around and looked up at the towering kapok tree in front of the complex and a certain window behind the tree. He couldn't help but curled his lips, smiled sharply, and my heart suddenly became warm.
Everything is changing quietly.
Wang Zhao clearly knew the changes in himself.
No matter it was the "Come on" that I could just smile and wave to the strange girl, or when I passed the bulletin board at this time, it suddenly came into being, a touch that I had never seen before in Mian'an.
Wang Zhao thought, this all means that he is changing in a good direction, doesn't it? I even suddenly felt a strong sense of belonging, and finally felt that I could be a small member of this campus.
A strong "I belong here" emotion.
For Wang Zhao, this is very precious.
Because he doesn't belong here.
Mian An No. 1 Middle School was his accident.
Wang Zhao's complete high school for three years belongs to the city No. 1 middle school.
—
The City No. 1 Middle School has not only a high school but also a junior high school, and even has its own primary school, a primary school.
And Wang Zhao was there, from elementary school to high school. So there are too many memories and too many familiar teachers and classmates. Even, there are quite a few classmates who have been classmates for more than 12 years, spanning the entire childhood and youth from beginning to end.
A 20-year-old man actually has 12 years of time, and he belongs there.
A sense of belonging that is deeply rooted there and cannot be easily peeled off.
So in the end, when he was left alone, he was at a loss and even desperate.
The rest of the students all took off there and flew to a bigger and more exciting world. In the end, there was only himself who had always been thought to create a legend, and he became the only one who stayed in that class of students.
Therefore, no one can really understand how Wang Zhao who is left behind has a sense of helplessness, self-loathing and self-doubt.
He who was left behind, how could he who used to be so full of spirits continue to stay there? How can you have the face to face those familiar teachers? Or even greet the college entrance examination with those younger brothers and sisters who have admired themselves
At that time, after knowing his achievements, Wang Zhao, who had been growing up with a halo, had considered that he would go into the society and work.
However, after all, I am deeply unwilling to myself, so I chose to reread it.
He understands that there are always surprises in life, understands his unavoidable fears, and understands that human nature is always cowardly. However, he also knows that he has the nature of a gambler.
Therefore, he finally chose to bet on himself.
Bet yourself to survive.
—
Wang Zhao could have stayed in City No. 1 Middle School to repeat his studies, but he also had a hurdle he couldn't cross, so he could only step back and came to Mian'an No. 1 Middle School.
That's a kind of cheap but extremely important pride he left for himself.
Therefore, Mian'an No. 1 Middle School, for Wang Zhao, has always been his place of exile.
There is no sense of belonging, there is no sense of belonging, only the endless sense of drifting.
He overestimated himself after all.
There are too many unexpected emotions, which intensified and eroded him in the original fear.
—
In the first year of rereading, he couldn't pass the barrier in his heart.
He always felt that he was an outsider, a poor person in the eyes of his classmates. The blame is on the famous name of the child prodigy who has been broadcast since he was a child, so even if he changed to a completely unfamiliar environment, he couldn't be like a normal senior in high school. He could only be looked down upon and pitiful.
Even so, he told himself rationally and clearly that it was better than staying in the No. 1 Middle School. Because it's better to be pitiful for someone you don't know, than to be pitiful for someone you know, and it's a lot less sad.
However, the ubiquitous look accelerated his own breakdown until he found his own way of coping.
A very helpless, but also very effective method-to change the attitude of oneself.
In the first year here, he changed completely.
From the original self-confident, calm and high-minded scholarship to a hippie smiling, cynical bad student.
He began to look at his mood to attend class, to skip class, and to abandon the exam.
Because he was afraid, what should he do if he goes all out and fails again? Continue to be pitiful here? Where can you escape next year
He knows too well that he is not learning badly, he is fully capable of delivering a beautiful report card. The only premise is that if he can no longer fear exams.
It's just that it's impossible.
That kind of deep fear, fear of exams, he can't get rid of, he can do nothing.
At first, the teachers would talk to him and chat, and even the dean of teaching would be dispatched, and euphemistically asked him to talk to the counselor.
However, no matter who he faced, or persuaded or accused, he was just perfunctory with a smile on his face.
Later, when the persuader became tired and discouraged, they could only let them fend for themselves.
So, without a doubt and as it should be, Wang Zhao's exam for the second year of college entrance examination was worse than that of the first year.
A year of training has made him accustomed to his hippie smile, and even believes it is true, he doesn't care anymore.
So he started his third year of college entrance examination with a smile on his face.
Like anger, like giving up, and rescuing yourself, do it again.
In the second year of rereading, he was not like the first year. Standing in front of the bulletin board, facing the countless eyes cast, he could only pretend to dodge invisible.
This time, he welcomes every look he casts, and smiles wildly.
It's just that those people will never know how helpless he is.
For grades, for the college entrance examination, he cares very much, he does not care.
Cynicalism is just a mask to cover up under his arrogant inferiority.