That summer vacation was long and short, noisy, but quiet.
It was also during that summer vacation that Xiaoshan started to like another quiet game.
A game called pretend to be a family. She likes to be Ultraman's mother, because Kobayashi will be the father.
The most important thing is that in that game, father and mother only have one child, and they will love only one child wholeheartedly.
This is the family model that Yu Shan has always admired the most. It is so good that one child can get all the love.
Later, they went to elementary school together.
Yu Shan said that the high school student herself often followed the example of the Kobayashi team back then, otherwise she would not be able to survive from high school to the present.
It is one thing to study hard and tired. The most uncomfortable thing is the self-doubt behind the grades.
Questioning, like a nightmare, pressed oneself and had difficulty breathing.
Yu Shan said that at such moments, she would think of the permanent resident in her heart, the well-behaved and quiet little boy.
Don't argue, don't get discouraged, just a little boy who insists all the time.
He seemed to have an inherent tenacity, the strength to keep the clouds open to see the moon.
The Kobayashi team in the first grade of elementary school is her mental medicine.
—
At that time, the Kobayashi team went to school for the first time in their lives.
Absolutely zero basis, let alone pinyin or something, even numbers above ten digits are not understood.
Such a team of Kobayashi, among those children who were all caught by their parents since childhood, seemed like a mentally handicapped existence.
That year, every time the test papers were issued, the Xiaolin team didn't dare to read them, so they directly handed them to Xiaoshan.
All the test papers of the Kobayashi team are big red crosses all over the floor, and the best score can only be at the beginning of 5.
Less than Shan at the time, of course, did not understand what these bright red numbers meant to the Kobayashi team. But she could see all his obvious fears, so she always did her best to guard it carefully.
However, she still couldn't really empathize with Keke, who had a perfect score at that time.
Later, after Yu Shan, a high school student, was also pricked by her grades, she went to think about the year seriously, and she knew with empathy that all the bright red numbers that year were for the little child. , What it means.
All are blows that lead to absolute self-doubt!
However, that little boy not only endured it. Later, it turned out to be all the way! Invincible on this road that showed him fangs and claws from the very beginning.
Yes, that little boy had grown up to be a teenager, a very powerful teenager.
The powerful boy is the most powerful god in the world of goodness.
On many nights when he was tortured by grades to insomnia, high school student Yu Shan missed the little boy with Altman's rag doll.
For that little boy, apart from her endless admiration, she was heartbroken.
As a high school student, she is also suffering from her big red cross. In many cases, she can only be so weak that she wants to give up. So she still can't imagine how that little heart survived so many days and nights.
Captain Lin, really has been an inspirational kid since childhood!
So Yu Shan motivated himself to say, what the little boy can do, why can't the high school students do it
Isn’t it just for Tsinghua University and Peking University? is that really so difficult
Tsinghua University and Peking University! It's not just bare hands!
So on every new day when he woke up with Ultraman, Yu Shan picked up all the courage, fought with all the textbooks, and smashed to the end with all the knowledge.
She, Yu Shan, just wanted to go to Tsinghua and Peking University together with Team Lin.
—
"Some memories are exceptionally clear. I still remember him at the time. Every time when he handed out test papers and read his name, Captain Kobayashi always stood up slowly, always dragging his feet, as if his ankles had been handcuffed. Like iron chains, they are very heavy.
When taking the test papers, he didn't dare to look up at the teacher. He always looked conscientious, like a frightened and injured bird.
I can understand that kind of fear, because every time I go back to my parents' house, I always look that way.
I am afraid of them, and even more afraid of doing wrong in front of them. "
A timid child is always afraid of making mistakes, and even more afraid of the calm and complicated faces of adults.
Yu Shan continued, "At that time, the teacher always looked at him with strange eyes and would say something bad.
The whole class sees it, and the children know that the teacher will only praise students with excellent grades, and at the same time will not show mercy to students with poor grades.
Teachers, it seems that they disdain to accumulate morality. "
Children are naive and sensitive, and they also have a lot to say and express.
Of course they also know that when facing difficulties, even if they are weak, they must work hard.
However, they are always scared by the adult's calm face, so that all words are blocked in their chests.
They can't talk about it.
So I can only look at the faces of adults and learn how they react. As a result, they also began to learn the so-called "good and bad".
Very simple, good grades represent good children, and bad grades represent bad children. The bad boy should be scolded, it deserves it.
When adults are ruthless, children who see everything in their eyes will not be passionate.
The children's voices are sharp and their words are fearless.
They, whose world outlook is still unknown, would not think that it is wrong to laugh at others' achievements, let alone know that this is a matter that is extremely harmful to their peers.
They will never see that the kid who is being laughed at is always trembling slightly.
He is afraid, he shrinks very tightly, his body is stiff, he is unable to resist.
He could only hold on to the test papers that made him extremely ashamed, questioning his stupidity and bad brains.
When all the children and teachers worked together to push him into the abyss, in fact, he also had to push himself down.
—
At the end of the first semester of the first grade of elementary school, they went back to school together to get their transcripts. Xiaolin's team failed all subjects. Even the subject of ideology and morality is too ironic.
For the first time, the Xiaolin team clearly questioned his private Xiaoyu teacher.
He asked, "Why? I stayed up all night to read, why did I still fail?"
Doubts are blowing in the wind, but they can't be blown away.
Seeing the clenched fists of the Xiaolin team, Yushan didn't know what she could say. Could it be that she blamed him and said, "It's because you didn't work hard enough!"
That's just a jerk, not a jerk.
From a very young age, Yu Shan had vaguely realized that all the efforts made by children would not get what they wanted. It's like that no matter how much she pleases her grandparents, she can't be favored by them.
Grandparents only like the uncle's son, even if he is stupid, very rude, and even fists at grandparents. But he can easily get all the love of his grandparents.
Because his attribute is a son, unlike her, her attribute is a daughter.
In the same way, in learning, all the hard work will not be converted into scores.
It is ridiculous that the teachers always vowed to say, "Efforts will definitely make progress."
Another expression of this sentence is, "If you don't make progress, it means you haven't worked hard, or didn't work hard enough."
But no teacher has ever dared to tell the truth, hard work is only a factor in progress.
In addition to hard work, there are some small but strong determinants. Just like in a patriarchal family, the decisive factor for getting pampered is gender, and it will never be a child's obedient child.
In the same way, in terms of learning, foolish efforts to read books have little effect.
However, Yu Shan didn't know what the decisive factor was.