On the morning of the 7th, Li Xiaoen took the bus back to school.
Unlike the big cities, buses in this small city usually have plenty of seats. What's more, 521 road is the direction from the city center to the old city, even more so.
After getting in the car, Li Xiaoen walked directly to the last row. From the window seat on the left, he looked out of the city’s mother river—Mianjiang.
After being seated, Li Xiaoen took out his mobile phone and earphones from his schoolbag. This pair of headphones was bought on the 1st day, when the clerk strongly recommended Bluetooth headphones to her. The clerk said that it is convenient and practical and has many benefits.
But what about the benefits, Li Xiaoen just didn't want it. She just wants wired ear cords.
Wired ones are great!
So far she has not dared to delve into her own heart. Because the wired one is good, there are careful thoughts behind it. Careful thinking that dare not say it boldly.
All of Hua Chenyu's songs have been downloaded to her mobile phone, and she has listened to them all at least once. And since yesterday, she started to loop only one song, which is her favorite among all the songs.
That song, I heard it with him that day-I shared the same pair of headphones.
She looked out of the car window, her eyes flashed through the trees and vehicles outside the window, and some doubts about life came to her ears.
[Sleeping in the night in fear
I'm lonely hiding in the hustle and bustle
In the vast universe
Like a mayfly]
Mayfly, for Chinese students, most of the first time they came into contact with it was Su Shi's "Former Chibi Fu". The sentence in it "Send a mayfly to the sky and the earth, a drop in the ocean."
Li Xiaoen still remembered that the Chinese teacher explained at the time that this sentence expresses the shortness of life and the insignificance of human beings. Regarding "Mayfly", the teacher said, an insect with a short lifespan.
"A kind of insect with a short lifespan", one sentence has passed.
Yup! The exam will not test what a "mayfly" is. Who cares what "mayfly" is.
It was also yesterday that Li Xiaoen had a hundred degrees. Only then did he know what a mayfly is. I also know how much the ancients liked this small and dying insect.
Why do you like it? Probably because of thinking of myself!
There are many ancient poems about "mayfly", the one that makes Li Xiaoen the most profound is, "I don't know the syllabus, I don't intend to spring and autumn. What can I do if I take a full day? The drama is overwhelmed and left behind, why the rivers and lakes are the trips. "
Li Xiaoen's own understanding is: no intention of spring and autumn, contentment. Why bother about the rivers and lakes, just swim.
What a realm this is!
Li Xiaoen couldn't know. She doesn't even know what the so-called arena is.
She only knew that for herself, she would care about her little test paper score.
Ok! She is indeed inferior to a small insect.
She is more stubborn, she is pessimistic and terrified, and she is unable to confess her surroundings.
What she wants is to get it. The university you want to be admitted to is that you must be admitted.
So why does she have to understand a mayfly that "will die and grow old overnight"
Disdainful, but still want to understand, this is Li Xiaoen.
That song was looped several times, she didn't know. She didn't know a few stops after the bus.
There are people sitting in the seat next to her, and she doesn't even know.
The scenery on her side was almost the same. She turned to look at the other side, trying to confirm how far she had gone. However, as soon as he turned his head, he was frightened by the people around him.
Without warning, he also turned his head, the eyes of the two people suddenly faced each other, and each other was startled.
The sights met and bumped gently.
Now that they have met, they will knock something down.
At that moment, Li Xiaoen's face suddenly became hot.
Li Xiaoen subconsciously took down the left earphone, and in a daze, he handed the earphone to him in a daze.
Sean looked at her, did not speak, took the headset and put it in the left ear.
As soon as he got in the car, he saw her after swiping the card.
The sunlight outside the window was dappledly reflected on her face, and as the vehicle moved, the light moved on her face. Her hair glowed golden in the sun, and the white thread in her hair was even more eye-catching.
The young man subconsciously took off his earphones and put them back in his schoolbag, with a mood that he could not be sure of, quietly sitting next to her. I want to wait for her to discover herself.
He looked at the time specially, all right! In the end, it took more than ten minutes to be discovered by her.
During this time, Sean kept thinking, what song would she listen to? Then I was a bit blamed for saying too much at the time, and I just said it without understanding her. For example, what kind of songs does she like
So when the earphones were just close and had not been put on, but the singing had been faintly heard, Sean's heart knocked heavily.
This is "Mayfly" by Hua Chenyu.
So, did she listen to it after he introduced her to it that day? Or does she like it in the first place
No matter which kind, it will make him surprised and happy. If it is not a priority, he hopes it will be the former.
After Xiao En froze for a few seconds, he turned to look at her, she was still looking out the window, and he could see too. But he didn't understand why she could watch this boring scenery for so long.
Sean asked her: "What are you looking at? So serious."
Li Xiaoen turned her head after being petrochemical for a full three seconds. During these three seconds, she admitted that she had not dared to delve into the psychology these few days.
The wireless headset is not good. The downside is that the music can't be shared with another person through the same wire.
She just wants to buy wired earphones because she wants to share with the person who shared earphones with her for the first time—connecting to the same wire to share the songs of his favorite singers.
That wish... has it come true? !
Li Xiaoen's heart was already overwhelmed, but she was still very calm. She took out her small notebook rationally and calmly and wrote:
[If a mayfly is born, what else can I do? 】
She had been thinking about this question, but couldn't think of an answer.
Xiao En replied: "As the narrator said,'You are like a mayfly, why can't the brave be fearless?' So just like a madman, try to break free!"
Yup! This is what modern young people should have!
How is it possible in the ancient people's idea of "no intention of spring and autumn, but contentment." In the modern age where everything is developing rapidly, how can it be possible
[Then what if it fails? 】
Sean lowered his head and said, "I don't know either."
Just like he decided to quit school and re-read this matter, he didn't think too much about the final result. He just believes that it is a deadly truth, but it is not what he really wants, so he doesn't want it. Just try to get what you want.
"I only know that it doesn't belong to me. Then I will desperately break free. As for the final result, at least that is not what I should consider at present."
Li Xiaoen grabbed the words of his sentence and simplified it into one sentence in his heart:
The final result is not what I should consider at present.
Li Xiaoen thought, perhaps she had misunderstood the ancient saying.
She didn't really understand the sentence, "How can I take a full day?"
Although life is short, even if it is as short as one day, as long as you "take enough", you will have no regrets. Why not ask for more!
Li Xiaoen wrote: [Why bother about the rivers and lakes, just swim. 】
Sean shook his head, he didn't understand.
Li Xiaoen continued to write: [Why care about the result, just break free. 】
Li Xiaoen smiled at Xiao En, and she understood her previous self even more. Before that, she fell into a certain kind of very biased obsession-felt that not being admitted to that university meant that her 12-year study career was in vain.
Such obsessions made her trap herself in a net.
She now finally understands that what represents her 12 years of hard work should not be the last admission letter from the university, but herself.
She had already grown from the ridiculed "Wannian 46" scum to the first in grade, and from the first to the only person who was admitted to the junior high school of the first high school in that year.
Back then, the class with 46 classmates had long been left in the river of time.
The ridicule about the penultimate "Million Years 46" that year hadn't hurt her anymore. And the vow that she secretly made that year-to be admitted to the best university in the country, shouldn't restrict her life anymore and make her painful!
It shouldn't be like this.
For the first time, Li Xiaoen made it clear that in the past 12 years of student life, she had made a mistake-she just blindly proved to those people that she was not "Wan Nian 56", and therefore lost herself.
Together they understood in silence, in that song-why bother about "jianghu", just swimming.