"Do you regret it?" Xiao En asked, turning his head to look at Li Xiaoen.
For a senior high school student, there is a lot of doubt about rereading this kind of question, especially when the grades are very unsatisfactory.
But Li Xiaoen shook his head without even thinking about it.
"why?"
Li Xiaoen couldn't tell why, but if she asked in another way, such as "If you choose again, would you still choose to reread this path?", she would definitely nod. So, from the perspective of "regret", she would shake her head.
Sean said: "I have no regrets, because not everything in life has to be maximized, so it's called a machine, it's not life."
After a pause, he went on to say, "But sometimes, looking at the circle of friends I originally posted by my college classmates, wonderful activities, free life, and holiday trips. And these I could have had, but now I want to Confined to this small school, I will suffer for another year. When this happens, I will regret it."
In fact, no matter how determined you are at the beginning, once you face a bad result, your initial belief will be shaken.
This time, Sean did not do well in the exam, which was more than ten points worse than last year's exam! So based on such results, what universities can be admitted this year! He dare not think.
"Do you know how I made the decision?"
Li Xiaoen shook his head.
"I made such a decision at the time. It's not right. I always make this decision." Sean tried to say in a very relaxed tone. "I just set myself an impossible thing to break through. , And then decided whether or not to do it based on the final result. I went for a run and told myself if there is a way to run 8 kilometers, then do it! I could only run 5 kilometers at a time before."
When running, Sean will start thinking about a lot of things.
For example, previous experiences, things that were obtained, and things that were not obtained. In the end, I just kept entangled, what will be the consequences of doing or not doing this thing? What will other family members feel? But at the end, the body didn't allow him to do extra consumption, only breathing and stepping away.
At that time, he was already very tired, and of course he would tell himself that he would stop running one more lap! But in the end, he reached the limit of his body.
When I stopped, it was almost 9 kilometers.
"Persistence" can be very simple, as long as you clearly know why you are doing this, so it is easy to stick to it. So I just run a few more laps and do a few more papers. Small things can make me feel fulfilled.
And the sense of accomplishment makes me a little more sure of myself, and by the way, I like it more.
Xiao En said: "Anyway, I think I have failed the exam, so I did it all over again."
Li Xiaoen stared at him suspiciously. After Xiao En glanced at him, he turned his head away and said slowly, "You want to ask me why I said this to you! Actually, there is no reason, just want to tell you.
I don't even want to get your understanding or comfort. Think of me as if I choked on pepper suddenly and must sneeze! It's just a natural physical movement. "
They all know that the more they grow up, the more timid and the more taboos they have. So they all learned to be introverted, and learned to hide a lot of thoughts in layers.
The forbidden zone in my heart is getting bigger and bigger, and some words that can be confided will be hidden and tucked extremely carefully. Will not talk to anyone easily, because I am too afraid of ridicule and incomprehension.
Li Xiaoen handed him the notebook he carried with him, and she wrote on it:
[I can understand, really! 】
Just after Xiao En read it and wanted to respond to something, Li Xiaoen took the notebook back and added one more sentence at the end.
[Actually, I am very jealous of your courage. I'm very jealous and jealous, because I know too well that this is something I don't have. Few people in the world will throw away the good things they get!
Of course, I am not mapping you stupid. I even think that you are so sober to the point of terrifying. 】
After Sean read it, he immediately felt very comfortable.
That kind of comfort is not because someone finally understands him, but because someone finally sees him.
Behind the surface is stupid, there is a certain ability to measure.
He knows too well that success in life is measured by standing on a long span of life, not a short period of time. He also knew too well that his innate advantage was there, and how unpredictable depth he could achieve in that field. This is why his father is willing to support him.
Sean decided not to speak anymore and just communicate in this silent way.
He swishly wrote, [Where is the scary? 】
The gap between words is very large and scribbled.
Li Xiaoen raised his eyes to look at him for a short while before taking over the notebook.
Four characters, occupying a4 size paper. What a waste of paper!
[You have your own standards for the so-called success in life. I don't know what the specific standard is, but I know there must be one thing. It is not short-sighted, and its measurement line is very long, even spanning the entire life. 】
After reading it, Sean deliberately wrote horizontally and vertically, writing down squarely, in the font of a very young student [You are also quite terrible. 】
This person's usual handwriting is pretty good! on purpose
When Li Xiaoen saw that sentence, he still had no expression, nor did he catch the little book.
Sean stared at her and said, "Only a terrible person can see through a terrible person, isn't it?"
Li Xiaoen thought about it seriously, why did he use the word "terrible"
However, such words are extremely vivid and just right to describe a person like Sean who is sober and decisive and capable.
【I'm not. I'm just stubborn. 】
Sean shook his head, "You are not stubborn like that, you know why you do it, don't you?"
Li Xiaoen turned his head to look at Xiao En. The profile of the young man's face was clear, even if they were buried in the night.
She knew that it wasn't at the beginning, but it was later.
because of him.
What should I say
Probably because he let her as a nerd understand that the growth of students should not be just grades, these quantifiable things. There should also be other things, such as the concept of incomparable nothingness that cannot be quantified and evaluated, such as knowing yourself—knowing what you hate about yourself, but also learning to like something about yourself. For Li Xiaoen, these must be seen through the perspective of others.
Sean is such a perspective for her.
Later, Li Xiaoen recalled that this year, she always liked to add a prefix-stolen.
That year I met someone in secret, and then re-recognized myself and youth.
This is the sentimental Xiaoen's view of that year.
And the rational Sean said that in fact, there are many things that he can not make decisions when he grows up. However, this very rebellious thing back then was completely determined by him.
And for some decisions, whether they are right or not is not something that can be judged at the moment of the decision.
It needs time to verify, and the person who needs to make the decision gambles on the courage and time to give it a name.