It's about childhood.
"...At that time, my mother didn't like me very much, because I was a girl." Looking at the sky, Su Tan'er said softly after laughing, "She has always hoped...
In the future, I can have a boy for my father, and my father also thinks so, but my father is at least warm to me. He said that I am smart, and a younger brother will definitely be smarter in the future. My father always looked at me to see what my younger brother would look like in the future, but my mother didn't even want to see it. At that time, I used to stick to my mother, but my mother ignored me. []
Sometimes when I did something wrong and annoyed her, she didn't beat me, she just waved to the nurse to take me away. Xianggong, the biggest contempt in this world is this kind of thing...
Later, I knew that my mother wanted a younger brother. At first, I even hated my younger brother a little bit, and I didn't understand the difference between a girl and a girl." On the lower abdomen, watching the white clouds scattered in the evening. Ning Yi originally closed his eyes and smiled, but now he opened them: "It's okay, they don't like us, and we don't like her either. "Oh, I don't have to like my mother, but my husband can't, or I will be stabbed in the spine, saying that my son-in-law is not filial. Ning Yi turned his head, looked at her for a while, and said solemnly, "They can't scold me." "Pfft." Su Tan'er couldn't help covering her mouth. After a moment, she looked at the sky and spoke again.
"I was kind of weird among girls. After reading some books, I didn't think it was human nature like the ladies did, but I felt that my father and mother were not treating me well, and it was not fair at all. I was there. Growing up with the nanny in the big house, on the one hand, I feel that I want to be a boy who will make my father and mother regret, and take care of the family business. Learn everything well, or else you will prove that you actually envy those boys, so you will lose?"
Ning Yi stretched out a hand to pick up a dead grass stem for her, Su Tan'er's voice was leisurely: "Growing up in such a home, the nurse was kind to me when I was a child, always saying that we are a big family, and I am everyone. A girl is envied by everyone. But when I was sensible, I realized that there is nothing to envy. My father doesn't like me, and my mother doesn't like me either. If it weren't for the fact that the family was too big, if I had an older brother on top of me, my father and mother wouldn't have that much pressure, and I wouldn't have been left out. Became like them, that family... impersonal..."
"I... Concubine, I'm not a lady, I just follow others to learn and learn, in fact, it's not like. Concubine likes poetry, but I'm not good at writing, and I don't know how to read it, so I told myself that I need to learn at that time. Yes, there are too many different things in business, and I don’t have time at all. Actually, I don’t like poetry at all. I just like the feeling of being sought after by others. I think, don't have children in the future. If you have a child and don't raise it well, she will be like me, blaming me for being a mother, but what should I do..."
"The standard is too high, no one will simply like poetry, you will be a good mother." Ning Yi interjected.
Su Tan'er shook her head and smiled: "When I was 14 or 15 years old, I didn't want to get married, so I kept procrastinating and procrastinating, and then when I really couldn't drag it on, I chose my husband." She tilted her head and looked at Ning Yi, who was lying beside him, said, "But it wasn't sincere at that time.
Chan went to take care of her husband, but she ran away on the day they got married, and didn't come back until a few days later. Although she lived with her in the back, she didn't have too much respect for her husband..." "Isn't it already good? "Su Tan'er shook her head on the grass, her expression became calm, just a little natural smile: "No." When she said this, her voice was slightly choked up, "It's not very good, it's just a concubine Pretend to be like a lady, and to be very knowledgeable, just like pretending to like poetry. Concubine... just thinking about myself, thinking about keeping my husband stable, making this home look like a home, and not being pricked in the spine by others, that's enough, concubine didn't think about my husband,..."
"Women are so troublesome..."
"..., but now I think about it."
The two people's voices rang together, Ning Yi was muttering bored, and Su Tan'er was a whisper in a slightly choked sob.
After speaking, he couldn't help but chuckle at the words, Ning Yi closed his eyes and put his palms across, his fingers almost hit Su Tan'er's cheek, Su Tan'er tilted her head, closed her eyes slightly, and leaned her cheek against the In his hand, he felt the touch of his fingers.
The two have always been decisive people, and they don't like to be pretentious. When they are together, of course, there are romantic conversations such as Xiaolou Yechao, which seems to be romantic in this era. But in fact, Su Tan'er was very affectionate, and when they communicated with each other in the small building, they all spoke in a natural manner, and there were not many sweet words. Later, the Su family suffered a catastrophe, and their relationship grew by leaps and bounds. When Su Taner burned the building and consummated the house, although there were occasional sweet words, they were basically in the middle.
Su Tan'er's youngest daughter is rarely seen, and they are both powerful people. Even if they are really flirting, they will stop. It's just these two days, after learning of her pregnancy and Ning Yi's injury, although she silently stayed by Ning Yi's side and didn't say anything nonsense, but at this time, she really opened her mouth to talk about these things that she thought she didn't need to care about. Something to vent.
"The concubine now knows that Xianggong has all the things that happened at that time in his heart, and the detours that his wife thought about in her mind and body, she probably couldn't hide it from her husband, it's really embarrassing to think about it... At that time, the concubine thought that Xianggong was a stupid scholar, read A few nerds, can't think about things, can't deal with people and things, just think... As long as you can control Xianggong, how can you be a concubine's opponent like a silly scholar like Xianggong?"
Ning Yi smiled: "Not now."
"Xianggong's heart is open-minded, maybe he thinks that is human nature. But concubine is now thinking, if these can be repeated, concubine must treat Xianggong well, concubine... If you want to learn to be a real lady, you want to be a husband. Godson, concubine does not want to marry Xianggong at the age of 18, and let others say that Xianggong married a sassy old girl. It would be great if she married Xianggong when she was fourteen and fifteen years old. … all things are different, the concubine will not drag her husband to Hangzhou recklessly…”
Although Su Tan'er was a little choked up when she said the previous words, she was calm. It was only when she said the last sentence that she finally really cried. She clenched her fists with both hands and placed her by her side, trembling slightly, crying violently. This woman has always been arrogant. Although she is introverted under the appearance of gentleness, her outlook on life is almost as sharp as that of Ning Yi. Once something happens, she will only seek a solution first, and regret it. Emotions, at best, can only be called induction or reflection. But at this time, knowing that the road was difficult, and that her husband's injury was likely to be implicated by the long journey, she felt guilty for such emotions.
Ning Yi sighed, moved, moved, and leaned over to his wife, Su Tan'er grabbed his clothes, gritted his teeth, and wept.
"There is still a chance for the Lous to go back." Ning Yi said.
Su Tan'er has already started crying: "I want to have a child for Xianggong now, I want to have a husband and a child, I don't want to be brave anymore, I don't want to do business anymore, I don't want to be myself anymore, but now I want to be without this child now. Well, it will be different if I don't have it now. I have seen Xianggong doing those things in the past two days. I am desperately trying to get out. I know that Xianggong is under the pressure of responsibility. Although the responsibility of Xianggong without children will be the same, but I am really afraid. Now... The doctor said that Xianggong's injury needs peace of mind, that he needs to rest, and then rely on his own body to survive. Xianggong, you are working so hard to escape, how can your body survive...
I have some advice, but I know I can't persuade at all..." She cried a lot beside Ning Yi, and she was so depressed, so her body trembled so much: "In the past two days, Xianggong has been asking those people about things, planning those things, I'm by Xianggong's side... I can't bear to say anything when I'm beside Xianggong, and there are always many people telling me in my heart that it's useless to say it, it's useless to say it, it just makes you more annoying, you can't make you worry about doing things and worrying at the same time I.
But I thought, if only I were like those ordinary women, I just cried and shouted that you are not allowed to do this, and then I don't need to worry about anything..." Ning Yi patted her on the shoulder: "You know that too. It's useless to say..."
"When I can't help it..." Su Tan'er sucked her nose. "When I can't help it, I will hide in the tent, sit for a while, and stop myself from crying. Chan'er and the others have cried several times. Over and over, they want to come over to persuade you, but I will block them. I don't want you to have to talk to them and persuade them. I won't tell you useless words, and I don't want you to waste my physical strength. Drop... I didn't want to tell you this at all..."
After she said this, she cried in a low voice, but it was better than before. Ning Yi waited for a while and said, "I'll get better."
Su Taner moaned her tears, but the tears were still falling, leaning on his mouth, nodded and said, "You must get better, if you don't get better, I won't be able to meet such a husband, and I don't want the child anymore. I don't want my family anymore... I wasn't a good mother in the first place, and I have done things that ruined other people's homes... Xianggong, please remember, I have your child in my stomach, you are very tired now, but you can't If you’re tired, you have to endure it. But it doesn’t matter if you can’t make it, we’ll go down to find you…”
She stared at Ning Yi with her eyes open, Sakura pursed tightly on her gentle face. She is a woman in the shopping mall, and she has always been a quiet style. Because of her delicate appearance, she is only a girl in her early twenties, not like a businessman with a sofa, but at this time, only that In the big eyes that have cried, there is a stubborn breath that has been cultivated in the long-term shopping mall but has always been restrained, mixed with the gentle face, and only conveys a more heartwarming message to the person in front of him: This is yours woman.
Ning Yi smiled: "Don't underestimate your husband, no matter what, I will survive. You have given birth to this child."
Su Tan'er moaned her lower abdomen, then leaned on Ning Yi. She grabbed Ning Yi's shirt with her other hand and closed her eyes. She seemed to be muttering something or praying, but the mountain wind came over , can't hear the specific words.
The clouds flowed in the sky, the sunset glow burned the sky and the mountains and rivers, and the night fell, and the army began to operate busy in the camp of the fugitives. The next day they pulled out the camp again, and the chasing troops at the rear were actually not too far from here. As the noon approached, they began to get a message from the lonely refugees. Right in front of them, the largest fleeing team , the infighting started... ! .