Mo Yu felt that the memories that came to her were like a trickle at first, then a flowing stream, and finally a rushing river. Her memories of the past eighteen years poured into her mind like a torrent of water, entangled and confused with the memories of the next five years, and finally connected together.
She remembered many, many things.
Zhou He was born in the south. Her parents worked in the city, but she was raised by her grandparents in her rural hometown in Fuyang, Anzheng. Her grandparents always wanted to have a grandson. Although they liked their granddaughter, they didn't spend much effort to discipline her. When she was young, Zhou He played outside with other children.
The family had always hoped to have another boy. When Zhou He was four years old, her mother gave birth to a younger brother. She suddenly felt that the focus of the family shifted to her younger brother.
Whenever Zhou He saw her grandparents holding her younger brother, she would inevitably feel a sense of loss when she saw the happiness overflowing from the bottom of her heart. She learned to fight like a little boy, she cut off her braids, and she tried to pee standing up, but all she got in return was the ridicule and scolding of adults. So later, she vented her anger on her younger brother. She smeared mud on his face, scared him with earthworms and frogs, and secretly fed him chili sauce. Because of these mischievous things, she was beaten by her father and grandfather many times. Grandpa was a veteran, and he was very heavy-handed when he beat people, but Zhou He never tired of bullying her younger brother to fight against her grandfather. The more she was beaten, the more she bullied him.
But as she grew up, her jealousy faded, after all, blood ties are hard to break. Children especially like to play with older children. When Zhou He is outside, her younger brother is always her follower. Gradually, her younger brother's position in her mind becomes more and more important.
"Sister, please take me with you to watch them fight."
"If you call me brother, I will take you there."
"If grandpa hears you, he'll beat you again."
"Stop talking nonsense and call secretly."
She often took her younger brother to fight and play with other children from the same village. The children from the east end of the village were one group, and the children from the west end were another group.
She and her brother played with the children from East Village. Although she was not very strong and was a girl, she dared to fight. She relied on the fact that the little boys were cautious about girls and was quite combative. At this time, there was no reason for adults to tell these wild children what to do. Zhao Ke, the leader of the children in East Village, was tall and strong among the children. He often took Zhou He to bully the children from West Village. The two sides often fought in groups. If they met a lone child, they would be beaten by the other side.
Zhao Ke always protected her and said that she would be his wife in the future. At this time, Zhou He would always say, "I don't want to be your wife. I'm more like your brother."
There are always children who don’t know the truth and ask, “Aren’t you a girl?”
Zhou He would always retort, saying, "Nonsense, I'm obviously a man, I can pee standing up!"
At this time, Zhou He found that there seemed to be two voices in her heart. One voice thought that being a girl was also good. The other voice thought that she should be a man. She learned the name of her uncle and gave herself a male name, Zhou He.
When his younger brother was four years old, Zhou He was already eight years old.
One day, when Zhou He took him out to play, they passed by a road by the river. Zhou He told him not to get close to the river, but to walk inside. At this time, two children from the west end of the village passed by here. They had just been bullied by Zhao Ke a few days ago. He beat them to their knees and begged for mercy, and they even crawled into Zhou He's crotch. At that time, Zhou He and her brother were cheering beside them. Zhao Ke also asked them to crawl into Zhou He's crotch. Zhou He was laughing happily at the time, but when she encountered this, she knew she was in trouble.
The two men surrounded Zhou He and started to make trouble with her. Zhou He shouted, "I'm watching my brother. Don't bother me." But the two men grabbed her, pulled her hair, and said they would make Zhao Ke's little bitch drink urine. Zhou He was a girl and had little strength, so she was pushed to the ground. She looked at her brother from the ground and found that he was terrified and fled to the river in panic.
She yelled, "Let me go! My brother is running towards the river. He is still young and might fall in."
But the two kids didn't listen to what she said. One held her down, and the other unzipped his pants and was about to pee on her head with a playful smile. At this moment, they all heard the sound of a splash. Zhou He grabbed a child's leg like crazy and bit it. The child screamed and kicked her away. But the two also found something wrong by the river. They were so scared that they didn't know what to do, so they left Zhou He and ran away.
Zhou He ran to the river to look for her brother, but found nothing. Later, the adults searched along the river and found her brother's body downstream. When she returned home, her grandmother cried so hard that she almost fainted, and her grandfather was so angry that he threw things around. He felt that the family was broken, and when he saw Zhou He who was silent, he hit her with a chair in anger. This hit broke her left arm. In the end, it was her grandmother who stopped her grandfather from beating her and sent her to the hospital in the county.
This time, Zhou He didn't particularly hate her grandfather. She felt that if he beat her, she would feel better.
She thought about it, and one voice in her heart said that it was her fault, because she didn't take good care of her brother. But another voice said that it was those troublesome kids from West Village who killed him, and killing someone naturally requires a death penalty, and whoever killed her brother should die.
That night, Zhou He, who was originally asleep, suddenly woke up. At this time, she realized that she was Zhou He. As a man, she naturally wanted to avenge her brother. She took advantage of the fact that her grandparents who were staying with her at night were asleep and sneaked out of the county hospital. She had a plaster cast on her hand and was in great pain, but she endured the pain and walked three kilometers at night and quietly returned to the village.
She secretly took a lighter and some newspapers and firewood from home, went to the two children's home, and set fire to the debris in their yard. It was autumn, the weather was dry, and the fire quickly grew and burned down the two houses.
After setting the two fires, Zhou He fled the village. She deliberately walked along the hillside at the edge of the village and walked all the way to the top of the hill, from where she could clearly see two large fires burning in the two houses.
She saw the neighbors around her hurriedly getting up to put out the fire, she saw the burning people rolling out of the house, she felt a great sense of satisfaction in her heart. She didn't watch for too long before she ran all the way back to the hospital.
Unexpectedly, after she left, her grandmother woke up in the middle of the night and found that she was missing. Her grandparents and the people in the hospital were busy looking for her everywhere in the county town. When she returned to the hospital gate, she was met by her anxious grandparents.
Grandma asked her anxiously, "Where on earth have you been? Are you trying to kill us?"
Zhou He looked at her grandmother and said with tears in her eyes, "I'm afraid that grandpa will beat me again."
Grandma hugged her lovingly and took her back to the hospital. (To be continued)