Chaoyan is still sober. She knows that if you don't love, she doesn't love. There is no way to force herself to love. It's really shameful. Si Yusheng has hurt her so many times, but Chaoyan just can't forget and can't let it go.
The eldest brother is so kind to her, but Chaoyan just couldn’t really feel sincere. I don’t know if he was bitten by a snake once, and he was afraid of the snake for ten years, and he couldn’t talk about feelings anymore, or he was obsessed with the one in the palace. , Turning a blind eye to Big Brother.
In fact, Xia Yun was quite painful. The more he thought about it, the more he thought about it. He owed him nothing and couldn't make up for it, but he didn't want anything. He volunteered.
But if a person wastes his youth on you, you have to give something, so Zhaoyan promised him, since he wants that Zhaoyan, give him a blessing of safety.
After he got married, he would not have a husband and wife with Chaoyan, and he would not arrogate before Chaoyan agreed, but this made Chaoyan feel that he owed him too much, and every time was very tormented.
I feel tormented when I see him, and I still feel tormented when I live in his house. It's okay to be a friend, but when it comes to feelings and looks, I want to avoid it. It feels too heavy. She can't support it and can't afford it.
What's more, she always felt that she was a crippled flower and a willow. Facing Si Yusheng was nothing. Facing Si Wangshu, she felt that she was not worthy of him anyway.
"I regret now that I have promised my eldest brother. This is an abyss that will never be restored. In fact, if I don't agree to reject him, he can stop his thoughts, because sooner or later he will forget me and fall in love with others.
But I let him, I knew he was interesting to me, but I just smiled at him, and even agreed to his request and chose to be with him.
It’s not a husband and wife. We will also pretend to be husband and wife in the future. He will be under great pressure after he marries me. There is no impermeable wall. Sooner or later, these royal secrets will be spread out. Brother will definitely bear it in order to protect me. Many things he shouldn't bear, so I feel more stressed.
So I regret it. I am not greedy for Si Yusheng. After seeing the truth, I feel that I can reunite with him again. I feel that I am sorry for him. I am too sorry for him. Since there is nothing worthy of my nostalgia in this place, I should go. "
Chaoyan is very contradictory. She feels a headache and a splitting headache. These things make her unable to figure out and understand, but there is still a trace of sobriety. She knows that when it is broken, it is broken. Since she can't accept it, she is destined to be unable to accept it in this life. , It’s better to cut it clean now, so as not to drag people, and drag people to give him unrealistic illusions.
Obviously I can't give him anything, so why let him live in this fantasy and be Zheng
So Zhaoyan regretted it, it was one thing to promise, and it was another thing to regret. And since I am here, I feel that I can’t really fall in love with my eldest brother because I owe him, and it seems that I can’t get along with him as easily as before. I don't want to accept Si Yusheng, and want to accept his entanglement, it is better to go back.
Or where there is no place for her in Xia Zhida, there will always be a place to accept her. She is still young and has no emotional bondage at the moment. Father doesn't know where she is, so it's better to walk around and open your eyes. Maybe when I come back, I will have some new insights into life, and I will look at things more openly, have a different perspective, and get a sublimation.