"School, I once wanted to drop out. I didn't want to go there, but if I didn't go, I would feel very uneasy. I thought that if I couldn't go to school for a long time, I would definitely want to go again. It's a strange thought." Shu Ya said with a smile, but that smile looked so weak and heartbreaking in Qin Hao's eyes.
"You know? For ordinary students, the favorite part of school is the break time, but I am different. What I hate the most is rest time. My dream at that time was to finish my studies as soon as possible and graduate from school. I wanted to break away from school and change my identity and join the school as a teacher. I wanted to be a teacher who could listen to what the children were saying, what they were hiding, and what they were telling lies about."
"Before, I didn't understand why they targeted me. I didn't know what I did wrong, and I didn't understand where I offended them. Could it be that a child without parents must make a mistake even breathing? At this point, Shu Ya stood up from Qin Hao's arms, walked to the closet, opened the door, and took out a thick notebook from the corner.
This is an old notebook without any printing, filled with dark clouds, and full of depressive tones. The yellowed pages show its age. Some things are too painful for me to say with my mouth. Only words can do it. Express all this.
Opening a page at random, it says;
Today, Sister Weiwei finally added a chicken leg to the lunch box. It seems that she has not eaten meat for half a month. All the insurance policies left by mom and dad were taken away by those relatives, and Sister Weiwei’s parents didn’t have much left. Although Sister Weiwei has been hiding this from me, I know that she has been working outside after school recently, and this meat meal may be her wages for a few hours.
It was lunch break time, and I was already very hungry. I picked up my lunch box and rushed to the old man in the cafeteria who served us meals. He was a good man and knew the situation at home. He didn’t ask me to pay for the meals every time. . After reheating the meal, I ran to the classroom very happily. I remember that feeling. My body was so light, as if I could fly with just a little effort. However, at this moment, I was seen by Guo Ningxiang and several of her followers. Zhang Xiaoyan skillfully stretched her legs, and I tripped over before I could brake in time, and my lunch box flew out.
Actually, I wanted to protect it, but it seemed that I couldn't reach it with my hands. Almost half the box of rice was spilled out. The dishes that Sister Weiwei cooked when she got up early in the morning were also spilled all over the floor. The chicken legs were gone and turned into ants. food. My hand hit the ground, and it was very bruised. The severe parts were even purple, and my knees were scratched and bleeding. It hurt so much!
Guo Ningxiang and the others, including the classmates passing by, were all laughing, and even deliberately stepped on my lunch box. I really hated it! I am so useless that I dare not resist or fight! I also hate why they target me and bully me. Do children without the protection of their parents have to be bullied and tortured? !
At that moment, I was lying on the ground so helpless. I didn’t even want to get up from the ground, thinking how great it would be if I could just die like this. In this way, not only will I not be bullied anymore, but no one will scold me for not having a tutor, having no parents, and being a bad star. I can still see my parents, how great it is. I really hope someone can help me, even if it just pulls me up, I will be very, very grateful to him. It's a pity, who cares about me, a lonely child
Turn another page;
I'm still not feeling that well today.
I was too afraid of recess time, because there was a teacher in the classroom during class, and no one dared to do anything to me. But as soon as the bell rang, a few boys who didn't like studying came to my place to bully me. They picked up my books and notebooks and used them as flying saucers. They threw them from one end of the classroom to the other. I picked them up and put them on the table. They threw them back and forth. If I didn't pick them up, they threatened to throw me away. The books and notebooks were thrown into the bucket.
Can I still read a book that has been put into a bucket? And in this winter, I think books that have been soaked in water will freeze. I am alone and helpless. Is there any other way out besides letting them play with me
Today I will act like a heartless fool. If they are having fun, they won't steal my things.
Shu Ya reached out and opened a stack of papers at random, and there was another new article:
It’s the third day of school, and today it’s our group’s turn to be on duty. While cleaning, Guo Ningxiang asked me to go to the water room to fetch water. I brought the water back, and a boy said he wanted to sprinkle water on the ground to suppress the dust, but he actually poured the water directly. I splashed it on me and my clothes were all wet~. Then Guo Ningxiang poured all the canned herrings she got from who knows where on me, and laughed and told her classmates that I stunk.
God, can you help me, why do they always target me
If I don’t go to school, no one will bully me. If I stay at home, the world will be peaceful.
But I can't do this. Sister Weiwei works hard to earn money in her spare time. She doesn't sleep well every day just to save enough tuition for two people. I can't waste Sister Weiwei's hard-earned money. I have to go to school.
next page;
Today the head teacher asked me to go to her office and asked me why I always don't wear school uniforms recently. Why? It’s not because they always graffitied on my clothes, splashed water and tore them, I couldn’t wear clothes that were covered in ink or smelly to class, right
The class teacher asked me if I was being bullied. I hesitated. She asked me before and I didn’t dare to say anything. But this time, I really couldn’t stand it anymore, so I told the teacher all these things. The teacher told me to rest assured that she would find a way to help me solve it and teach the bad classmates who bullied me a lesson. I believed it. I felt that as a teacher and an adult, she would not lie to a little girl like me.
After school, I was blocked by Guo Ningxiang and the others in the school woods. I was beaten. They slapped me, pulled my clothes, and threatened to find someone to rape me. I was really scared of being beaten. When I was young, I wanted to die again. I felt that living like this was so boring, and that there was no point in living such a life.
Later, the class teacher didn't come to see me again. Every time I saw her, she turned a blind eye to me, and the matter was ignored, and I was bullied even more. I heard people say that Guo Ningxiang's family seems to be very powerful and not something that ordinary people can afford to offend, so the teacher must have backed down.
Seeing this, Shu Ya burst into tears. She reached out her hand again and wanted to turn the page, but Qin Hao suddenly grabbed her wrist.
He raised his head slightly and saw Qin Hao's expression was extremely angry. His eyes were full of distress and pity as he looked at her and shook his head; "Don't turn over anymore, it's enough, enough, enough..."
These were just a few days in her six years of life. It is conceivable that during those six years, except for winter and summer holidays, Shuya suffered such campus bullying and insults every day, and some were even excessive and serious.
Think about it, such a thing is unbearable for an adult, let alone a weak and helpless girl. With such a life experience, how could Shu Ya not feel inferior or timid? Her refusal to interact with people was just a means of self-protection that she was used to.
Qin Hao knew that Shu Ya suffered from campus bullying, and that her six-year experience was painful and gloomy. However, only after seeing it with his own eyes and hearing it with his own ears did he know what kind of life it was like.
He held Shu Ya's little hand hard, his eyes were slightly red, and what was contained in them was not tears, but a raging murderous intention; "Honey, you have been wronged. My heart is almost clenched into a ball now, I saw the devil beside you, but there were no angels to protect you. I can't help you change the past, but please rest assured that from now on, there will be no more devils around you. Because the biggest devil has been killed by you Surrendered!" (To be continued)