Looking at Ruxue's face from a long distance, I was in a daze for a moment, and even forgot to answer Ruxue's question.
Hui Gen'er, on the other hand, cheered, jumped up to Ru Xue in a few steps, and said loudly: "Sister Ru Xue, Sister Irene is leaving safely and without worries." After saying that, Hui Gen'er naturally hugged her. As clear as snow.
No wonder Hui Gen'er is so enthusiastic. He hasn't seen Ruxue for many years. He once owed Ruxue to him, but now he is tall enough to naturally hold Ruxue's shoulders.
Ruxue smiled faintly, looked at Huigen'er, and said: "Grown up." There was no more unnecessary expressions and emotions.
This is Ruxue, who has always been very weak in expressing her emotions and likes to suppress everything in her heart. She has not changed after so many years.
Maybe it was because the mountain breeze was really cold. Ruxue hugged her shoulders unconsciously. My heart felt inexplicably distressed. I finally recovered from my inexplicable state and walked forward in a few steps, almost without thinking. , he naturally took off his thin coat and put it on Ruxue's body.
Ruxue was slightly startled, her calm eyes became complicated, but she still didn't refuse and let my coat fall on her body.
When Hui Gen'er saw this, he made a face, stuck out his tongue, and said in a bouncing voice: "I'm going back to play my game console. I'm thinking about completing the level." After that, he ran away.
I just don’t understand, is that game console with a black and white screen so fun? But the next moment, I knew that Hui Gen'er had grown up and understood many things. He wanted to give Ruxue and me a chance to be alone together.
As soon as Hui Gen'er left, Ruxue and I didn't know what to say. Under the cool moonlight, we walked silently on the bluestone road in the village. There were many emotions flowing between the two of us, but we just couldn't speak, as if Just opening your mouth will destroy the atmosphere at this time.
Ruxue lives at the top of the mountain. As the most familiar guest of Yueyan Miao Village, I was naturally arranged at the top of the mountain. The road up the mountain was originally very long, but in my opinion, it seemed very short, just in the blink of an eye. Arrived at the top of the mountain.
When I'm with her, I always feel like time flies by, just like that dreamlike half a year.
"Put on your clothes. It's cold on the top of the mountain. I'll go back first." Ruxue took off the coat she was wearing and returned it to me calmly.
This gesture makes me a little sad. Obviously we are not such strangers and need polite people.
"Let's go for a walk, to that hillside." I pointed to a hillside in the distance, which was where Ruxue and I often went when we were together.
When I said these words, my heart beat very fast, just like when I confessed my love to Ruxue, I was afraid that she would reject it.
But Ruxue didn't reject me after all. She said 'hmm' and walked towards the hillside with me.
I don’t want to be so silent anymore, even though I know that Ruxue and I are like two people looking at each other on the edge of a cliff, looking very close to each other, but can no longer get closer.
"I didn't see that girl Ruxue when I came this time." I had nothing to say. In fact, I knew that Ruyue had very little time in the village. She was busy with company affairs outside.
"She's busy." Ruxue answered simply, but I didn't know how to answer the call.
After walking in silence for a while, we came to the familiar hillside.
The moonlight shines on the hillside. In summer, the mountain flowers are in season, and they are so beautiful under the moonlight that they are intoxicating.
But I was in a daze, and my thoughts always went back to the afternoon of that year. In the sunshine, Ruxue and I always loved to come here. Ruxue sat on the thick lawn, with me pillowing her legs, and often fell asleep like this. With.
Such emotions make me weak. I know that I can't meet Ruxue in the place I love, but knowing doesn't necessarily mean I can resist, right
I almost blurted out: "Have you been successful in finding the Gu?"
"Ah?" Ruxue didn't respond.
I turned around, looked into Ruxue's eyes, and said word for word: "I come to the village to live for a month almost every year, but no matter which month I come, you are always not there. The answer is the same, you are I went to look for poisonous insects and medicinal herbs. So, let me ask, did your search go smoothly?"
Ruxue's expression was still calm, but there was a slight sadness in her eyes. Then soon, even her eyes returned to calm, and she said: "Chengyi, you shouldn't care about this."
I understand the meaning of her words. She is telling me that I shouldn't care about this. She will avoid me. Our status is no longer suitable for such care.
I was very upset. I always thought I was very restrained, but when I saw her like this here, I became very childish again, just like all the childish anger, concealment, impulsiveness in Heiyan Miao Village back then...
I took out a cigarette, lit it, and simply lay down on the grass, looking at the cold moon. I said: "I don't care, I am very restrained. I have always done it, haven't I? It's just very hard."
Ruxue did not leave, but sat beside me. The wind blew her long hair slightly, and the fragrance was still so familiar. She looked at the moon like me, and Ruxue said softly: "It was all hard, but back then The choice is ours, and half a year is what we want, so just accept the hard work."
"Do you blame me for insisting on being with you for half a year?" I asked as the cigarette smoke dispersed in front of my eyes.
"No blame, no regrets, this life is enough." Ruxue answered simply.
"Why can you watch a movie with me every year, and occasionally see me in other cities, but not here?" In fact, I know the answer, but I still want to ask, even I can't understand the childishness of men. .
"Don't be childish, don't you know that memories are too heavy?" Ruxue smiled faintly, maybe she was laughing at my childishness again. Under the moonlight, her smile was so charming, and it always reminded me of her. There is a word in the song "Flying Light" that I sang in my ears, and there is snow falling in the clouds.
How beautiful would it be with snow falling in the clouds? I stared at Ruxue in a daze.
Ruxue turned her head slightly. After so many years, she is still a little shy when facing me, and my heart is still the same as before. My heart always beats when I see her, and I always fall in love with her without knowing it.
"Tell me about your recent affairs." Ruxue hugged her knees and asked suddenly. Maybe there is an ambiguous flow between us and we need to cut it off quickly because we can't bear it.
"There have been a lot of things recently..." How could I not understand what Ruxue meant? I had nothing to hide from her. I told her about the recent things, including the ghost market, Shen Xing, Brother Chengxin, everything. Everything was told to Ruxue.
"Maybe Shen Xing loves Chengxin, but she doesn't dare to face such feelings. She can't deny that the deep affection she had before may just be a family-like existence, maybe it's just touching, maybe it's just like. There is always a distance between like and love. ." Ruxue did not comment on other things, only Shen Xing said this.
I have to admit that what she said makes sense. Family affection, liking, and touching are always at a distance from love. However, she loved her so much that she dared not admit it. She wanted to choose, but she still gave up Brother Chengxin at the last moment. Emotionally How can we control and arrange the complexity and helplessness of worldly affairs
"Death is actually not brave." I said.
"However, living together may not mean happiness. Because she will always feel guilty in her heart. If this happens for a long time, it will also be torture for Brother Chengxin."
"So, are you saying that her death is the best ending?" I was a little confused, but maybe women understand women better.
"Of course it's not the best ending. The best ending is another kind of bravery. That kind of bravery is to completely let go. That's really brave, not ruthless." Ruxue said softly.
"Then tell me, are we brave?" I suddenly wanted to ask Ruxue.
"We? We are very brave, but we are also not brave." Ruxue hugged her knees, her hair flying gently, like an elf under the moon, so beautiful, but the words she spoke were so bitter.
Of course we are brave enough to let go of our desire to stay with each other for the sake of righteousness in our hearts. But we are not brave either. We cannot let go of our love for each other. For so many years, we have been missing each other in torment.
This sentence made us all silent.
Finally I asked, "Do you want to go to the movies with me this year?"
"Yes, but let's change a place. My name is Ruxue, and I always want to see snow." Ruxue rarely goes out, but this is a place where it doesn't snow very much, or even not at all.
"Okay, let's go to the north to watch a movie. It's always snowing there in winter. It's snowing. The tinny sound is nice and quiet..." I said.
"North? You just said you were going to the old forests of the Northeast. Can you take me with you then?" Ruxue said suddenly.
I was stunned for a moment, this huge happiness suddenly hit me!