Tong'er lit the incense, and a long white line curled up in the spring sunshine, exuding a faint and elegant fragrance.
This incense was concocted by Cheng Jia in Lingjia Village back then.
At that time, there was a shortage of spices in the Great Zhou Dynasty, to the point where a little frankincense cost tens of taels of silver, but in her place, even Bai Duxie was thrown in the warehouse.
Maybe it's getting old. Recently, I often think of those years and the time when I was young.
Last night, I had a dream again, as if I went back to that year when I saw her for the first time, her face was hidden in the broken light of the sun, only the bright smile on the corner of her mouth and the hairpin on her hair were abnormal under the sun eye-catching.
I knew it was a dream, because when I saw her for the first time, she was standing in the store, and the sunlight couldn't get in at all. Moreover, she didn't wear the hairpin on her head at that time, but put it on the counter. Then it was taken away by my sister's maid.
I think, what I dreamed was just my thoughts. If Sange Zhao hadn't forcibly snatched the hairpin back then, if I had walked in and saw her and recognized her, would our story be different...
Ten years between life and death, without thinking, never forgetting...
She said this word by chance once. At that time, Su Hexiang and I were discussing political affairs with her. The two of us couldn't settle down. She didn't make a sound. She just looked at the sharp lotus horns on the water pavilion, and then murmured Murmur read it out.
I know who she misses, from Yan San to Ye Shiyi, there are many people she misses, but there will be no me.
Now, ten years have passed, but I understand her mood every day.
Ten years of life and death, without thinking, never forgetting.
There is no trace in the dream every night, and there is only a thousand lines of tears when I wake up from the dream.
Sometimes I often think, if I was like Cheng Jia back then, would she have accepted me and fell in love with me, but then I could only smile bitterly, I couldn’t be like Cheng Jia, I couldn’t be like Cheng Jia Knowing her that way, Cheng Jia knew her to understand her, so he loved her and protected her, and in the end he could even give his life.
I can not do it.
Although I also like her, I like her so much that I can no longer be tempted by other women.
However, I couldn't truly understand her, accept her, and accept all of her without any grievances.
My education, my family, where I was, all made it impossible for me to accept her.
She's so deviant.
Her behavior, her thoughts, her actions are all very different and weird, I can't understand and agree, even, I hate it, I hate her being so frivolous, even being so nice to her servants, I hate her tone of voice, The sarcasm in those words often hurt my heart, I hate that she is obviously just a lowly business woman, even if she is rich, how can she put on such a confident and proud appearance that she is the number one in the world.
And that night, I despised her even more from the bottom of my heart, so shameless, so self-willed and degrading, although that night, she let me get such happiness for the first time, and made me shout that I would kill her. But look forward to getting more happiness from her.
Actually, I didn't know it myself, but at that time, she already had a special place in my heart.
I am the second son of the Wang family, my father is the prime minister, and my aunt is the noble concubine. Although the Wang family is only a newcomer in the Zhou Dynasty, after hard work from grandfather to father, the Wang family can compete with the Cao family in Bianjing. house of the rich.
Unlike other brothers and sisters in the family, I liked reading since I was a child. I have a quiet temperament and what she calls cleanliness. Together with Cheng Jia, I studied under He Huaishan, a great scholar at the time. The two of us, I like white clothes, he likes green clothes, I like running calligraphy, he likes painting, I like flute, and he likes qin. We have many differences, but we have become best friends.
We are as lonely, but Cheng Jia always has a warm smile on his face, and people think he is very close. In fact, he is the one who rejects people thousands of miles away, and can talk to everyone with a smile , but not close to anyone, as if a person stands coldly outside the world and watches the intrigues in this world of mortals.
I've always seen him this way, Cheng Jia, who is unparalleled in talent and learning, is actually a person with an extremely cold personality.
I have known him for ten years, but I don't understand him as well as someone I met for the first time.
That person said later when we were chatting, Cheng Jia looks cold, but actually has a warm heart. He is a person who really cares about the world in his heart, and still maintains his true heart in the rotten mud.
Looking cold, he could turn a blind eye to the most gorgeous first prostitute in the world, but in fact, his heart was warm, once he really fell in love with that person, he would go through fire and water without hesitation.
The century-old Cheng family has been undefeated from the previous dynasty to the present, and its smooth handling of affairs can be imagined, but the national policy written by Cheng Jia, who grew up in such a family and education, amazed me.
When I saw the national policy, I realized where Cheng Jia and I were.
Only then did she understand why she could accept Cheng Jia, and kept thinking about it, and she never forgot it for so many years.
Tong'er came in and looked at me quietly, twirled the corner of the quilt for me, and then backed out quietly, thinking that I was still in a daze.
Yes, I have been confused for some time, but today, I am sober, sober, remembering the past so many years ago.
Brother Zhao and I are also good friends since we were young. We knew Brother Zhao even earlier than Cheng Jia.
Although the Wang family has been in business for many years, it was only after the aunt became a noble concubine that it really showed its prominence. In order to win over the Zhao family, my father asked my mother to befriend Mrs. Zhao, and often took us to the Zhao mansion to play.
Brother Zhao is only two years older than me. Compared with the friendship between my brother and Brother Zhao, our friendship is much purer. Brother Zhao seems to be straightforward and straightforward, but he is actually shrewd. Embarrassing, his father seldom came back from the border, the family's aunt wanted him to die, and Mr. Zhao didn't like him, a son of the Duke's mansion, but he didn't even have a servant, and he did everything by himself, but even in such a situation Next, he still asked his aunt and Mr. Zhao to let him come out to meet guests, not only to play with us, but also to get acquainted with children from other aristocratic families.
Of course, his reputation also rose at that time. He was tall and fierce in fights, and even children older than him couldn't beat him. During that time, what we heard most often was who was Zhao Jiasanlang? The son of the family was beaten up, and then went back to be punished by Mr. Zhao.
Brother Zhao and I really got on good terms after he saved my sister.
My sister, who was vain since she was a child, wanted to be strong in everything, but she was also a pungent girl when she met the Cao family. That time, she tricked her into wandering up the mountain and fell into the hole she dug earlier. Brother Zhao Just passing by, he rescued his sister and came up. For this, he himself suffered serious injuries.
At that time, my elder sister was still young, and she still had a little innocence. Seeing that Brother Zhao was good-looking, she asked Brother Zhao to agree to marry her in front of me. In the end, Third Brother Zhao nodded.
Brother Zhao has kept this promise for more than ten years, but her sister has long since forgotten it. In her heart, she only cares about wealth and power, and only the position of the number one woman in the world. In her eyes.
She is so stupid, she can meet another man like Brother Zhao who values love and righteousness.
If Third Brother Zhao falls in love with someone, he can give her even his heart.
Not only my sister misjudged him, Zhao Mingliang, old man Zhao, my father, almost everyone misjudged him, thinking that he was reckless and impulsive, easy to control, but third brother Zhao started as a soldier in the military camp at the age of ten, just like Yang Zhao, He has never lost in so many battles.
It's not that he doesn't know how to plan or play tricks, he just disdains it.
But I really didn't expect that he would fall in love with her. After he snatched her hairpin that time, I persuaded him several times to make him befriend the Ling family. He always laughed it off, but , When I saw him again in Bianjing, looking at the figure of that person, his eyes were full of love, and he said to me, do you know the feeling of liking someone to the bone
Back then, Cheng Jia told me the same thing.
After he said that, I left Bianjing. Unexpectedly, that would be our last meeting.
He went to the execution stage for her.
And when Third Brother Zhao told me this, it was also the last time we saw each other.
For her, he 'died in battle' in front of tens of thousands of people.
I don't know the story between Brother Zhao and her, but between Cheng Jia and her, I can see them one by one.
Because, in their stories, I was actually there too.
We experienced the flood and plague in Jiangling together, and we went to Lingjia Village together. When we were in Lingjia Village, Cheng Jia and I looked at her in the same way.
I can see Cheng Jia's thoughts, and Cheng Jia can also see my thoughts.
However, no matter how tempted we are, even thinking about marrying her as a regular wife, at that time, no matter how much we try to please, we can't compare to that man's smile.
The man named Yan San.
In fact, at that time, Cheng Jia and I had already separated ourselves.
I'm jealous, I'm disdainful, I despise her, I deliberately find trouble with her, I think she who chose Yansan is stupid and self-sufficient, and I feel ashamed of my thoughts.
But Cheng Jia praised Yan San with an admiring tone, looked at the two of them with envious eyes, and then hid her deep in his heart, allowing that love to settle and ferment.
Regarding the matter of Yang Zhao, he defended him and tried his best to make those people in Bianjing change their views on Yang Zhao, but I took a spectatorial attitude.
I thought, it's fine if I don't talk about the Lingjia Village, and I'm worthy of her life-saving grace.
Although I know Cheng Jia is right.
At that time, the Zhou Dynasty was already weak and the old habits were hard to change. There were many disadvantages. If the generals were treated like that again, it would definitely lead to serious consequences. However, Yang Zhao had no intention of being disobedient at all.
Afterwards, it has indeed been proved that as long as she wants to do it, the world is in her pocket.
Yang Zhao died in battle, and she arrived in Bianjing. Both Cheng Jia and I knew that it was dangerous for her to come, so she didn't have to come, and went deep into the dangerous place alone, I'm afraid she had another purpose.
The Wang family dealt with her time and time again. When I heard the conversation between my father and my elder brother that time, knowing that Yang Zhao died under their joint conspiracy, my heart was completely chilled.
I don't know what to do. Seeing her silent appearance as if she has completely changed her appearance, I am also heartbroken, but I can't do what Cheng Jia did. I can't even abandon my self-esteem, let alone mine. identity.
I deluded myself and thought, even if I put my face on it, she wouldn't care, because I am a member of the Wang family, whom she hates to the bone.
I ran away, I avoided the battlefield far away, I thought to myself, I will not interfere, whether it is father or her, I will not betray anyone, I will not help anyone.
However, until many years later, when I stood in front of the gate of the small courtyard and the sun slanted down, making her plain smile warm, my eyes were wet.
Only then did I realize that I had lost my heart a long time ago.