Mo Jingshen didn't speak, and Ji Nuan didn't speak much.
But we can’t just waste it like this.
Ji Nuan just came back from outside. She squeezed all her work into one day today, just to get all the entertainment in two or three days and then go back to Haicheng early. She was already a little tired now and didn't have much energy to deal with too much. .
She said calmly: "In the next few days, I will complete all the work in Beijing and not miss anything. As for the few trips that I have to go with you, I have already discussed it with Xiao Hu. If If I can meet you at the right time, I’ll go. If not, I’ll go and do my own thing—”
She looked at the man whose expression was calm and unchanged, and said with a smile: "After all, Shengtang Hotel is a hotel invested by your company, not to mention many partners will go there. It is indeed suitable for you to live there, but it is different for me. Well, following Mr. Mo, you have been hanging out in the upper class society in Beijing for so many days. I have met all kinds of big guys. Now it’s time to return to my original job. It doesn’t matter where I live. After the trip, I Just go back to Haicheng."
"Ji Nuan."
She smiled: "Huh?"
Mo Jingshen looked directly into her eyes, his voice was as light as an indescribable emotion, but it was also clear and cold, as if he wanted to directly see the deepest part of her: "You really don't love me anymore?"
Ji Nuan was stunned for a moment, then slowly laughed.
However, the man on the sofa kept looking at her calmly, and she gradually stopped laughing, only the corners of her mouth curled up.
If we say that she was really deeply in love when we lived and died together in Cambodia, if we say that when Mo Jingshen wanted to divorce her, she shamelessly insisted on staying with him, even when he called her a bitch. If you refuse to leave, you probably really love him without any regrets.
But she also knew how she felt when she signed for divorce, and how she had survived the past three years.
She thought of the day when she drank all night, stayed in a daze on the hotel balcony all night, and cut her long hair short when she woke up.
If she was wondering whether there would be any ambiguity or stories between Mo Jingshen and other women, she might be a little touched or unhappy. Maybe it was just that something she once owned was taken a fancy by others, and she felt a surge of emotion in her heart. It's human nature to be unhappy, but she's not sure whether it's the same as love.
Since even Mo Jingshen would clearly say that she didn't love her anymore, maybe her attitude was too arbitrary and she lost her hope of deliberately trying to save something. She didn't deliberately escape or get closer. Maybe It was because she didn't spend any more thought on him that he said she didn't love him anymore.
Then, maybe she really doesn't love him anymore.
"Maybe." Ji Nuan answered after a long time.
"reason?"
Ji Nuan looked at him, suddenly in a trance, and then turned away, gently placing her hand on the suitcase's lever, and said softly: "About three years ago, it survived in my belly for more than two months. When the baby who gradually started to have fetal heartbeat was aborted, and when I finally woke up looking forward to the man I loved most, my scarred heart was frozen overnight, even if you later used Reasonable reasons and even considerations for me have chipped away at the ice on the surface, but the flesh and blood inside is still numb and without any warmth."
Seeing the gloomy look in the man's eyes, she knew that he was also thinking about the child. This was a sensitive point for Ji Nuan, and the same for Mo Jingshen, so he often avoided the topic and never mentioned it.
There were passing cars outside the hotel, and the low voices of other people passing by could be heard not far outside the lounge. Everything seemed to become an illusory background behind Ji Nuan, and Mo Jingshen seemed to see her through such a careless face. Three years ago, when he just woke up, through the crack of the door of the ward, he saw the pale woman sitting outside, waiting for him.
In the past three years, it seemed that she had endured everything she could and could not bear silently. These three years had exploded in her body. She was strong because of the pain, but she also closed many things in her heart that should have been closed because of her strength. It's something soft.
She learned to make gains and losses, bow her head under the eaves, and find opportunities to break out of the cage. She seemed to be compromising, but in fact, not even a corner of the wall erected in her heart was destroyed.
Ji Nuan said calmly: "Or maybe it's because after living two lifetimes, after loving crazily and trying my best, and finally knowing the whole truth, I was just relieved, but I had already let go of many things. Get rid of attachments, Mo Jingshen, I have understood one thing in the past three years, that is... love will not kill people, it will only destroy my original beliefs, but it will make me build new ones. The belief that made Ji Nuan fall into a deep sleep made me live like Ji Nuan who is not Ji Nuan."
"So, since you can ask me this, then maybe it means you don't love me anymore." Ji Nuan finally came to a conclusion.
Seeing Ji Nuan's indifferent expression when she said the words "I don't love you anymore", Mo Jingshen thought of the dozens of text messages she sent him three years ago, one of which read: Mo Jingshen, I love you. .
But under his forced calm and indifferent attitude, he read those text messages one by one and deleted them one by one.
…
Mo Jingshen did not force Ji Nuan to go back to the Shengtang Hotel. In fact, even if Ji Nuan went back, he would not have much time to rest. At most, he would just sleep at night.
She has nothing to worry about now, so she squeezes all her work into a few days, no matter where she lives.
She still stayed in her current hotel, and she officially entered the very busy business trip.
And after Ji Nuan had a real heart-to-heart and told him all her innermost thoughts, she returned to the calm, cold, and untouchable person she was when she just returned home.
Sometimes Mo Jingshen's car parked in front of the hotel where Ji Nuan was staying. Ji Nuan saw it when he walked out, but instead of going to get in their car, he went directly to the subway station, or to some partners, etc. Car outside.
Autumn has already arrived in Beijing early, and the weather has turned cold in the past two days. After Ji Nuan finished work at noon, he could have taken a short rest in the afternoon, but he suddenly received a phone call.
It was Secretary Yang who was next to Mr. Vinse, who said that Mr. Vinse suddenly suffered from acute gastritis. When he was sent to the hospital yesterday, we found out that he had been having a fever for several days, and when he was sent to the hospital, he was already so feverish that he was not very conscious.
They were still in the capital and had not left. After Ji Nuan asked about the location of their hospital, he immediately took a taxi and hurried there.