Xu Xilin said angrily, "Dou Xun, are you brainless!"
Dou Xun's reason was about to be dried up by unprecedented jealousy. He stared at Xu Xilin, wanting to punch him and do something else. He felt aggrieved and irritable, thinking: "Why do you have the final say? Why do you imply that I'm going to get out?"
Xu Xilin saw Dou Xun's eyes clearly at the dimly lit entrance, and was startled by the huge despair and anger inside. Before he could say anything, Dou Xun pushed him away and went upstairs.
The plastic bags in the supermarket were scattered all over the floor. Xu Xilin scolded lowly, put his arms behind him with difficulty, and rubbed his back, which was aching from the bump. Then he took a deep breath and calmed down his anger for a while. , Only then did he pack up the schoolbag that Dou Xun dropped.
Carrying food in one hand and a bag in the other, he ran upstairs to "solve the problem". This is what Xu Jin taught him back then - small problems should be solved in time so as not to become big problems, and big problems should be solved in time so as not to miss the best time.
Xu Xilin went upstairs and knocked on Dou Xun's half-open door.
Dou Xun sat facing the door, his eyes were deep, and he stared at him with a gloomy face without saying a word.
Xu Xilin: "Then I'm in."
He entered the room and put down the things, folded his arms around his chest, did not sit down, and was a little angry, he stood and said to Dou Xun, "Tell me, did I invite you to mess with you?"
Dou Xun was choked by him, and his heart was even more angry, because he felt that Xu Xilin was pretending to be confused, and he pretended to run to ask, which was really bad.
He now regrets liking Xu Xilin very much, and feels that he has only seen the essence of this person clearly, and is not worthy of liking.
It's a pity that it's too late.
Seeing his expression, Xu Xilin knew that he was angry and said the wrong thing. He began to feel that he had picked the wrong time, so he had to go around the room in silence for two times, and then knocked on Dou Xun's desk by mistake: "Can you die if you say something?"
Dou Xun said coolly, "What do you want to hear? I like men, or I like you?"
Xu Xilin received the most provocative confession in history. He did not expect that the window paper he had tried to protect would be torn by Dou Xun like this.
Before he could react, he saw that Dou Xun raised his head and commanded arrogantly, "I don't like it now, get out."
Xu Xilin's natural three-inch incorrupt tongue has not yet evolved to a complete body. He couldn't resist this level of moodiness for a while. He didn't know what to say. He was stunned for a long time, turned around, and left without saying a word.
Dou Xun's hard neck collapsed until Xu Xilin left.
His lonely world has no frontier, and he wears a crown and stands at the end, surrounded by paper guards and iron-clad subjects to his left and right, the only living creature that surrounds him in a lifeless manner, allowing him to be crowned with himself. Draw yourself into a prison.
There is a small seedling of grievances in his heart, but after years of time, there is nowhere to vent, that small seedling has taken root and sprouts on its own, grows wildly day after day, and grows into an endless forest. The kingdoms echoed each other from a distance.
The bridge of Dou Xun's nose suddenly became sore, and he almost cried, but his temper was caused by him, and it was him who drove people away, because it was too embarrassing to cry, so he had to grit his teeth and endure it until all his heart was burned. , Xu Xilin shook at the door and came back.
Xu Xilin brought a small rattan chair from the living room, pushed it into Dou Xun's house, and sat down without saying a word. He practiced closing mantra with Dou Xun for a while, and he changed his posture irritably. Extending his legs, he kicked Dou Xun's calf: "Hey, talk to people, what are you thinking?"
Dou Xun stared at him with red eyes.
When Xu Xilin saw him like that, he knew that he probably hadn't thought about it.
Dou Xun looks cool on the surface, but in fact he is not a very calm person. He is a middle-2 cancer who is "how bold a person is and how prolific the land is". He does everything without considering the consequences. - What's the matter with love, he has to be happy first.
Xu Xilin sighed, sat upright, leaned forward slightly, and put his elbows on his knees.
Although there was no one at home, he couldn't help but lower his voice: "Have you ever felt this way about others...?"
Dou Xun raised his hand and pointed at the door. He didn't want to discuss his unwarranted love history with him, so he still let him go.
"Okay, then there is no." Xu Xilin reluctantly translated his body language to himself.
Asking him to discuss this topic with Dou Xun, Xu Xilin himself was as embarrassed as he was sitting on pins and needles, and the guy didn't cooperate at all. He bit his head and sat on the small rattan chair, wanting to jump up every second to turn around and leave.
Xu Xilin lowered his head and thought for a long time, racking his brains to figure out what he should say.
He thought, "If Xu Jin was here, what would she say?"
However, Xu Jin was no longer able to teach him.
Men and men are impossible? Because the law stipulates that men can only marry women - nonsense, who the hell doesn't know that.
Maybe it's all your delusion, you have too few friends, and the distribution of feelings is a bit over the line - this is a raffle.
I don't accept it, you give up - this... This is Dou Xun's way of speaking.
Xu Xilin will never kick the door in when others are sad, and his principle will always be to seek common ground while reserving differences as much as possible without hurting people's hearts or feelings, so that everyone can play together in the future.
However, it is clear that Dou Xun is on the contrary, he never "seeks common ground while reserving differences" with others.
Dou Xun's principle is also very simple: either listen to me or get out.
Xu Xilin was silent for so long that Dou Xun actually calmed down by himself.
Dou Xun looked at Xu Xilin's face in the unlit room, and after watching it for a while, the irritability in his heart miraculously reduced a little, but the grievances remained. Dou Xun took out a cigarette case from his pocket, rudely took one out, poured everything in a pen holder on the desk onto the table, and pulled it over to use it as an ashtray.
A strange thought suddenly flowed through Dou Xun's heart, and he thought, "Am I embarrassing him?"
"Forget it," Dou Xun waved his hand in the fog, and said to Xu Xilin desolately, "I'm sorry, I won't bother you in the future. I hope Xiaocheng and Dou Junliang are doing well now, and you too..."
Xu Xilin's heart tensed, and he interrupted him: "Why am I just like them? Did I say anything? Can you not go to extremes like that!"
Dou Xun looked at him indifferently.
Xu Xilin was distressed, glanced at Dou Xun's cigarette case, and reached out: "Give me one."
Dou Xun hesitated for a moment, shook the cigarette case with one hand, and handed one to him. Xu Xilin squeezed the cigarette and gestured from the beginning to the end with the lighter. Finally, he didn't say anything, and put it aside heavily, in his heart. Very vicissitudes of life: "You haven't had a normal relationship with a girl, how can you be sure that you want to go this way, don't you think you are too hasty?"
Dou Xun said sharply: "I need to find a girl to fall in love with, and then dump her to prove that I like you?"
Xu Xilin: "..."
Dou Xun leaned back on the chair irritably, feeling that if Xu Xilin repeated these illogical stupid words a few times, maybe he would really be able to empathize.
Xu Xilin said tiredly: "Are you really ignorant or what? Have you considered practical issues? What do your parents think..."
Dou Xun sneered.
Xu Xilin: "...Okay, it doesn't matter what they—grandma will think when they find out? Teachers who have high hopes for you, your current classmates, and future colleagues, what do they think of you? You can't be a great immortal all your life without dealing with others, right?"
On the surface, Dou Xun is an impeccable "child from someone else's family", who meets all the expectations of society for people of his age, and is excellent to the level of excellence. If he doesn't kill himself, he can restrain him. The deviant that came out at that time... It was about the future. In the future, Dou Junliang and the others couldn't really ignore him completely.
Talent, talent and family background, he has everything, he is destined to be smoother than others in this life, and he can see the distant end at a glance.
Xu Xilin sighed: "This is not a joke, don't be willful."
Dou Xun listened to him scribbling a bunch of sidelines, but he never got to the point, so he became impatient: "This is all for later, I'll ask you what you think now."
"..." Xu Xilin found that he couldn't communicate with him, and became angry, his tone involuntarily increased, "Is it important what I think now, do you just look at the bottom of your eyes and not the consequences when you think about it? Then why don't you go Murder, why don't you take drugs? That's how fucking happy! You... "
Dou Xun jumped up unexpectedly, pressed Xu Xilin on the rattan chair condescendingly, and performed to Xu Xilin what "momentary pleasure" was at the scene - he blocked Xu Xilin's mouth.
The last time I was on ktv, it was a helpless and boring game. One was thinking about how to draw a line with Wu Tao, and the other was not at home at all.
This time, it was all a kiss.
Dou Xun's palm was stuck on his neck, his thumb was clenching his chin, his hands were so strong that he could not breathe, and he was rampaging.
Xu Xilin was taken aback. I don't know if he was angry or what. An indescribable tremor rushed from his back to the top of his head. He forgot to push Dou Xun away for a while, until Dou Xun used his tiger teeth without any seriousness. bit his lip.
Xu Xilin snapped back to his senses, shoved Dou Xun away, and the rattan chair fell in response. Xu Xilin staggered back two steps, and subconsciously reached out and wiped his mouth—surely he saw blood.
"Are you perverted?" The four words reached Xu Xilin's tongue and almost spat it out, but at the last minute, he met Dou Xun's stubborn, arrogant and panicked eyes, Xu Xi bit off the hurtful words in danger, blood It flowed into his mouth, and he walked away angrily.
Neither of the two were in the mood to eat. They were separated by a living room, and they could not come out.
Doudou spun around downstairs, occasionally making several unhappy growls, trying to get the attention of his family and taking him out for a walk, but after barking for a long time, no one answered, and the old dog was tired, his ears were drooping on one side, and his throat was drooping." Gollum" cursed.
Xu Xilin took down the photo of Xu Jin from the bookcase.
He didn't like to put up a posthumous photo. This is a photo she took at a tourist attraction during her lifetime. At that time, she was only in her thirties, not fat yet, young and fashionable, smiling brightly at the camera.
Xu Xilin wiped the frame again and remembered a very classic movie line.
"Is life always this hard, or just wait until you grow up?"
Just then, the door rang, and Aunt Du and Grandma Xu came back.
Xu Xilin crawled out half-dead to say hello: "Grandma, auntie, are you back?"
"Come on," Grandma Xu waved at him and asked, "Where's Xiaoxun?"
Xu Xilin put his face away, and said blankly, "I'm going to retreat and study Zen."
"Ah yo, how old are people, and they are still arguing from morning to night." Grandma knew at a glance that they were fighting again, and looked away from Xu Xilin, "Grandma will help (to) you with a few words."
Xu Xilin walked downstairs without raising his feet.
Grandma Xu: "Your father..."
Dou Xun upstairs quietly pushed the room open a small crack, and Xu Xilin downstairs was furious: "I told him not to go with him or not to go with him, how many times I said, you still mention him!"
"What's it called?" Grandma slapped him on the forehead. "Your father is trying to find a way to go back to work in China recently. I hope he will settle down later and he will come to see you once a week."
Xu Xilin's melancholy is like a big river going into the Big Dipper. Hearing that Zheng Shuo is going to make trouble, he slumps on the sofa with his nose and eyes: "Love will not come."
"And..." Grandma paused, then glanced at Aunt Du before speaking.
Auntie Du, who used to do housework when she got home, sat on the side uncharacteristically today, and when she saw her grandmother looking over, she hesitantly said, "Yes... There is such a thing, our hometown was demolished and the family gave it to us. Several buildings, my daughter-in-law just gave birth to a child... "
Xu Xilin heard the meaning of her words in the first sentence, flickered in his heart, and fell directly from the scorching three volts to the cold sky.
Auntie Du lowered her head and almost didn't dare to look at him: "My son said that the conditions at home are better now, and he wants to take me home for retirement. The grandson is so young, so he has to take him personally..."
Xu Xilin said softly, "Auntie, are you leaving?"
Auntie Du's lips moved slightly, and she murmured for a while: "Why would Auntie leave at this juncture? Don't worry, I'll wait for you to finish the exam."
Auntie Du has stayed in the Xu family for ten years, and it seems that she has become a part of the family. No one in the family will ever forget her when they bring gifts home. Many times, Xu Xilin forgets that she is someone else's mother.
He knew that there was no such thing as a feast in the world, and he knew that he should speak beautifully. Then he prepared a bonus for Auntie Du, thanked her for her hard work in his family for so many years, and told her that there was such a "son" here. "I can come to him for anything in the future.
But everything can't be said.
Xu Jin is gone, Aunt Du is gone, and grandma is old.
And Dou Xun... Well, Dou Xun didn't even mention it.
His utopian, carefree home was like a little sandcastle on the beach, thinning and disintegrating in the waves and breeze, exposing him to the vastness of the sea, wandering in the salty turmoil.
Xu Xilin responded without saying a word, and left.
More than a month later, Xu Xilin had just finished his self-study in the evening when he suddenly received a text message from Dou Xun.
Dou Xun didn't pay attention to him for a few days. He usually came back to see his grandmother as usual. When he came, he went into his room and avoided Xu Xilin.
Xu Xilin opened the text message and saw that Dou Xunyan had sent an address in a succinct manner. He reacted for a moment, remembering that it was the pet hospital in their community.
He vaguely understood something, stood for a while in the dry and abrupt spring breeze in the north, and smelled the complicated and indistinguishable odor of impermanence.