Xu Xilin glanced at Dou Xun subconsciously, and found that Dou Xun, who was three steps away from him, had no expression, and even avoided his gaze first, and then Dou Xun stood stiffly for a while and walked away silently.
Dou Xun couldn't help but leave. He was usually headstrong, but when Luo Bing was laughing at him, he suddenly realized that he had to bear it no matter how unhappy he was.
He has always been arrogant and self-sufficient, and rarely feels the existence of "other people's eyes".
Then he saw it in Luo Bing's eyes.
In the eyes of others, he is a good friend, and when it comes to private matters, he should take the initiative to withdraw.
Xu Xilin had almost become a habit of coaxing him, but being so "sensible" by him suddenly made him very maladaptive, almost subconsciously chasing after him.
He was absent-minded, Luo Bing's discomfort and nervousness could no longer affect him, Xu Xilin was a little impatient, and asked politely, "Well, what's the matter?"
This sounded okay, but the speaker's attitude was indifferent, others could feel it, Luo Bing suddenly became even more nervous, and she said incoherently: "I just wanted to... um... For extra points, the teacher told me I said, thank you. And before, you gave me a lot of small things, but never in person... It's really... "
Xu Xilin understood half of the sentence: "No thanks, it should be... What gift?"
The good girls who usually play with Luo Bing have similar personalities to her. They are all quiet and quiet and don't take the initiative to talk to boys. They only have the experience of being confessed. , there is no experience to draw from. Luo Bing was embarrassed and overwhelmed. At this time, his mind was completely overdrawn by the college entrance examination. He was able to maintain the ability to express his confession, and the communication part could not be taken into account.
Luo Bing didn't notice the genuine blankness on Xu Xilin's face, and just kept talking to himself: "I wrote you a lot of letters, I was afraid to disturb you at first, but I didn't expect you to reply... I am very grateful... No, not thank you ,I do not know how to say it… "
Xu Xilin's brows were slightly wrinkled, and he almost blurted out, "When did you write me a lot of letters, and when did I reply?", but intuition that there was something in the middle, he listened patiently.
Luo Bing's voice became smaller and smaller: "When something happened to your family, I was also very sad. I talked to you a lot, I wonder if I can comfort you..."
Xu Xilin's heart skipped a beat—in the days when he was in a trance, he had no intention of reading, and most of the papers distributed in the class and the newspapers from various subjects in the mailbox seemed to be sorted out by Cai Jing for him.
Luo Bing: "...but every time you reply to a letter, there is only one small thing, and you haven't written a word. I want to ask you exactly..."
She couldn't go on anymore, she raised her head and glanced at Xu Xilin, only to find that Xu Xilin's expression was very strange.
Xu Xilin felt like his chest was being pressed by a stone, and he couldn't breathe.
He usually touches his things, except for Cai Jing, which is Yu Yiren and Laocheng. Yu is still a girl, and he and Luo Bing are friends by borrowing sanitary napkins from each other, so there is no need to write back to her anonymously. Lao Cheng... Lao Cheng loves booing and watching the fun all his life. If there is no wind, he will make a three-foot wave. If he finds the letter written by Luo Bing, he will go and advertise it.
Only Cai Jing likes to express his concern or thanks in the form of "small gifts", because he has money and can't afford expensive things, so he can only work hard on his mind, and every time he can make people feel his ironing.
Xu Xilin glanced at Luo Bing with complicated and unspeakable eyes, and then slowly recalled some details - Cai Jing doesn't like to tease with girls, but it's not that he doesn't talk to girls at all, but he is normal to others, but rarely is. Seeing Luo Bing, every time she came over for something, he either avoided her or ignored her.
But he clearly remembered that she was a poor student, and every time she had any difficulties, he would hint it.
Xu Xilin had been at the same table with Cai Jing for three years, but he didn't even know that Cai Jing liked Luo Bing.
His likes are like moss in the corner of the wall, dark and dark, dense and sorrowful, it will never bloom, and it will die as soon as the light shines.
Xu Xilin's throat seemed to be blocked by something, he used all his strength to smile, maybe it was too ugly, he felt that Luo Bing was frightened.
"It means thank you." Xu Xilin said softly, "Thank you for being so kind to me."
Luo Bing was stunned for a moment, then slowly realized what he meant, and his eyes dimmed suddenly.
Xu Xilin took another deep look at her and said, "You will definitely be admitted to the first choice, and you will be rich and noble in the future, don't forget it, monitor."
Luo Bing's face turned red at first and then white, and then there was a little tear in his eyes, barely holding face, nodded blankly: "Thank you, you can definitely be the first choice."
Xu Xilin nodded to her, and walked away with the transparent document bag for the exam in his hand.
Luo Bing finally couldn't help wiping away a handful of tears, turned his back to Xu Xilin and said, "Next time you meet someone you like, don't drag it, it's gone after you drag it, if there is someone you don't like, it will be disgusting. If you post it, don't pay attention to her, you don't need to take care of anyone's feelings, it's very uncomfortable to be selfish."
"Yeah." Xu Xilin replied, "I'll remember it next time."
Then he paused, then said, "I'm sorry."
At the entrance of the chaotic school, the crowd of people gradually dissipated. The isolation belt dedicated to the college entrance examination was hanging loosely on the ground, and a few policemen were chatting while cleaning up.
Xu Xilin had been sitting at the same table with Cai Jing since he entered school. He remembered that he was late for school on the first day of school. When he found Class 1 and 1, everyone had already started to line up at the entrance of the class, arranging seats according to height.
At that time, Cai Jing was wearing his junior high school uniform. He was washed white, and his cuffs were frayed a little. He stood quietly at the end, not fighting with anyone. Anyone who wanted to cut in the queue quietly moved away.
Xu Xilin still remembered that when Cai Jing turned around and saw him, the first sentence was: "Classmate, are you from this class too? Do you want to stand up?"
Like yesterday.
If Xu Jin was still alive, she might be able to carry on some relationships in her early years. Anyway, she could hire a good lawyer for Cai, but she has been engaged in cross-border mergers and acquisitions for more than ten years. Hey, Xu Xilin couldn't even try to borrow her yin once shamelessly—not to mention it was too late when he knew what happened to Cai Jing.
Now, the verdict is pending, and he can't even see Cai Jing once. What made the young man brazenly use the knife can no longer be tested, and only such a small clue was left for him.
Dou Xun has been following behind him. He doesn't understand why his face is so ugly after he said a few words to Luo Bing.
When I got home that evening, Auntie Du came to say goodbye.
Aunt Du used to live in grandma's room. After she packed her luggage, half of grandma's bedroom was vacated. Her ticket back to her hometown has been booked, and it has been pressed under the coffee table in the living room. The reason for leaving in such a hurry is because the students are about to have their summer vacation, and the train tickets are already getting nervous.
My grandmother asked Xu Xilin to wrap her a red envelope. Like a daughter who was traveling far away, she held her hand and rambled about. From the car, she should pay attention to her luggage and be careful of pickpockets. Not for a lifetime... I wish I could ask a question for the rest of her life.
It's hard for her, an old lady who doesn't listen to things outside the window, to be able to say so many orders.
Auntie Du said, "Auntie, when I go back, I'll see how people's faces have changed."
Then she cried.
Auntie Du came out to seek a living at a very young age. She had no education. After being with her grandmother for so many years, she had not received any edification at all. When she cried, she was still screaming. A white mark was made.
After suing many times, she finally said goodbye, and she cried while walking. Xu Xilin called a taxi, carried her luggage for her with Dou Xun, and took her to the train station. Aunt Du cried for a while, stopped for a while, and wentssip with Xu Xilin, and I don't know which memory was involved in the gossip. , I remembered which part of the future was uncertain, and sadness came from it, and then I opened the gate to release the flood.
At the station, Dou Xun waited on the platform, Xu Xilin helped her carry her luggage on the train and put it away, took out the last tissue on her body and wiped Aunt Du's face, the train broadcast began to remind relatives and friends to get off, but Du The aunt took his hand and didn't let him go.
Xu Xilin didn't want her to go, and he could see that Aunt Du didn't want to leave his house.
In the city, she sells her strength. She arranges the daily life of the family. She works to get paid, and her waist is straight. When she got home, she became an old country lady who had nothing to do, and she had to serve her family. Because of the family, good luck is priceless, bad luck is worthless, it depends on the situation, it is hard to say.
But let her stay, he can't be the master.
Xu Xilin: "Auntie, I'm about to drive, I have to get off."
Aunt Du shook his hand and said, "My child, poor child!"
Xu Xilin has experienced all the troubles throughout the year, and gradually he doesn't feel sorry for himself, but only feels that he is very weak. There seemed to be a vortex around him, swept away his relatives and friends, but he was helpless and could only watch from the sidelines.
He pulled out his hand, finally got off the train before the conductor closed the door, and was pushed by the hurried conductor: "Did you not hear the broadcast so many times?"
Xu Xilin staggered two steps on the platform before standing still. He felt that as soon as his feet landed, the train sighed and drove away overwhelmed.
All day, Xu Xilin first took the comprehensive science and English exams, and then sent Aunt Du in the evening. He was basically in no mood to eat dinner, and the whole thing went on and on. On the way back into the taxi, he began to nap against the window.
Because Dou Xun knew that he couldn't speak, he was afraid that he would be wrong. He didn't dare to say a word all night. He would find out that he was asleep. Dou Xun raised a hand and tried to hug Xu Xilin several times, but he made gestures for a long time. , before they found the foothold of their hands, they arrived home.
Xu Xilin took a nap in the car, but he was no longer sleepy when he got home. He habitually wanted to go to the living room on the second floor to get his schoolbag and do his homework for a while, but found that the schoolbag was hanging on the wall, and he was the only one on the small table in the living room. The transparent plastic clip for research, I just remembered that there is no homework to do.
When he was just in the third year of high school and started to study at night, Xu Xilin once fantasized about what he would do after the high school entrance examination. Who knew that when it came to such a day, he didn't want to implement those plans at all, but because he didn't "run his head", his heart was empty.
Grandma had already slept, and the grey parrot was not tied, but maybe their house was a little big, and people could not be seen everywhere, and the birds were afraid and didn't dare to fly around, so they just stayed on the shelf and buried their heads under their wings. also slept.
Xu Xilin went downstairs quietly, got into the kitchen, and got himself a bottle of beer.
No one usually drinks the beer, and it's about to expire. Xu Xilin felt annoyed and wanted to use wine to cover his worries, so he centrally disposed of these stocks and put them in a row. In the end, he still didn't have the courage to open a bottle. I poured myself a glass.
This is something Xu Jin has ingrained in him. When the boys first entered puberty, they worshipped the underworld in various movies for a period of time, and secretly learned to smoke collectively. Xu Xilin followed the trend and tasted one. Unknowingly, he caught up with Xu Jin's business trip and went home early, and was caught.
Xu Jin didn't beat him, didn't stress that "smoking is harmful to health" printed on the cigarette pack, just told him that it was difficult to quit smoking, and people who quit smoking were often lethargic, yawning with tears in their eyes, and they would gain weight by then.
Xu Jin said: "The mouth is on your body, and I can't sew it on. You think about it yourself. Anyway, when you take a long-distance plane and go to a non-smoking area to eat, you have to endure it and do whatever you want. Think clearly, don't regret it if you can't handle it later, and when you want to quit smoking with snot and tears in the future, don't say that your mother didn't care about you back then."
Xu Jin taught him that he wanted to quit smoking when he smoked, and think about his dry eyes and his head about to explode the next day when he wanted to drink.
Dou Xun walked in quietly, glanced at the half bottle of beer left on the table, took a sip from the bottle, sat on the stool at the small bar in the kitchen, opened his mouth several times, and swallowed all the words in annoyance. After going back, finally holding the wine bottle, he clinks a glass with Xu Xilin foolishly.
Xu Xilin forced a smile: "Why clink glasses? What are you celebrating?"
Dou Xun searched his intestines for a while, and then said dryly, "... Finished the exam?"
Xu Xilin took a sip.
His boyhood is over.
After drinking, Xu Xilin started to stare at Dou Xun, with a bitter aftertaste on the tip of his tongue. He remembered Luo Bing's words when he was parting, and Cai Jing's moss-like love, thinking that "it's gone", feeling the darkness loneliness.
At the same time, according to his original thinking habits, Xu Xilin remembered the difficulties and difficulties in the future, the pointing and pointing that he experienced more than ten years ago, and remembering that in the future, he will be torn apart for life like "perverts", "AIDS", "hepatitis B" and "re-education through labor prisoners". Do not go down the label.
The two thoughts in his chest killed him to the death. Dou Xun was stared at him inexplicably. He thought that Xu Xilin was waiting for him to comfort him, so he tentatively reached out and put his hand on his shoulder, and then felt that it was a little painless. , he jumped off the high stool, put it on it slowly, and gave him an awkward hug rusty.
Xu Xilin thought repeatedly in his mind, "Think clearly about everything you do, don't keep it and regret it later." He also knew that he was defeated by a moment of loneliness and emptiness, and that he was shamefully weak.
However, the defeat would be like a mountain, and he was powerless to struggle. He pressed Dou Xun's back with one hand, pressed him to himself, and kissed Dou Xun's neck sideways in a corner.
For a second, he knew Cai Jing's mood when he raised the knife.
Dou Xun was stunned, pushed him away in disbelief, raised his hand and touched his neck, and after holding it for a day, he finally blurted out: "Did you take the wrong medicine?"
Xu Xilin: "..."
Dou Xun's face suddenly turned red, and he wished he could bite off the broken tongue that caused the trouble. The two looked at each other for a moment. Xu Xilin really couldn't do anything about him, so he shook his head and turned to go upstairs.
When Dou Xun saw him turn around, he was so frightened that he was sweaty and cold and sweaty. He jumped up without thinking, hugged Xu Xilin from behind, and instinctively dragged him back to the kitchen with brute force, and pressed him on the high stool.
It seems that there is a curse at the door of the kitchen, and the thing that has just been stepped on is not counted!
Xu Xilin: "What are you doing?"
Dou Xun realized that he had done something stupid and thought blankly, "Yeah, what am I doing?"