Although Dou Xun always went home quietly, his life was not easy.
He insisted on going to a pharmaceutical company with a relatively large scale. On the first day of work, he came to the conclusion that the bosses were all idiots. After a few days of contact with customers, he had a good understanding of the uneven whole of human beings. Deeper understanding - some people forgive them at least eight times a minute to get the conversation going.
My colleague was friendly to him at first, but then I accidentally heard about his education, and looked at him with the eyes of a neuropathy - if you don't squat in the laboratory and prepare to win the Nobel Prize, what kind of jobs are you coming to us
Since then, Dou Xun is no longer called Dou Xun, he has a new name called "We have a child who graduated from such and such school".
He has become a cow, a facade, and a Western landscape, and when he has nothing to do, he will show it to others to blow and put it on. Everyone is like watching celebrities remove makeup, watching the doctor who sells pork online, the master who wears candied haws... and Dou Xun, who is a medical nurse like them.
Dou Xun is very independent and indifferent to the collective concept. He has never felt any sense of belonging to his alma mater before, but during this time, every time his school came out of those people's mouths, he felt that he had shamed the school once. .
The boss is very keen to take him out to meet clients to show off.
The wine table culture of the old men can be written into a contemporary book "The Strange Situation I Witnessed in Twenty Years". Dou Xun feels that most of the time they are not speaking human words. Hu was drinking toasts and drinking. In comparison, when Wu Tao was drinking beer in the middle of the moon, he was too childish.
Every time Dou Xun couldn't fight, he would go out and vomit in a heart-wrenching manner, and then crawled back in embarrassment, and he would be pointed at him with a smile, "Look at you, reading is stupid, I will do it in the future. Exercise more."
This is a place that is anti-intelligence, anti-ideal, anti-juvenile and frivolous, anti-naive and passionate. Every person who walks in, regardless of aptitude and personality, must be put into the same meat grinder, and they will be beaten repeatedly, and finally one will come out. A finished product just like everyone else.
Dou Xun was at a loss from the beginning, and soon reached the point where he wanted to vomit when he heard the word "work". When people are tense to a certain extent, they will only have time to look at the road under their feet and forget about the distance. Sometimes Dou Xun forgets his original plan and the original intention of deciding to work, he just wants to fight for this breath.
Unexpectedly, he was caught off guard and heard Grandma Xu's words outside the ward, and the uneasiness of the past few days finally reached its peak.
Grandma didn't say anything to him. After spending a while with Dou Xun, her energy was exhausted. Halfway through a sentence, she tilted her head and fell asleep.
Dou Xun sat next to her and watched her in a daze, thinking of his grandmother, the smell of vanishing cream on her body being covered up by a rotten breath, and thinking of her eyes that were cloudy and blind because they hid too many words before they could say anything, and remembered again. The phrase "Forget it" he heard at the door just now, the despair in his heart was like ripples in the water, expanding little by little to infinity, and the demon was blocked for a while.
When Xu Xilin took something back, Dou Xun jolted for a moment, and his scattered eyes immediately locked on him tightly, expecting him to say something.
But Xu Xilin didn't say anything, he put the things aside, reached out and touched Dou Xun's head, and whispered, "You go back first, I'll watch her today."
Dou Xun clasped his hand reluctantly, anxiously seeking a little comfort from the intertwined fingers.
Xu Xilin looked at Dou Xun through a pair of bloodshot eyes. He was hesitant at first. At this time, the sleeping grandmother suddenly moved. Xu Xilin seemed to be startled, and took a step back abruptly, avoiding Dou Xun's words. Looking at her, she saw that her grandmother still closed her eyes, so she let out a sigh of relief and said to Dou Xun, "Okay, let's go."
Dou Xun's heart sank suddenly, he took a few steps and turned around at the door, wishing he could suck his blood and eat his flesh, his eyes fell on Xu Xilin's increasingly narrow and thin back, and he thought stubbornly: " I will never let you go."
Early the next morning, Xu Xilin handed over her grandmother to the nurse and hurried to school.
"When the semester started, I sent a text message to remind you that the failure rate of this course is high," the counselor said, "Your overall grades at the end of the semester are generally low, and the grades have been adjusted according to the ratio, but you usually do not get all the grades. Missed homework once, didn't it?"
Xu Xilin was speechless.
The counselor also knew what grandson life he had this semester, and did not take him seriously: "I told Teacher Zhou that I will give you an accommodation, and now I will make up the homework at my place, and I will take you to ask for it at noon. Teacher Zhou has a meal, this is over, there will be no next time."
The sister-in-law sacrificed her face, and blatantly opened the back door for him. Xu Xilin didn't know what to say for a while.
The counselor glared at him: "Still lingering, hurry up! Use my computer."
The Internet in the teacher's office is very good. If you don't understand, you can check it online at any time. If you can't find it, you can ask the counselor from the same college. But this is the case. Xu Xilin still worked hard from early in the morning to almost noon, embarrassed and sloppy homework. Fill.
The counselor occupied the computer by him, and was so bored that he flipped through old magazines for a long time.
Xu Xilin reluctantly returned the computer: "Thank you old..."
Called "teacher" and "counselor" to see outside, Xu Xilin said to his lips, and turned around obediently: "Thank you, senior sister."
The counselors arranged by their schools for undergraduates are all "administrative insurance research" students. After graduating from the senior year, these administrative students will continue to study their majors while participating in school work. Continue to study for a Ph.D., and then apply to stay at the school to be a lecturer in professional courses. Xu Xilin and his counselor are called Tian Yan. The first students they brought in during the first year of graduate school were Xu Xilin and them, and they were three or four years older than them.
Tian Yan glanced at him with a half-smile but not a smile: "You just thank you verbally?"
Xu Xilin: "..."
Tian Yan waved: "Let's go, don't let Teacher Zhou wait."
Xu Xilin quickly installed the portable hard drive, and followed behind Senior Sister Tian. Tian Yan has taken good care of him since the day he entered school, and Xu Xilin has always been grateful, but her attitude just now made him involuntarily a little nervous.
Xu Xilin made up her homework and invited the professor in the class to have a meal. Tian Yan has already decided to stay in the administrative direction. She will start school after the new year. She is a regular employee of the school. Despite her face, she couldn't help but say a few words to Xu Xilin: "The most important task when you are a student is to study well. If you really have the ambition to travel all over the world, you might as well take a year off from school and go to the society by yourself. , come back when you are tired, how can you be in Caoying and Han, and want everything?"
Xu Xilin didn't dare to say a word, and listened obediently.
Teacher Zhou said angrily: "Even if I don't hang you, I can only give you 60. If you don't want this course to drag on your grades, you can retake it next semester!"
Whether it is rebuilt or not is another matter for discussion. Anyway, this test is over, and Instructor Tian sent Xu Xilin all the way to the school gate.
Tian Yan said, "I won't take you any more next semester, and then I will assign a teacher from the Employment Office to be your counselor. You are the only class of students I have brought."
Usually in this case, Xu Xilin would joke: "No, our counselor has to change from a beautiful woman to an aunt."
But he felt that Tian Yan's attitude was wrong today, so he didn't dare to make a joke, and said evasively, "Thank you, Senior Sister, for your trouble."
Tian Yan frowned and looked at Xu Xilin, and was confused by his "not enlightened" attitude. Xu Xilin kept pretending that nothing had happened.
After a while, Tian Yan said tentatively, "I heard that your family conditions are good, and you don't need to push yourself too hard. You can relax when appropriate. Last time, a teacher told me about you and wanted to see you. All day long, you are either tossing about your projects, or busy with work in the department, you are a junior, and you don’t even have a girlfriend.”
coming-
Xu Xilin took a slow breath and smiled at Tian Yan: "Actually there are."
Tian Yan: "…"
"It's not from our school. He doesn't like to meet people, so he didn't bring it with him." As Xu Xilin said, he seemed a little embarrassed to look away, his eyes softened, but there was an indescribable sadness in the corners of his eyes, " He doesn't have a good temper, and I actually really want to bring him out."
Tian Yan said in her heart that it was impossible not to be disappointed, but she still maintained the dignity of the senior sister and the counselor on her face, but asked casually, "It seems that the relationship is good, do you have any photos?"
"There are always quarrels," Xu Xilin said helplessly, "but I have liked such a person before, and I tolerated it. I didn't bring any photos."
Tian Yan didn't believe it, and said a little sourly, "Is it still hiding with my senior sister?"
Xu Xilin just smiled and stood without saying a word.
Tian Yan suddenly felt dull, waved her hand, and turned to go back to the school. Xu Xilin stood on the depressing street in early winter, spit out a mouthful of white steam, and walked to the nearest bus stop.
Without warning, his own words echoed in his heart - I actually wanted to bring him out too.
He also wanted to put a picture of Dou Xun's stinky face in his wallet, and complained to others during the birthday festival, "It's so annoying, and I have to buy gifts again. Valentine's Day is all year round." He wanted to pull Dou Xun along. Walking around the school with no one at hand...
Senior Sister Tian said that he didn't need to push himself too hard, but Xu Xilin didn't dare to relax.
Because his "girlfriend" is a man.
In this world of freedom, democracy, abruptness, rudeness, and eloquence...even countries try to infiltrate each other with ideological assimilation, he cannot enter the narrow door with the attitude of taking a broad road.
The heating on the bus went off again. After sitting for a while, Xu Xilin was frozen into an ice sculpture, and his limbs were stiff. All the way, he was reminiscing about what happened a long time ago. He chewed Dou Xun and followed Qilixiang. I recalled the scene of entering the door frame by frame, laughed while thinking about it, and then had a paranoid thought - if only I could go back to that year as soon as I closed my eyes.
If only time would stop forever in the summer when he was sixteen.
Why not just as first seen
Xu Xilin pondered in a mess, swaying around in the bus with air leaks, and he was able to fall asleep. When he was woken up by the text message from the nurse to make an appointment with him, he had already sat for two stops!
He had to walk back tremblingly, cleaned up the room, comforted the depressed gray parrot, and prepared to cook a few dishes to take to the hospital. Just after the fire was turned off, Dou Xun came back from get off work.
Anu Xunwei has not yet had an "alcohol test". He has been a little cold in the past two days, and the pain is like a needle stick.
Xu Xilin heard the door slamming, but couldn't hear people for a long time. He came out and took a look. He was frightened by Dou Xun. He quickly helped him to the sofa in the living room and made him a cup of ginger sugar water. to vomit.
Xu Xilin hurriedly chased after him. Dou Xun's stomach was very empty, and all he spit out was water, turning the river to the sea, but the wind was heavy and the rain was small, his face turned red and then white, and his hands began to shake after spitting. Xu Xilin patted his back and raised a hand in fear. Protecting him, suspecting that he will fall to the ground at any time: "What's going on?"
Dou Xun waved his hand, rinsed his mouth expressionlessly, and slumped on the sofa.
After Dou Junliang looked for him, Xu Xilin was so busy at school that he didn't go home for a long time. He didn't know Dou Xun's current state, so he found a blanket to cover Dou Xun: "It's like this every day. ?"
Dou Xun answered briefly, "No."
Xu Xilin knew what his life was like as a salesman at a glance. He was distressed and angry. He walked around like a beast for a few laps, and suddenly stretched out his hand to Dou Xun forcefully: "Where's your phone number?"
Dou Xun opened his eyes a little and looked at him suspiciously.
Xu Xilin: "Give me, I'll quit this job for you."
Dou Xun stood motionless with him, Xu Xilin waited for a while, ran out of patience, and simply searched by himself, Dou Xun rolled over and pressed his wrist—Dou Xun didn't fall into a watermelon peel in vain at the boxing gym, pulling and tugging, Xu Xilin staggered on the sofa with an unsteady center of gravity, and kicked the small coffee table with his outstretched legs. The coffee table screamed and slid off the floor.
Dou Xun lay on his side, clasped Xu Xilin's hand tightly, then closed his eyes and raised it against his forehead.
Xu Xilin took a few breaths, a real fire of samadhi was flowing back and forth in his heart, and he felt that Dou Xun in front of him was a slap on his face: "You are ruining yourself!"
Dou Xun's hands tightened.
"You're not allowed to go tomorrow," Xu Xilin slammed out, but without twitching, he became furious, "Did you hear me!"
Dou Xun: "No."
Xu Xilin: "If you have nothing to love and torture yourself, will you go to the bricks and cement tomorrow? Are you sick!"
What is he working so hard for? In order to let Dou Xun live such a ghost life? No self-respecting man could take such a blow.
Dou Xun is not only ruining himself, but also ruining his mind.
Dou Xun listened to his roar, gritted his teeth and said nothing, his stubbornness flared up.
Since he has chosen a path for himself, he will never look back, never admit defeat, and he will climb down. Show it to Dou Junliang, show Xu Xilin, let them all know that he is not an ignorant child, and let them be his master with less self-righteousness.
Xu Xilin's temples jumped, and he raised his hand to drink Dou Xun's remaining half glass of water. The spicy taste of ginger made his eyes turn red, he was silent for a while, and said in a hoarse voice: "Bean paste, I will send you to study abroad, okay? ?"
They are too young, and it is difficult to maintain this relationship. It is better to separate for a short time, allowing him to have a full-fledged opportunity, and also allowing him to slowly grind with his grandmother. Perhaps relying on the old man's favor, he can win in a year or two to her understanding.
But Dou Xun failed to understand his far-reaching plans. After overhearing Grandma Xu's words, the hanging boot finally fell to the ground. Dou Xun opened his eyes suddenly, half relieved and half desperate: "Finally coming."
Xu Xilin didn't notice Dou Xun's strange expression, and pretended to say lightly: "We don't need Dou Junliang, if you can apply for a scholarship, even if you feel bad for me, it's okay if you don't, I'll support you first - in the future you will come back and work for me for the rest of your life. ,OK?"
Dou Xun couldn't listen to it, and decided that Xu Xilin was trying to get rid of him, and felt that he was coaxing and prevarication no matter what he said: "No."
Xu Xilin sighed: "Bean paste, listen to me..."
Dou Xun: "No."
Xu Xilin wanted to have a seizure for a moment, but held back hard, he thought for a while, and said to Dou Xun, "It's not like in ancient times, when you go to the next county town, you have to drag your family to pass books with geese, and it's not because there is no Internet, I will guarantee that every day in the future. Contact you, if you can't go home during the holiday, I'll fly over to see you, okay? Or I'll swear, if I become a millimeter of heart in the past few years, the next thunderstorm will smash me into scum!"
His last sentence was already irritated, but Dou Xun tasted his murderous pledge without saying a word, and then said, "No."
Xu Xilin shook his head and smiled briefly, then he stood up abruptly, and his suppressed anger burst out: "Then what do you want from me? Take out your heart and show it to you? Do you have at least some trust in me? !"
Dou Xun didn't, and he didn't bother to make up good words to coax him, and stared at him stubbornly and stubbornly.
Xu Xilin's chest was cold, he sneered, turned around and went to the kitchen to take the dinner he had prepared, and went out without looking back.
After two years, the two started a cold war again.
Xu Xilin stayed with him in the hospital for a few days, and he had never seen Dou Xun. When his grandmother was discharged from the hospital and went home to recover, the two returned to the same roof, and Xu Xilin lived in the study downstairs, while Dou Xun went out early every day and returned late. For ten days and a half months, they didn't see each other, and they spent each other's time. The atmosphere at home became more depressed every day, and even the parrot didn't dare to bark.
When school was approaching, Lao Cheng called and asked them to go out. Dou Xun had to go to their broken company. He didn't promise to go, so Xu Xilin had to go there by himself.
"Our grandfather's kebab shop's start-up fund has exceeded 20,000!" Lao Cheng returned home for half a year, and his whole face was full of red, "particularly commend the major shareholder Xu and the second shareholder Dou, and other comrades also keep trying..."
Xu Xilin paused - Dou Xun didn't tell him that he sent money to his grandfather's account.
They were a small group that Dou Xun accepted each other for the first time in his life. Although he and Wu Tao had always been at odds, and all they did together were going to the restaurant to be a waiter... He was still indifferently in love.
Yu still: "Tell Dou Xun again, what are you busy with, I can't even call you."
Just as Xu Xilin was about to explain a few words for him, the door of their private room was pushed open. Deng Shu, who loved nail polish back then, came in and greeted everyone strangely.
"Eighteen changes in the women's university, how come going to a university is like the whole body, sit here and sit here!" Wu Tao whistled at her, he said, and moved a place from Xu Xilin to let her.
After Deng Shu stuffed chocolate into his bag once, he didn't say anything clearly. Xu Xilin couldn't refuse in front of him.
This would be unexpectedly encountered, Xu Xilin was about to die of embarrassment, grabbed Lao Cheng, and asked in a low voice, "Which idiot called?"
The old man didn't see his ugly face in the dark and blind fire. He smiled and touched Xu Xilin's face: "The eighteenth change of the male college, why did you go to a university and look like you had a full face?"
Xu Xilin had the intention to stand up and leave, but Deng Shu had already sat down graciously: "Hello, Boss Xu, Boss Xu has a lot of time, so I can't get in line when we meet."
Xu Xilin couldn't keep the girl from coming down the stage in person, so he had to sit patiently and chat with her for a few words, intending to use the urine to escape and settle the account and leave.
Just when he was about to stand up, he didn't know how it happened - Dou Xun came.
Dou Xun didn't say whether he would come or not on the phone. When he showed up, he was a surprise to everyone except Xu Xilin.
As if seeing a national idol, Deng Shu was so excited that she grabbed Xu Xilin's sleeve: "You called Da Xian'er too! Da Xian is getting more and more..."
Without saying "handsome", Dou Xun walked straight to her.
Seeing his expression, Xu Xilin knew it was going to be bad, and in a hurry, he rudely shook off Deng Shu's hand.