Time has passed for a long time. Xu Xilin left that year, leaving the past and his home together. He went to many places, met many people, and passed countless troubles, fame, success and failure every day.
When he was disappointed, Xu Xilin was lying in the old haunted dormitory. He couldn't sleep in the winter, and the tip of his nose was cold. He remembered that when he was a child, he sold the famous brand shoes that Zheng Shuo gave him at a discount. When I was eating with my friends and dogs, I remembered when I was so arrogant, like my previous life.
And when he was proud, he would occasionally think of the time when he was humiliated by a man who opened a commissary with a paper that had been revised into a mess. What kind of humiliation, what kind of difficulty
It was clearly an easy thing to solve, so why did he feel cornered at the time? Why can't stand the pressure and turn off vitamins
And... everything with Dou Xun gradually became like a big dream, covered with a veil of distortion by memory.
Xu Xilin occasionally opened the childish love letter that Dou Xun once wrote to him, and saw the chocolate shell that had been preserved. Gradually, as if he had forgotten Li Bozhi, it was difficult to connect these souvenirs with what happened.
He just remembered the moment he broke up with Dou Xun unforgettable.
For so many years, Xu Xilin felt that he might have never walked out of the eyes Dou Xun looked at him at that time, but he seldom thought about it, he just kept moving forward, as if if he had been stronger, all the regrets would not have happened. Same.
Now, Dou Xun falls in front of him unexpectedly, Xu Xilin instinctively paints the peace, wishing he could draw the road and achievements over the years into a scroll, and unfold it in front of Dou Xun, in order to save and prove something similar.
After the death of Grandma Xu, Xu Xilin did not cook very seriously at all. Sometimes he was too lazy to soak the instant noodles and would rather eat them dry. . He also flirted with Dou Xun intentionally or unintentionally, deliberately showing that he was at ease in any situation. He was like a woman with a rotten face, full of failures, and he tried his best to build a layer of gold carving and jade carving.
In fact... even if Dou Xun admits that he has been very complacent all these years, what can he do
Even if he succeeded in making Dou Xun regret it, he broke up without looking back.
Even if Dou Xunzhen could do as he wished, let go of the past without any grudges, and start all over again—what could it be
Will those loneliness that have been unforgettable over the years disappear
Will the fear and powerlessness of those youth be annihilated from memory
"Vanity" is the same as "procrastination". It is something that has no logic and no benefits. Everyone knows it well, but it is always unavoidable to deceive oneself.
At this time, Xu Xilin's dream of self-deception that lasted for several days was broken by Dou Xun, who was dressed in gray in the cold cemetery.
He sweated profusely at first, and turned over like a tingling stomach cramp. He was poked with unbearable embarrassment, and he heard Dou Xun say, "I'll come and have a look."
"Oh," Xu Xilin came back to his senses, avoiding his gaze, "Okay, come with me."
He took two steps, remembered something again, and turned around to add: "Thank you."
Dou Xun: "Is your car unlocked?"
Xu Xilin: "..."
Xu Xilin locked the car again and took Dou Xun back from where he came from. He didn't say a word all the way, and brought Dou Xun to Grandma Xu's tomb. The gloomy sky was reflected on the bright stone tablet. The cemetery was peaceful and not gloomy.
Dou Xun put the flower down, bowed to the tombstone in a proper manner, and when he looked up, he found Xu Xilin standing a few steps away from him, his face a little pale, staring at the locust tree in the distance in a daze.
"I wanted to find a quiet place to stay before the college entrance examination. I didn't want to listen to Zhu Xiaocheng's arrangement and stay at your house." Dou Xun suddenly said, forcing Xu Xilin's attention back, "As a result, I met..."
Having said that, Dou Xun paused, not knowing what to call Grandma Xu.
When he was a child at Xu Xilin's house, he called her "grandma" directly, but when he got into trouble with Xu Xilin, he left without saying goodbye, not even when she was dying... Dou Xun felt that he didn't deserve to be called that again, but in front of Xu Xilin Saying "your grandma" is too alienating and ruthless.
After all, Dou Xun was not good at these things, so he had to rudely push it over.
It's a pity that Xu Xilin still heard it. He bowed his head slightly, and smiled lightly: "The old lady is popular, the young and the old... Right, grandpa? You have to be more careful."
He made a joke casually, and turned to Dou Xun again, trying to lead him out of the cemetery: "Come on, she didn't hurt you in vain—are you used to living in a new place? What day do you officially go to work over there?"
Dou Xun can see through it, Xu Xilin's temperament of "a bed of brocade has been covered, hello I am hello everyone" will not change in this life, no matter how old he is, what identity he has, and how much money he has in his hands.
Dou Xun got angry when he saw his virtue, and his heart was filled with old-fashioned fire. The tip of his tongue moved a few times, but he quickly took two deep breaths and swallowed the words that were about to be rushed out.
He reminded himself from time to time—to be patient with Xu Xilin, never to force him, let alone tear up his paintings, otherwise he would be forced to leave and go because he is now alone and not hungry. Where did they get arrested
"Like you," Dou Xun said a little boredly, "the school is not in a hurry, I will report to the project first - I've troubled you for the past two days. Can I treat you to a meal?"
Xu Xilin breathed a sigh of relief, but he didn't expect that after three days of separation, Dou Xun also knew that "there is room for three points, tacit understanding".
As soon as he relaxed, the hot sweat just evaporated, and the nervous stomach began to churn, but Dou Xun was rarely so considerate, and Xu Xilin was reluctant to leave anyway, so he had to go to the appointment as if nothing had happened.
Xu Xilin cheered up, and started to use the topic from Dou Xun's taxi. He could smoothly extend the topic without talking to anyone. He talked about the license plate number, which is not easy to shake, and talked about the new energy industry. It's enough to talk about it, but he never mentions grave sweeping.
He didn't ask how Dou Xun knew that today was grandmother's memorial day, he didn't ask him why he came over without saying hello, he didn't explain why he didn't tell him, and he refused to ask Dou Xun why he didn't reply to his email.
When he arrived at the hotel, Xu Xilin had already worried about Dou Xun's inconvenience without a private car.
He didn't want to eat, and when he saw the food served, he felt sick to his stomach, so he concentrated on thinking of the bad idea: "How about you take my ride to work in the future? I know it won't be on the way... It's okay, I can move the company, anyway, I said here. Calculate."
Dou Xun: "Don't talk nonsense."
Xu Xilin served him a bowl of soup with a smile—the topic of nonsense is the safest.
During this meal, Xu Xilin felt very uncomfortable both physically and psychologically. Afterwards, he had cold sweats on his back, which was a bit of a forced smile.
He sent Dou Xun all the way home. Dou Xun looked up at the unfamiliar apartment building he just moved into, and suddenly turned around and said to Xu Xilin, "I didn't receive the email you sent me at the time."
Xu Xilin's hand waving goodbye to him froze for a moment.
Dou Xun didn't say which email it was, but they both knew it.
Dou Xun put his hand on his car door and said softly, "My mailbox was disabled at the time, and I didn't see it until a long time later. When you came back, you had already left."
Xu Xilin, who had been talking all the way, seemed to have taken a drug for the dumb, and after a long while he made a single voice: "... um."
Then he paused unnaturally for a while, and then said, "Got it. The old lady slept all night, she didn't suffer any guilt, and she has no regrets."
Dou Xun gave him a careful look, then bent down and said to him, "You look bad, go back early."
He will look at other people's faces.
Xu Xilin smiled at him, smiling silently, looking very gentle.
Dou Xun restrained himself from turning back three times, and hurried back to his newly rented house.
He is not used to the house - Dou Xun is not a particularly particular person in private. He is in a foreign country, even studying and then working. He has changed two residences. He always sends paper books and materials first, and his own things. One suitcase can fit.
But Xu Xilin was too meticulous, and wished he could fill his small room and living room with functional cupboards and cabinets, decorative vases and hangings, everything... It was almost like a home.
However, this is not home, and Dou Xun is very at a loss due to too many burdens.
He went upstairs without taking off his coat, so he silently walked to the window and looked downstairs to see if Xu Xilin had left.
It stands to reason that it is enough to send someone to see someone go upstairs. It was broad daylight. Dou Xun was a man who had practiced free fighting for many years. Xu Xilin didn't need to see the lights in his house, but he didn't leave. Dou Xun watched upstairs for five minutes, but Xu Xilin's car didn't move a centimeter.
Dou Xun suddenly felt that something was wrong and turned around and went downstairs.
Dou Xun, the source of tension, was gone, and Xu Xilin's stomach, which had been tumultuous all morning, finally had room to play. He was really uncomfortable, so he lay on the steering wheel for a while, and Dou Xunfang's words echoed repeatedly in his mind. not come out.
Suddenly, the door of the car next to him was "hooked" open.
Dou Xun turned to block the cold wind pouring into the car, frowned and asked, "What's the matter with you?"
His voice was too tight and seemed a bit stern. Xu Xilin didn't expect him to return and raised his head blankly.
Dou Xun snapped his chin, and glanced at his slightly sweaty forehead and bent waist: "Why didn't you say you were uncomfortable?"
Xu Xilin: "No..."
Dou Xun: "Get off the car and sit over there."
Xu Xilin: "...Oh."
The stomach hurts, sometimes in bursts, after a while, Xu Xilin slowly came back to life, and suddenly laughed.
Dou Xun looked at him with a sullen face.
"I think of a cold joke." Xu Xilin said, "I'll send you home first, and then you'll send me back... Hey, wait, Comrade Dou Xun, it's not this way!"
Dou Xun slammed the brakes to the bottom and stopped at the gate of the community.
There is a security booth of the property in the middle of the entrance of their community, and there are two lanes on the left and right sides.
Dou Xun was caught in Xu Xilin's cold joke, and he drove to the entrance of the house without thinking about it, just in time to walk opposite the oncoming car.
The security guard stuck his head out in his military coat, narrowed his eyes and shouted at Dou Xun, "Hey, handsome guy, how much did you pay for that book?"
Dou Xun actually had a driver's license before he went abroad, but he had little chance to drive. Later, he got used to driving on the left, and he didn't change it for a while. He rarely made such low-level mistakes, so he quickly apologized to the security guard and reversed the car unskilledly.
The helpful and enthusiastic little security guard hurriedly ran out to command: "Fall down a little... OK, play the wheel on the right, look at the curbs here... Oh my god, where are you looking, I'm so anxious, brother, it's more popular than left and right. Green blindness is a big threat, why do you have to drive if you don't want to?"
Dou Xun looked embarrassed.
Xu Xilin collapsed on the co-pilot with a quick smile.
"If you laugh again, go back by yourself." Dou Xun said with a stern face.
As a result, after a while, he couldn't hold back his face and showed a little smile.
Dou Xun stumbled and stumbled to familiarize himself with the road conditions. He was especially tangled when he turned the corner. Fortunately, the Spring Festival holiday was not over yet, and there were not as many people on the street as usual. I was overtaken by the electric car, and my psychological quality was quite stable.
Xu Xilin didn't dare to talk to him at first, but when he got home all the way, he found that Dou Xun quickly got used to it after a short hurry. , haven't it been open for a long time?"
"I only drive right-hand drive cars," Dou Xun said, "I forgot about it just now."
Xu Xilin first said "oh", and then reacted incorrectly: "Right rudder? You are not... "
Dou Xun: "Huh?"
"Aren't you in America?" Xu Xilin was a little surprised, "I always thought you were with your mother."
"Why am I looking for her?" Dou Xun didn't ask him how to get there, opened Xu Xilin's navigation, locked "home" directly, and asked back, "I thought you knew, haven't you seen Zhu Xiaocheng all these years?"
I have seen it, but I haven't dared to ask.
Xu Xilin was silent.
After a long while, he adjusted his sitting position slightly, and his eyes fell on the road in front of him: "I thought someone would take care of you... How did you live alone?"
Dou Xun immediately asked back, "How do you know that I am yourself?"
Xu Xilin: "..."
Dou Xun followed the navigation and turned into the side road: "Laocheng told you?"
If you think about it a little, you will know, otherwise, as a person of Xu Xilin, even if he is empty and lonely, he will not blatantly surround him with hospitality.
Xu Xilin was a little embarrassed, and said, "Uh... I heard him mention it when we were chatting."
Dou Xun glanced at him quickly, and glanced at the dodgy eyes.
"I'm alone," Dou Xun thought to himself, "I came here thinking of you, and when I encounter unpleasant things, I will pull you out and hate you, but I still miss you most of the time."
But he didn't say that.
Dou Xun kicked the ball back: "I thought someone would take care of you."
"Well... I'm alright," Xu Xilin smiled dryly. "Going out depends on friends. After all, it's domestic, so it's easier to mess around than outside—the innermost building, the empty parking space in the middle is mine."
Dou Xun parked the car under the guidance of Xu Xilin, and involuntarily ordered: "Don't move."
He got out of the car and went around to the other side, pulled Xu Xilin's arm, and helped him down.
Xu Xilin's palms were sweaty, and when he got out of the car, he stumbled on his feet - in fact, Dou Xun pulled him, Xu Xilin pushed the boat along the water, and just threw Dou Xun to the tree in the isolated parking space next to him.
Xu Xilin was supported by Dou Xun with one hand, and the other hand supported the small tree that had lost its leaves in winter. He wrapped him in a small space between his arms and smelled the smell of detergent on Dou Xun's clothes. Steal an intimate touch with mixed feelings.
Dou Xun clenched his hand suddenly, lowered his head slightly, the tip of his nose almost touched Xu Xilin's face, his expression remained unchanged, and whispered in Xu Xilin's ear, "You know I'm not asking about a friend."
After speaking, Dou Xun lowered his eyes, his eyelashes fell neatly in a row, covering his greedy eyes.
Those eyes fell on Xu Xilin's chapped lips with unruly intentions, for a moment, as if he wanted to kiss him.