Carvin for nearly a month.
I have been thinking about renewing this month, but my mood is not right. A few days before my birthday, I vowed that starting today, I must write it out, save some manuscripts, and send five chapters on my birthday.
Then think, send four chapters.
Chapter three...
Yesterday, I wrote half a chapter, and after thinking about it, I overturned it. Today, I think, yes, maybe a chapter is gone, but fortunately I wrote it. Almost nine thousand words, I originally wanted to write more, but near midnight, the best emotions have been lost, it is only suitable for recording some things, and it is not suitable for plotting.
What I can tell you is that when there are some problems in life, it is not a big event, a small bump. In the past month, I have been emotionally chaotic and had two serious fights with my wife. Although it should be benign at present, it has affected my code words after all. It's really a new reason for me to break the update, but it's the fact that I didn't have an explanation for it anyway, right.
Married to my wife on December 16, 15, it has been a year and a half so far. Our acquaintance is very ordinary, but also a bit strange. She went to my uncle's shop to buy kitchen utensils. The customer and the boss had various bargaining battles. My uncle said that you are not married yet. I will introduce you to someone and call The phone called me to the store and said someone had arrived. During that time, I was confused about the code words, but the phone call came and I had to go there politely. I went with my mother, and when I met her and her mother, after a conversation, she said a few words to me. talk.
Tsk, she's very beautiful, she doesn't have any expressions, she's an elite woman, and she can't get in.
This is probably the first impression, but I have already met, and I added WeChat. Out of courtesy, I invited her to watch a movie and watched the movie for dinner. Later, she asked me to eat, and she took the initiative to pay after the meal. Talking about it, she felt that the code words were very poor, as it should be.
She works at the TV station, right in front of my house, and she hooked up when she came and went. She is very busy. She has to work overtime in the TV station and outside the TV station. Speaking of which, she really started to make me feel good. I am afraid that she has been working overtime all the time. I later found out that she bought it in the best community here. I bought a house. The house on our side was very cheap. At that time, it was more than 3,000 yuan per flat. She wanted to buy a house for her parents to live in. She only had 20,000 yuan in her pocket, so she went to see the house and sign the contract.
Then there is constant overtime. In the TV station, she is doing technical work, working overtime to do special effects, and constantly picking up jobs outside the TV station, making films for others, organizing activities for others, and then paying the down payment, handing over the house and starting the decoration. It's incredible that she managed to get the money in and pay the credit card from last month.
I remember that during that time, she also went to take the civil service exam and made a phone call and said, "Today we are going to the party school for training, would you like to come with me." I said, "Okay, let's go and cultivate our morals." This was the date at that time. .
During that time, I always remembered that when I bought a house at the age of 25, I had saved enough for the down payment, and was paid tens of thousands of yuan by an uncle. Later, I didn’t pay it back. When it came time to pay, the policy changed the down payment from 20% to thirty percent. I was typing in my room every day, and I lost my hair after getting up. At that time, I wrote "Alienation", which was especially difficult. On the one hand, I wanted to write a little more, but on the other hand, I wanted to have no quality. cried several times.
I think I found treasure.
The original intention of our being together is sincere and I want to help her share these things. She has a strong character, and she doesn't please the leaders. She works overtime all day on the TV station. I often go to deliver meals. Since I changed leaders in the second half of 2015, life has become even more difficult. One day at noon, it was said that a leader came to inspect, and the TV station editor-in-chief Lao Huang asked the technical department to stay in the office at noon, and would not be allowed to go to dinner. I took the food and sent it over at about 1 o'clock, and a person who looked like a leader came over to see it and asked, "Ah, haven't you eaten yet?" It was only later that I found out that it was the editor-in-chief who had previously ordered not to go to dinner.
Another night, the director and the editor-in-chief were guarding the change in the technical department when the film was changed until the end of get off work. They went like this: the director went to eat first, and then went to eat for the editor-in-chief, and the technicians were not allowed to eat.
I have seen leaders who ask people to work overtime, and leaders who do not allow people to eat after working overtime are really strange.
I've always wanted her to resign, even if I say raising her, that's fine, but she doesn't want to. After getting married, she was thinking about having a child, and there was a shortage of people in the platform, so she was asked to guard the computer room. It was said that there was radiation, and she was finally willing to resign, thank God.
After resigning for less than a month, I went to work in the library again, saying that the library is easy.
However, the library is the place where some officials and wives retire.
So I became a working technician again. After entering the library for a month, I helped people write two articles and won two inexplicable awards, one with my own name on it. A group of old employees who have worked in the library for many years, let She made up the year-end summary for several years, because she had no background, and she was always annoying.
What a strange environment.
There are still many things to do, but in short, I finally decided to leave this year. The library has been downgraded from the first level to the third level, and even the third level has to be maintained this year. The curator asked her to "carry up the work". The accountant is always scolding her, because she is looking for her to do things while at the same time. You imagine an accountant who hasn't done the accounts for a few years, and when the work group moves into the cultural department, ask a new employee who has been in the museum for half a year to help fill in the accounts
After leaving the library, she went to sell flowers again. Her classmates opened a wholesale department in Changsha, and she saw business opportunities again. During this period, we went on a trip to Guangzhou. For seven days, she came to my aunt and ran around outside to buy things. I booked the best hotel for her to rest, but she couldn't rest. After visiting Guangzhou, I have to go back to sell flowers. So there was a fight.
I am also very tired.
For a year and a half or even longer, I have always had only one purpose, which is to relieve her burden. We are not short of money. Although my income from writing books is not comparable to that of well-known gods, it is still enough to live a well-off life. As time goes by, I can even go out to travel at any time with my computer on my back. The most important thing is that I don’t have many partners, and there is no dinner party that must be attended by people who must socialize. It's been the best day ever. I hope she understands that we don't need anything anymore, we don't have so many burdens, buy what you want, go where you want to go, for a year and a half, I haven't been out alone On a few trips, I even rejected the annual meeting at the starting point.
But her heart couldn't settle down.
Maybe I'm not doing enough, maybe I'm not doing it right. I also hope to be able to be like the one on TV, where Moisture waits silently for her to let go one day, without a sense of urgency, at least not yet.
So there were a few fights.
For a long time, she also had psychological problems, and she was immature in controlling her emotions. She often sulked about others' problems, and then couldn't eat. With a weight of 1.68 meters, 80 jins, I was almost thin into ribs. The problem she encountered after selling flowers was that her mother, my mother-in-law, said all day that it was pointless for her to sell flowers, and she wanted her to go back to work in the civil service.
My mother-in-law is also a strange person. Her heart is really good, but she is a child. She jumps up and down for this and that kind of thing. I hope everyone can do things at her pace. On the first New Year’s Eve after we got married, we spent it in the house of our parents-in-law, which was renovated by my wife. The furniture had not been bought yet. The living room was cold and there was no air conditioner. When I was tired, what would you like to eat while going up and down, whether to eat dumplings or not, I went to get it and tossed it all night. At that time, I thought, what a good person.
When his wife goes to work, she has to go to the place of work every day, and she has to point fingers at everything. She likes civil servants, so she despises flower shops and so on. His wife is often said to be unhappy. I have to call for instructions three times, have lunch been made, have lunch been eaten... I couldn't eat yesterday, and we had a fight again. My mood is hardly disturbed by any other person. After getting married, there is only one more person. After returning to Kawen in Guangzhou for a month, my mood is also extremely poor, and I am full of frustration. The mood of coding is not in place, because Anxiety and headache. I just said that it has been a year and a half, and I have done what I should do. If your emotions have been affected by various factors, and eventually your body will be affected, what should I do? Don't you want both of your lives
Let go of what should be let go.
She quarreled with the Queen Mother today and ran back crying. The Queen Mother was worried about her and called me. I also talked to the Queen Mother, how can a thirty-year-old call for food all day long , many things we can do ourselves. After speaking, I was afraid that she would be mad, so I sent a message to my father-in-law to ask if she was mad...
She is also a really good person, a kind-hearted person rarely seen in society.
Actually, in real life, there are many mother-in-laws who are difficult to get along with. Many times I think about it, my mother-in-law is really... difficult to get along with. She genuinely cares about us, and wants us to live the lifestyle of 60-year-old cadres... Of course, we'd better be civil servants.
Sometimes I think that my wife lacks a sense of accomplishment in the process of life.
She is actually very talented. She can get started with everything quickly, and can have her own insights into art, design, photography, and flower arrangement. inconsistent with ability. After graduating from school, she did game design and even had her own studio, earning a monthly salary of 30,000 yuan in her early twenties. After that, she returned to Wangcheng and hoped to take care of her by her mother's side, and her mother rushed her into the bureaucratic system, so she didn't get any sense of accomplishment.
Sometimes I watch her do this and that clumsily, trying to find a way out. For a while, she even wanted to do a live broadcast. Most of her Weibo posts were my book fans. She gave live broadcasts about flower arrangement and cheating in exams. There were two times in total, and I showed my face and left. I think she hopes her success is her own success. She wanted to make clothes for a while, desperately trying to contact Guangzhou manufacturers, and seeing the increase in her followers on Weibo, she said to me with great interest: "Now I’m all your fans, I started the online store and started washing powder.” I said you need to spend some money to build it first, and I’ll pay for the first store to accumulate experience.
She was reluctant.
She likes to watch the live broadcast of an internet celebrity on the Internet. That internet celebrity always broadcasts her own life. She is a woman. I didn't like it when I heard it. She said she was watching people's lives. It's fake and deceitful.
Those clumsy people who broadcast flower arrangements to a group of book fans, and then see the live broadcast when there are fewer and fewer people, are true.
How cute is that clumsy.
About life, we can say 10,000 great truths, and put them in a book, which is convincing.
In reality, I think we're all clumsily struggling in our own quagmire.
Hope my wife can find inner peace.
I hope my mother-in-law can understand that everyone has their own life.
Although it is more likely that today's quarrel will become tomorrow's bullshit. Nothing but life. I think I'm still very lucky.
I originally didn't plan to write this year's essays, because maybe few people will write about these trivial life on the public platform, especially if it's still a real life, but I thought about it later, it's pretty good, there's nothing I can't say. Over the years, most of the friends I can talk to in my life are far away. In fact, I have basically lost the desire to talk to the people around me. I am still used to writing them down on paper and on the computer, and whoever can see them is my friend. Don't we all experience life.
This is my thirty-two-year-old conundrum and story.