Shen Xing and Guan Rui couldn't say who fell in love with whom first. It was not a vigorous love like love at first sight, but a long and steady stream of love hidden in the years, which was warm and gentle and pointed directly at people's hearts.
When he was 18 years old, Guan Rui was admitted to a university in the north. He was leaving his hometown. The day before he left, he made an appointment with Shen Xing. The two walked into a familiar alley. Because they had their own concerns, for a while, No one even spoke.
Finally, they came to the roof of an old bungalow. Guan Rui's home used to be here. Guan Rui once told Shen Xing that when he was in a bad mood, he would come to the roof to look at the sky and the distance. After they met, Over the years, he often brought Shen Xing here.
They are very pure, and all the stories that happened on this rooftop are nothing more than how Guan Rui encouraged Shen Xing to face all the sadness and sadness in the orphanage.
Are they both in a bad mood on this day? Unexpectedly, the day before they parted, they all chose to come to this rooftop.
For the first time, Guan Rui bought some snacks and two bottles of beer before going to the roof.
"This is to celebrate me getting admitted to college, and also to celebrate you getting admitted to high school." Guan Rui opened the beer and handed a bottle to Shen Xing. He said this.
Shen Xing took a shallow sip of beer. It was her first time drinking. The frothy and somewhat bitter liquid slid down her throat and into her stomach. Even her heart became bitter along with it. This feeling was strange and... Very addictive.
Shen Xing said: "Just celebrate your college. I will not go to high school. The orphanage will only raise us until we are 16 years old. I will go to a normal technical secondary school and there will be no tuition fees. (The previous technical secondary schools did not charge tuition fees.) ), there are also subsidies, and even distribution after graduation, I have already thought about these..."
The children in the orphanage are so precocious that it makes people feel distressed. Shen Xing is even more precocious than them. She has already been planning her future step by step.
She knew very well that in the orphanage, she had no choice about her future. Her excellent grades were just to allow herself to get into the cheapest place.
At that time, it was much more difficult to take the technical secondary school entrance exam than the high school entrance exam.
"Isn't it just three years?" Guan Rui took a big sip of wine and suddenly said seriously to Shen Xing: "High school tuition is not high. You save so much, and your living expenses are not much! Let me support you in high school. Well, don’t give up on college, your grades are so good.”
"No, how can you afford it?" Shen Xing was moved, but she still refused. After a few years, she believed that Guan Rui was sincere at this moment, but she was an insecure person, and she would She adheres to the principle that feelings cannot be betrayed, but she believes that people in this world are changeable.
She will remember Guan Rui's kindness, but she dare not put her future on Guan Rui.
Faced with Shen Xing's rejection, Guan Rui was very excited. He told Shen Xing loudly: "It's okay. College students get subsidies from the school every month. There are many ways to make money. Plus my own living expenses, it's better to save a little." OK."
"No..." Shen Xing still wanted to refuse.
But Guan Rui had already drank half a bottle of beer at this moment. It was his first time drinking and he seemed a little excited. He couldn't help himself. He stepped forward and put his hands on Shen Xing's shoulders. His face was a little red and his voice was trembling. He said to Shen Xing: "Don't reject me. I just want to be with you from now on. From now on, when I grow up, my father once said to me that men have to protect women and bear a burden. Family responsibility. I just... just regard you as my family in my heart, and I... want to start from now on..."
Guan Rui didn't speak anymore. The hands he put on Shen Xing's shoulders were trembling slightly. This was the first time he had made such an 'intimate' move towards Shen Xing. It was his confession that he didn't even like half of it. .
Shen Xing recorded in her diary that this was the most beautiful confession she had ever heard in the world, and that night, his eyes were so clear and sincere.
They originally liked each other, but due to their young age, they did not tell the truth about it. Love is always the most touching thing. Even Shen Xing, who had a thick wall in her heart, could not refuse. At that moment, she lowered her head and whispered Said one word: "Okay."
The meaning behind this word "good" is huge, because it means that Shen Xing has placed his fate on Guan Rui.
Guan Rui was very excited after receiving this good word. He understood that this was also Shen Xing's promise to be with him. He finally couldn't help but hug Shen Xing lightly and soon let go. This was their relationship at that time. Love was also the first time they were so close.
That year, Guan Rui was 18 years old and Shen Xing was 15 years old. That year was 1988.
In the following years, Shen Xing resolutely chose high school, but was warned by the orphanage that they could not afford the tuition of Shen Xing High School because there were too many children in the orphanage and their funds were limited.
Shen Xing talked to the people at the orphanage. She said that she would not let the orphanage bear a penny whether it was study or life. She would also help the orphanage with work. She just wanted a place to live.
It was a time of dependence on each other, and although Shen Xing and Guan Rui were just two children in a certain sense at that time, they were worthy of these two words.
At the same time, it was also a bitter time, but full of the melody of struggle.
During those years, in addition to dealing with high school courses, Shen Xing also had a lot of chores to do every day. She saved her life to the extreme, so that the girl in her prime years turned out to be sallow, thin, and somewhat malnourished.
And she feels that she is not miserable, because under Guan Rui's 'responsibility', her future life has so much more hope, and she can even go to college, and she also has her own happiness, such as every time she receives a letter from Guan Rui, And when writing a letter to Guan Rui.
Guan Rui would send money to Shen Xing every month. From the first month he went to school to the three years it took Shen Xing to finish high school, there was no interruption. He always told Shen Xing not to treat himself too badly and to eat well so that he could have the strength to study. He said - he could make money.
Shen Xing is still frugal. She doesn't want to be a burden to Guan Rui when she is in college. She wants to use the money she saves as college admission fees. She doesn't want to owe the university money. She can owe Guan Rui because she has decided to use it. Spend your whole life repaying Guan Rui's love.
In three years, Shen Xing has not seen Guan Rui once because Guan Rui was busy during winter vacation and summer vacation. He had to make money and he had no time to go home.
The only bridge between them was the letters. By the time Shen Xing finished his college entrance examination, the stack of letters had accumulated to 900, almost one every two days, and sometimes he would receive two in a day.
Shen Xing kept all these letters. When I was cleaning up her belongings, I burned them because Shen Xing said that everything should be burned in a fire and only this diary should be left.
In fact, I understand the reason for leaving this diary. It was an explanation to Brother Chengxin.
The story continues. After all the hardships, there will always be joy. During the summer vacation after Shen Xing finished the college entrance examination, Guan Rui finally came back. He did not tell Shen Xing a word about his parents' scolding for not going home. He was thinking about Shen Xing's college entrance examination results.
But the first words they said when they met were the same.
"you lost weight."
"you lost weight."
After saying that, they both laughed at each other. Yes, they have all lost weight. Guan Rui has become darker and thinner than before he went to college.
As for Shen Xing, because she couldn't keep up with her nutrition, she became yellow and thin, and even her hair looked a little dry.
But in each other's eyes, they are still the most beautiful people!
The next story is sweet. Shen Xing was admitted to the city where Guan Rui was located, which was very close to the university where Guan Rui was. Guan Rui, in his last year of college, relieved his responsibilities and was admitted to the graduate school.
Life in college is still hard, but no matter how hard it is, it can't be more painful than those past years. But when the years pass, those three years are the gems in their memories, shining brightly and being the most unbreakable and firm cornerstone of their relationship.
Then came some trivial life, both graduated, both returned to their hometowns, both worked very well, and Guan Rui's parents also liked the introverted and tenacious Shen Xing. They got engaged, and they were getting married...
After seeing this, I was a little afraid to continue reading, because I already knew how cruel the ending was, but I sighed and chose to continue reading.
In 1997, the year when Shen Xing and Guan Rui were preparing to get married, Guan Rui fell ill. It was an incurable disease - terminal lymphoma.
In Guan Rui's last life, it was Shen Xing who accompanied him without any regrets, took care of him with all his heart, and ran desperately to find a cure.
But all this, no matter how sincere and precious, could not save Guan Rui's life. Just one month before their October wedding, Guan Rui passed away.
That day, Shen Xing's tears fell silently. She just said to Guan Rui: "Just wait another month, and I can marry you."