To my dearest fiancée: After so many years in the army, I have never written a suicide note. This is the first time.
My father and I have an unspoken understanding that when we are fighting on the battlefield and there is no news, it is good news.
Even if there is news, no specific details can be announced to the outside world, because we are soldiers who safeguard justice and peace in the country.
And this time, it seemed that I finally had someone to write about. But I found myself not willing to let this letter fall into your hands.
But if unfortunately, this letter still falls into your hands. Prove that everything I have said to you is a lie and that I am a big liar.
I haven't given you any promises, and I haven't loved you.
For the liar who never loved you, please don't remember him for too long, because he has forgotten you long ago.
—Shi Yibei
In his suicide note, there is not a single word of missing or a single word of reluctance.
What the black and white words want to convey is just eight words: I don’t love you, please forget me.
"What a fool..." With a choked voice, the hands holding the letter couldn't stop shaking.
I don't know how helpless he must have been when he was surrounded by armed men on the barren snow-capped mountains.
Obviously he went there as a helper, but he was cruelly abandoned by those in need of help.
If possible, she really wanted to be by her side at that moment, holding his hand tightly and telling him that she was by his side.
Life or death doesn't matter, what matters is being by his side, by his side, by his side.
I don't know when I fell asleep, I just know that this dream was very long, and Shi Yibei in the dream was very gentle, and he looked as dazzling in his private clothes as he did in the conference room that day.
She wanted to grab his hand, but found that there was nothingness in front of her, as if she was in a chaotic space, surrounded by darkness and no light could be seen.
In the dream, Shi Yibei just smiled quietly, gently touching her head and face.
Luo Qingchen wanted to ask something, but found that she couldn't make a sound at all. Tears fell silently from his cheeks. He raised his hand and gently wiped them away for her.
The picture became increasingly blurry, and the only sound that sounded like an extremely hoarse voice came from my ears—
Wait for me, wait for me to come back——
"Ding bell—" There was another crazy ringtone from her cell phone. She frowned and wanted to throw the phone away, but at that moment, the last words Shi Yibei said in her dream were still echoing in her ears.
My whole body was frightened to death, as if I had been hit with adrenaline, and I was instantly energetic.
"Hello-"
"Qingchen... you... are you okay?"
"Sorry Xiaojiu." She bit her lip and said, "If you are just here to comfort me, you'd better leave me alone."
As soon as the sound fell, she was about to hang up the phone.
"Qingchen, Master Shi's memorial service... are you coming?" Xiaojiu didn't forget to add: "No one in the company knows about this. It was the man who came to me alone yesterday, that is Mr. Shi." assistant."
Such a long sentence, Luo Qingchen only heard three words.
Memorial service, memorial service, memorial service.
"I go… "
"The time is half past seven tomorrow morning."
"Um."
She hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and walked into the bathroom.
When the scalding hot water was poured on her head, she felt like she was coming back to life a little from the edge of death.
I took a black windbreaker jacket, black round-brimmed hat, black gloves, and black bag from the closet.
Standing in front of the mirror, I almost shed tears.
The white wedding dress I longed for turned out to be a black memorial dress. (To be continued)