I had a very long dream.
A messy, sporadic dream that connects my life.
I dreamed that when I was eight years old, my father had just tested my seventh brother and me on knowledge. As usual, I always lost to my seventh brother, so my father smiled and shook his head in front of the master, "This son of mine just loves to show off his cleverness. He is not smart, not smart!"
The way he looked at my seventh brother was always different from the way he looked at me. He was more polite when he looked at me. Being polite to one's own son was a very common thing in the royal family. My father was even polite to my crown prince.
To be polite, this statement is polite in nature, but in fact, it is cold.
The only person he dotes on is his Seventh Brother.
The seventh brother always said that the emperor did not dote on him, because he felt that the emperor had the most stringent requirements on him, and asked him to do his best in riding, shooting and learning. Then he would shake his head and sigh in front of all the officials, "My son, Xiao Zhen, is probably a loser."
He is the emperor, and the seventh brother wants to be as useless as him? What does this imply
But sometimes, he would make it clear, such as at a family dinner or a banquet for ministers, after he had a few drinks, he would look at his seventh brother with satisfaction and say, "This boy will be able to take on important responsibilities in the future."
The Crown Prince is not unhappy, but I am worried about him. He has no sense of crisis and always feels that the Seventh Brother threatens him.
I reminded him before, but all I got in return was a scolding, saying that the emperor favors the seventh brother because he is indeed a good person.
Brothers should be friendly and respectful to each other.
The Crown Prince doesn't understand. Even if they are from an ordinary commoner family, it is unfair for his father to be so partial to them. He will also be biased when the family property is divided in the future.
As for the royal family, it goes without saying that once you are named a prince, can you really sit back and relax and become the emperor in the future
It’s bad enough that my father is partial to my seventh brother, but even our ancestor is the same.
I have admired my ancestor very much since I was a child. A woman was able to assist three emperors, and all the civil and military officials in the court were convinced by her.
However, even the old ancestor was so polite to me. Whenever I went to pay my respects to her, she was always in a friendly manner. As far as I can remember, she never scolded me.
However, she always scolded Seventh Brother.
I can't remember what I was scolding him for.
But I remember the expression on her face when she scolded Seventh Brother. Her face was slightly annoyed, but her eyes contained a bit of doting. After scolding him, she hit him on the head again and sent him away.
My mother actually regards our ancestors as role models, role models for women, and role models for women in the harem.
She had high hopes for her seventh brother. Whenever she heard her father praising him, a hint of excitement would show on her face. Then, she would subconsciously glance at her mother out of the corner of her eye, and then the corners of her mouth would slightly curl up, forming a sarcastic smile.
The sisters have been fighting for many years, but it was only their mother who was fighting. The queen mother cared for her mother in every possible way, taking care of her younger sister in everything from life to emotions.
But my mother did not appreciate it. She thought that if she really cared about me, she would have to give up the position of queen. My mother was the kind of person who would be hypocritical no matter how much she gave her if she didn't give her what she wanted.
In fact, she didn't want us to get close to the Queen Mother. I was obedient, but my Seventh Brother was not. Gradually, the Queen Mother lost confidence in my Seventh Brother.
When her father passed away, her elder brother, the Crown Prince, ascended the throne. Her mother became the Empress Dowager, and her mother's concubine was the Imperial Concubine Dowager. Although she already held a noble position, she felt like a beggar.
It was not until later that the emperor fell ill, which rekindled her hope.
However, when she heard her seventh brother talk about brotherly love and respect, and that he only wanted to assist his elder brother in governing the Zhou Dynasty and had no ambition to dominate the world, her mother was very angry, almost crazy.
She had been working hard over the years so that one day she could sit on the throne of the Empress Dowager. Even though she couldn't do that like her ancestors, she believed that a woman should at least be that way to be complete.
She placed her hopes on me.
It’s not that I don’t have ambition, I just don’t have confidence.
When I was young, I met the Regent King Qingtian once. I also learned some of the things about the Regent King Qingtian from other people.
The most popular rumor was that the Regent King Qingtian was not a mortal, but the reincarnation of a fire dragon. Of course, I didn't believe it until I saved Shangqiu, who told me that it was not impossible.
Shangqiu is a very talented person, or rather, a genius. I believe what he says.
I remember the time I met the Regent King Qingtian was when I was ten years old.
I was in a bad mood that day, so I sat by the lake and threw stones into the lake to vent my anger.
Because I lost to my seventh brother in riding and archery that day, my master said that I was not talented enough and needed to make up for my shortcomings with hard work. He said that my talent was not as good as my seventh brother's.
Actually, when I think back on it now, I don’t think my master’s words were harsh, but at the time I was very angry, so I pushed him and ran out.
The Regent King Qingtian sat next to me and asked me why I was angry.
I said I was bullied.
The Regent King Qingtian smiled and said, "If you don't want to be bullied, you have to be strong yourself."
The ten-year-old me looked at him with a confused look.
These words are like sparks, buried deep in my heart.
I know that one day, when my heart is broken into pieces, this spark will ignite the pieces and burn them fiercely.
It was also in that year that my aunt brought Rouyao into the palace. I saw her hiding behind my aunt, poking out her little head, her eyes as black as two balls of black mercury, and she was full of curiosity about everything in the palace.
She lived in the palace for a while, and then lived in her mother's palace. Occasionally, she would go to accompany her mother.
Rouyao likes to follow Seventh Brother very much, because Seventh Brother is the best in both knowledge and riding and archery.
Seventh Brother ignored her, but she still insisted on pestering him. She hid her little head behind the door and secretly watched us practicing sword, riding and archery in the archery range.
I feel really bad.
But I don’t know why I felt so bad. At that time, how could I understand feelings
However, as I grew older, I slowly realized that I probably fell in love with her from the first time I saw her.
Many people say that I like Rouyao because I want to compete with Seventh Brother.
For other things, I did compete with my seventh brother for them. For example, my seventh brother liked the sword given to him by the emperor's uncle very much, but I didn't like it. However, when I saw that my seventh brother liked it, I went to cry to my mother and asked her to let me play with it for just one day.
I successfully got the sword, played with it for two days, and then threw it aside.
Like this sword, there are many things that I fight for.
Only Rouyao is different. Maybe even Rouyao doesn’t believe it.
She is the only one I like purely.
Even for the throne, I am not so pure, half of it is because I want to prove myself.
Rouyao never liked to be close to me. She once scolded me, saying that I was selfish and always snatched other people's things.
I'm not angry, not angry at all. As long as she can talk to me, even if she hits me, I will be happy.
I just wanted to look at her, and watch her scold me, and I just smiled stupidly.
However, she said that I was hiding it very well and pretending to be aggrieved on purpose.
When I took Xia Zian away to the South, Xia Zian tried to delay time by mentioning Rouyao. I was very angry. She would never understand in her life that my feelings for Rouyao could never be involved in these messy things.
That is the most precious part of my heart.
(End of this chapter)