I never knew that people's life was like this.
Isn't it just a few more loads of grain? Is it necessary to shout about it in joy
Isn't it just that the court gives 50 wen pension to the elderly over 60 years old? As for the toothless mouth that is always open with joy
Isn't it just a rain after a long drought? Is it necessary to run all over the fields
Why do these people live such an easy life
Why can a pot of wine allow them to talk happily around the fire all night long
Why did I thank my neighbor profusely as if he had given me two pieces of gold when the neighbor only gave me two eggs
I do not understand.
When I left Fengzhou, I no longer felt as much hatred in my heart.
It was magical. I didn't realize it at first, but the night I was about to leave, I fell ill and he took me to see a doctor.
Xia Zian is seeing patients.
She didn't recognize me. I sat in front of her and gave her a fierce look, but she just smiled at me and said, "Don't worry, it's okay, just a cold."
She prescribed some medicine for me and told me to go home and boil it and take it.
I looked at the warm smile on her face, which was very different from the Xia Zian I knew before.
I suddenly stopped hating her.
Holding the medicine, I walked on the empty bluestone street, recalling the first half of my life.
What did I gain? What did I lose
In the following days, he took me through the lives of many people.
Three years later, he returned to the capital.
I didn't know until I returned to Beijing that when I was watching other people's lives, Xia Zian and Qi Ge reunited and they were together again.
When I found out that Rouyao had married that rough man Ajing from Beimo, I was very sad and angry.
I know that I will never be able to be with Rouyao in this life, but she deserves the best man in the world.
It is absolutely impossible that he is a reckless man like Ajing.
I want to kill A Jing.
I tried to escape in the dark, but I knew I couldn't escape because he was following me like a shadow.
My heart was broken at that time, I knew he took me out just to make me understand, not to help me conquer the world.
So, I don't care, either Ajing dies tonight or I die.
I hid outside their room, waiting for my chance.
I heard them talking.
They first talked about Xia Zian and Seventh Brother’s child, and then talked about Chen Liuliu’s child.
Finally, it came down to me.
"Prince Nan Huai has been missing since then, and there has been no news at all. Could he really be dead?" Ajing was asking Rouyao.
Rouyao was silent.
I know Rouyao never wants to talk about me, she hates me.
That's fine. I don't want her to tell anyone about me. It's between us.
But a moment later I heard Rouyao say, "I hope he's alive."
I still cannot describe how I felt at that time. I just felt like a stream of cold spring water was gushing out from the bottom of my heart, extinguishing all my anger.
"Don't you hate him anymore?" A Jing asked.
Rouyao was silent for a while and said, "I don't know. Maybe I hate it, maybe I don't hate it anymore. As for why, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm living a good life now, so I don't care about hatred anymore."
"If you hate someone, you won't be happy. Just let go." Ajing said.
Rouyao added: "Yes, I tortured myself for many years, but now I have let it go. Hate it or not, life has to go on. I just hope that everyone is well."
I sat outside the door for a while and then I heard footsteps. Rouyao was about to come out.
I immediately stood up and hid in the yard.
I saw Rouyao walking into the corridor, and I followed her subconsciously.
I actually could have avoided disturbing her, but for some reason I just wanted her to look back at me, even just for once.
So, I called softly, "Rouyao."
She turned around suddenly. The lanterns in the corridor were dim. Her face seemed real and unreal, with horror in her eyes.
"You..." She seemed to want to shout, but for some reason, no sound came out.
"I want to tell you that I have liked you since I was ten years old. I have done many wrong things, hurt your heart, and harmed you, so that you never believed that I really liked you."
I actually saw tears in her eyes.
"I just want to come and see you. After seeing you and knowing that you are well, I can leave," I said.
I don’t know why, but at that moment, I suddenly thought of my second brother.
He waited foolishly and silently, during those long years, he didn't know how long he could wait, but he always kept his distance, didn't get close, didn't hurt, and would rather not get it.
Perhaps, that is what deep love is.
I smiled at her, "I'm happy to see you happy."
Then I turned around. It would be better for the memory of her and me to stay here, rather than the abuse she would inflict when she woke up.
I was walking on the street, no longer feeling as anxious and anxious as when I came here, but rather much calmer.
The next day, I told Regent King Qingtian that I was leaving the capital.
He took me to the Dragon King Temple in Shicheng.
He said to me, "You will live here from now on."
I live there alone.
He didn't ask me again if I knew I was wrong.
I won't mention it either.
Sometimes it’s enough to just know whether it’s right or wrong.
Sometimes I practice martial arts, sometimes I read, and sometimes I go down the mountain to do farm work for the people.
My days are peaceful, like a pool of stagnant water, but safe.
Later, he gave me many scriptures.
I read it word by word.
One day, he brought me a copy of the Sutra of the Past Vows of Bodhisattva Vajra.
He told me that his mother was suffering in hell, and if I recited this sutra, I could help eliminate her sins.
So, starting from midnight every night, I would sit on the hillside outside the Dragon King Temple and read the Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva's Sutra aloud.
When I began to read, only the valley responded to me.
Later, there were gradually more... things around me, floating around me.
I have read the scriptures for so long, and I know that they are all sad and helpless ghosts.
They were listening to me chanting sutras to help them attain nirvana.
The sound of my Bible reading became louder and louder, and sometimes I felt that the scriptures floated out of my mouth, with an echo that shook the valley.
That autumn, I shaved my head and converted to Buddhism.
On the day of my conversion, I saw my mother.
She appeared before me with a happy and peaceful face.
This is the only thing I have ever done for her in my life.
Everything that happened before was calculated and exploited.
The love between mother and son can only continue after they experience life and death, and are separated by Yin and Yang.
When I traveled around the world with the Regent King Qingtian, I saw that all living beings had their joys and sorrows. I don't seek to become a Buddha, I only seek to atone for my sins.
So, I wore a pair of straw sandals, carried a bag, and went down the mountain.
Many, many years later, my legend began to spread in the world.
They call me the Straw Sandals Monk. I have helped many people, saved many people, and liberated many dead souls.
No one knows who I was in the first half of my life, and I don’t want to remember. I only remember that I was a monk wearing straw sandals.
Amitabha, I only remember one sentence that Rouyao said, that she hopes everyone is well.
This is how I made my ambition!
(End of this chapter)