The dead ghosts were waiting for this sentence, and they immediately rushed into the banquet. Fu Xueman and I were of course in the first table, and the old bastard and a few dead ghosts who looked well-known sat at the bottom. Old man Zhang opened the wine jar, and the aroma of wine filled the whole room, making me swallow my saliva.
Old man Zhang poured wine for all of us, then stood aside with his head bowed.
The old bastard raised the wine glass and said to me with a smile: "Normally, the banquet can only begin after the ceremony, but you two are getting married in the underworld, so there is no need to abide by the rules of the world of the living. On behalf of the garden, I would like to offer a toast to the two newlyweds and wish them a happy marriage!" He raised his head and drank the glass of wine in one gulp.
Fu Xueman shyly picked up the wine glass, just like a young wife, and nudged me with her elbow, motioning me to pick up the glass as well. I pretended to be stupid and didn't know what she meant, but stretched my neck and whispered to the old bastard: "Where is the toilet? I need to pee."
As soon as this unpleasant remark came out, all the guests at the table were stunned. The old bastard smiled at me contemptuously and said, "Don't you know that there are no toilets in the tomb?"
Fu Xueman immediately looked unhappy and whispered to me, "Can't you hold it in for a while?"
"Oh, I'll hold it in for a while."
I picked up the wine with a smile and drank it with Fu Xueman, and then Old Man Zhang poured more wine for us. The guests under the old bastard began to toast us one by one, and they all introduced themselves. Some of them were bandits in the Republic of China, and some were great scholars in the late Qing Dynasty. Damn, how did these unrelated dead ghosts get together
I pointed at the dead bandit and said, "Old Hu, you have lost a lot of energy and blood. You need to replenish your body. If you hadn't been so strong when you were alive, you would have died long ago."
Fu Xueman heard what I said so harshly, and immediately nudged me with her elbow.
Old Hu, who was a carefree person, laughed and said, "Mr. Xi has a very good eye. How can I replenish my body?"
"Come to my shop later and I'll give you two Yin-boosting pills." I turned to look at the great scholar from the late Qing Dynasty and said, "Mr. Lu, you are so old and yet you are imitating young people. Your health is important. Now you are not only deficient in Qi and blood, but also in all your internal organs. If you don't take the medicine, you will die in three days."
Lao Lu stroked his white beard and asked, "What is burping?"
"A burp in the world of the living is called kicking the legs, while in the underworld it is called the soul flying away. Do you understand?" I said in a connoisseur's tone.
Lao Lu was shocked: "It's so serious, how can I treat it?"
"Well, I can only teach you one thing, otherwise it won't work." I stood up and walked behind Lao Lu, lowered my head and whispered a few words in his ear, and Lao Lu nodded in agreement.
The old bastard looked at me with a sinister smile, as if he saw through my intention to cause trouble, but he did not stop me. In his eyes, I was probably just a little monkey at best, how much could I possibly stir up
After I sat back down, Fu Xueman whispered to me unhappily, "Please, today is our big day, don't be so sick, okay?"
"Okay, okay." I nodded, picked up the chopsticks and took two bites, then deliberately said, "My wife has ordered that I can no longer treat you. But, ahem, some of you may not survive tonight, so be careful when drinking."
When the others behind heard this, their faces turned pale with fear. After all, I am the descendant of ghost stories, and my job is to treat ghosts. Who dares not to believe me? Just as I was about to say something, the old bastard clapped his hands and said loudly: "The auspicious time has arrived, please ask the newlyweds to take their seats and perform the ceremony of worship!"
My heart sank. What was supposed to come has finally come. It's only twelve forty-five now. The old bastard is really punctual!