Happy and peaceful days always give me an unreal feeling. Even though I know very well that it is only short-lived, the happiness that Ruxue and I have forced ourselves to have, but I am still so uneasy and worried about losing it.
We are afraid that being too sweet will make it harder to forget the days we spent together in the future. We are also afraid that we are not sweet enough and miss this forced half a year.
Regarding our inseparability, no one in the Miao village pretended to notice, and even the great shaman of Boche here turned a blind eye.
This village is very big, but compared to other Miao villages. In fact, after hundreds of years of seclusion, the people here are very familiar with each other. Who doesn't know anything about Ruxue and me
I have heard such remarks more than once: "It's a pity that this young man is not a Miao."
"It's really hard for them. It's a pity that he can't marry into our village yet."
Whenever I hear such remarks, my heart feels bitter, but what else can I pray for? This village is already very benevolent. Other Miao villages would never allow Miao girls to marry Han people. This village can at least accept Han people as wives.
And everyone turned a blind eye to our relationship, so that we could have a breathing space and a past that we could recall when we were inevitably separated.
I stayed with Ruxue until very late every day before sending her back to her cabin. Finally, I returned to my own place and looked forward to meeting her the next day.
My master who lived with me almost didn't care about my state. He just said one thing to me: "Being together is as good as we can be, even if we are crazy, it doesn't matter."
"Master, have you ever been crazy?" Actually, I really want to know if the young Master at that time had ever been so crazy about Grandma Ling Qing.
"What do you think?" The master entered the room with his hands behind his back, his back a little forlorn.
At that moment, I felt that Master had been crazy, or was still crazy to this day. He was so alone and used debauchery to cover up the pain in his heart. Would I be like this too
I suddenly understood what Master said. The only thing I am luckier than you is that I am an orphan.
In this way, he can spend his whole life to repay this love as he pleases, because he doesn't want to betray Lao Li, so he can only betray Ling Qing's love.
I try not to think about this, although I have considered whether I can have a solution that has both ends, such as joining a village and learning witchcraft without giving up Taoism. But that is impossible. It is not a question of learning, but a question of inheritance.
Because when I entered the village, I had to withdraw from the sect. From now on, I would no longer be a member of Lao Li’s lineage. I could only have one identity, that is, becoming a sorcerer of the village. From now on, I would no longer have any relationship with my sect.
I couldn't let Master down like this, even though he said he wouldn't interfere with any of my choices.
On this day, I sent Ruxue home as usual, but when I turned around, I found a person waiting for me who I didn’t have much contact with, it was Irene.
We chose a secluded place to talk. When Irene saw me, her first words were: "You and Ruxue, go away from here. I am Ruxue's sister, and I will help her with everything."
I didn't understand what Irene meant, but I just looked at her strangely and said, "Aren't you against me being with Ruxue? Why do you want us to elope together now?"
"Is love something that others object to? If you love her, you won't be afraid even if you are the enemy of the whole world." Irene said quietly, then paused, and then said to me seriously : "Love should be like a fire. Even if it burns to ashes and will eventually be extinguished, it is still a fierce love and a willing heart. Let's go, be as happy as you can, and love each other without caring about anything."
Irene's eyes were so hot that I didn't dare to look at them. At this moment, I felt that Irene was the kind of young girl that people say. Once you fall in love, she is crazy and pure, passionate like fire, and willing to pay for it, even if He was shattered to pieces afterwards.
It's a pity that Ruxue and I can't love each other without worries, because we don't have the best of both worlds. We can live up to Tathagata and live up to you, so we only have a choice, and we have already chosen.
"Chen Chengyi, please speak up. Don't you feel pitiful for Ruxue? Don't you feel pitiful for yourself? Are you two fools? You actually talk about it so sweetly, half a year's agreement. If it were me, either Together, or never together, the half-year agreement is just a wound." Irene said very directly.
I sighed, took out a puff of cigarette, and said to Eileen very seriously: "Irene, Ruxue and I both have our own choices. We can't be so bold, but we also don't have the courage to do it forever. Regret together. The love you said is fire, it should burn wildly and hotly. Then, just think that Ruxue and I are like moths flying into the flame. A moment of brilliance is enough."
"You are a fool, Ruxue is also a fool, and I am also a fool. It's pity that I still hope that the best sister can be happy for a lifetime, at least not so regretful." After Irene said that, she turned around and left.
I was left, looking at her back with some confusion. Is she also a fool? Regret, is she also regretful
I didn't think that much, I just thought that if Qinhuai and Surou's relationship didn't go well, I would also regret it. Her feelings for Ruxue were just like my feelings for Qinhuai and Surou.
-------Dividing line-------
The days passed by like water, and in a blink of an eye it was late autumn, and it was almost the beginning of winter, November.
Ruxue and I are very happy when we don’t think about separation.
And when we forget our identity, we are no different from ordinary lovers. When I hold her, I feel warm, and when I kiss her, my heart beats very fast. We would occasionally quarrel, but we would always make up quickly.
I would say silly love words to her, and she would happily cook for me.
Ruxue's cooking is very lively, because when she cooks, my master, Uncle Hui, Brother Chengxin, and rice balls all come to eat and drink, because the rice cooked by Ruxue is really not that delicious.
"Gu Feng Cai, I'm afraid there are not many people in this world who can completely copy it, and Ruxue girl is one." This is the evaluation given to Ruxue by my master.
And whenever this happens, Ruxue just leans next to me very calmly and quietly and smiles lightly.
She is still that way, indifferent to everyone, but I just like her indifference.
At noon that day, after finishing our meal, the master squinted his eyes and said to Ruxue and me: "You guys should go out for a walk. It would be a pity if you spend all your time in this village. Sanwa'er , aren’t you thinking about taking Ruxue to see a movie? Go ahead.”
Upon hearing this, Tuantuan asked nervously: "Uncle Jiang, will it be dangerous for them to go out?"
Fanfan also followed Tuantuan and looked at my master worriedly.
My master waved his hand and said: "At this time of year, winter is about to begin. Those bastards in Heiyan Miao Village don't dare to move, but we are about to take action. After you come back this time, you should separate. Don't be disgusted. ”
Master tried to speak as lightly as possible, but he lowered his head and I couldn't see Master's expression clearly.
But at that moment, I held Ruxue's hand tightly, and her hand trembled slightly.
It has been almost five months since the beginning of July. The half-year appointment has arrived so soon? I still lost track of time in my daze, and Ruxue was afraid it was the same.
There was a clang, which was the sound of the spoon falling from Irene who was serving the soup. She murmured: "Uncle Jiang, are we going to take action? Are you going to separate them? You can't let them be together anymore. ?”
The master raised his head, looked at Irene with a deep look in his eyes, and said: "We are going to separate. No one can say the outcome of this operation. Even if the matter is over, Chengyi and Ruxue should have their own things to do. Just do it, it’s just right now.”
Eileen put down the bowl angrily and said to my master: "You are really ruthless. No wonder you could abandon Grandma Ling Qing so simply back then. Do you have to let your apprentice learn from you? Your apprentice's love It’s his own.”
The master did not speak or defend, but sighed, stood up and walked to the edge of the corridor, looked at Eileen and asked: "Irene, is love really that important to you? It is more important than anything else. ?"
Erin met my master's gaze and said firmly and seriously: "It is more important than my life. I don't know others, I only know me. I was born for love. I don't understand others, others You don’t need to understand me either.”
Why is Master talking to Irene like this? Although I was sad, I was also surprised.
Ruxue had already gently held Irene's hand and said, "Irene, you don't have to do this. I will not regret my own choice, and I can bear the sadness."
Eileen glanced at Ruxue and said, "Ruxue, you are stupid, we are all stupid."
Uncle Hui recited a Buddhist name, and Master just looked at the village outside the corridor, not knowing what he was thinking.