"Boom~"
Zhao Guanren slammed into a field of crops. It was a big man's night just now, and now it was evening when the sun was setting. When he sat up in a daze, he saw that Lu Datou was thrown beside him, surrounded by a huge piece of sugar cane. land.
"Sugar cane? Have we returned home..."
Lu Datou sat up suspiciously, pulled out his dagger and chopped a piece of sugarcane, and he took a casual bite and it burst into water, but Zhao Guanren raised his hand and looked at his watch, but said: "Southeastern Australia! Five ten in the afternoon This is the safest teleportation point!"
"Fuck me! Fuck me and come from abroad, but imported sugar cane is no different..."
Lu Datou got up and looked around, but Zhao Guanren asked in a cold voice: "Smart assistant! What the hell do you want to do? Do you want a corpse or a crystal? Will the giants come when I find a corpse?"
"Boss! Don't get angry with me, it's really none of my business..."
Xiao Ai appeared weeping, kneeling in front of him and crying: "The main system also has a self-learning function. It has learned a lot from you, but its mission is to recover the property lost by the starship, and the giants have never responded. passed its distress signal, so it was just waiting!"
"You're fucking good at acting..."
Lu Datou squatted down and taunted: "You are crying for a computer program, and you simulate tears yourself, fake or not, you, I think you are the fucking main system, you want corpse crystals, and you want to be a bitch." Set up a memorial archway, shameless!"
"I'm not the main system, I have feelings, my name is Xiaoai, Fang Xiaoai..."
Xiao Ai cried loudly, but Zhao Guanren scolded: "Enough! I don't care what you are, I just want you to give me a promise, after you get four power crystals, one billion vaccines, let my brother go, I will help you find the corpse alone, can I do it?"
"The main system said no, Vaccine and Lu Yang can only choose one of the two..."
Xiaoai choked up and said: "The main system just wants to complete its mission. As long as you take back the four crystals and the remains of the six crew members, it will not force you to do anything, and will serve you all the way to the rescue ship of the giants." Until it comes, but... it may never come!"
"If you want to cooperate, you can't hide from me..."
Zhao Guanren squinted his eyes and asked, "Why did the giant race create corpse poison? If they descend on the earth, will they turn this place into a death star?"
"I can't answer this question for you. What the giants will do is not predictable by the system..."
Xiao Ai wiped her tears and said: "The giants created corpse poison to experiment, find interesting technologies, and creatures worthy of research, and at the same time satisfy their perverted desire to kill. Of course! The word pervert is from the perspective of human beings. , define them yourself!"
"Just like we watch cockfights and dogfights..."
"Almost! They like to watch the high-level life fight, and they are also part of the research..."
Xiao Ai said sternly: "A race that doesn't respect life will not treat its compatriots kindly, maybe they don't even want to come to rescue, and your trust value is very high, the system will not randomly choose strangers, so you will not be Give up or hurt easily!"
"Speaking is better than singing, it's all a fucking routine..."
Lu Datou yanked the big gold chain around his neck hard, but he couldn't take it off even if he kept pulling, so he could only ask depressedly: "Hey! Why did you get me a gold chain? I've already passed the stage of pretending Now, how can I pick up a foreign girl if I do this?"
"You ask me what I do, ask your own assistant..."
Xiao Ai rolled his big eyes at him, who knew that he heard a "swish", a coquettish young woman in a red dress appeared, blinked her big blue eyes and said with a smile: "Boss! This is the decoration that best suits your temperament." Things, they handpicked them for you!"
"I'm going! I'm going to die, you guys are going to engage in point-to-point marking..."
Lu Datou backed away in fright
After taking two steps, the young woman said with a coquettish smile: "Boss! After a long period of observation, the main system has promoted you to a first-class refugee passenger. I will be your secretary in the future. Please give me a name." Bar!"
"Fuck it! It's called Fang Xiaoai, you can call it Fang Xiaoyou, ouch, the two sisters..."
Lu Datou looked at it disdainfully and vigilantly. Zhao Guanren got up and asked, "Fang Xiaoyou! Do you have a ghost particle shield for him? His force value is not high!"
"Don't worry! People know my boss better than you..."
Xiaoyou held Lu Da's head with a smile, and said: "He has specially chosen gravitational protection for him, all attacks within the load will be diverted away, and there is also a particle shock knife as a weapon, which can cut iron like mud on call. , killing people invisibly!"
"Damn it! Xiaoai, why don't I have a weapon..."
Zhao Guanren looked at Xiao Ai in surprise, Xiao Ai stood up and shrugged: "You are not Zhan Wuscum, why do you want that thing, don't listen to that woman bragging to you, what kind of broken vibration knife consumes power energy, It also affects your profound energy performance!"
"Xiaoai! Sisters respect you as a senior, don't be shameless, what do you want to tear up..."
Xiaomei stepped forward to push her aggressively, and the two virtual girls immediately quarreled. Lu Datou quickly pulled Zhao Guanren away, and said in surprise: "What the hell is this? Why are these two things still arguing? And why do I have an imperial accent?"
"Ha~ Your personal secretary, you ask me..."
Zhao Guanren smiled and said: "Of course, Xiaoyou set the image according to your preferences. Look at Xiaoyou's pair of luxurious headlights. I'm afraid it has a G cup. You are short of milk in five elements, you, but I am Unexpectedly, you actually have a soft spot for girls in Beijing!"
"This thing is horrible..."
Lu Datou tugged at the gold necklace around his neck, and said in a weak voice: "This is all my deepest thoughts, but I let it all come out, let's take it off as soon as possible, I have The feeling of being entangled by a female ghost is too scary!"
"Hey~ This is a double-edged sword, I don't know when it will be pierced into my heart..."
Zhao Guanren shook his head and walked out. At the same time, he sent a verbal text message to the Dragon Queen, telling her that he had arrived safely, so that she and her family would not have to worry, and they could go back after finishing their errands.
"What the hell is this? Why are all sheep black..."
Lu Datou walked out of the sugarcane field in doubt, but Zhao Guanren covered his mouth and dragged him back. Outside was a vast farm. In addition to hundreds of black sheep that had turned into corpses, there were also many mutated bulls. There is no sign of human activity.
"Didn't I tell you last night that the animals here are fiercer than living corpses, so be careful..."
Zhao Guanren pulled out the Red Luan Saber and walked back, Lu Datou also pulled out his sword, he was forcibly brought here unexpectedly, and the sword that was usually hung with pretense became a weapon, fortunately it was also a rare heaven-level weapon, If you pick the spike of the sword, you can use it as a sword.
"I'll fuck you, uncle, this is too fierce..."
Lu Datou suddenly stopped in horror. There were several kangaroos on the east side of the sugarcane field. One of them was not only seven or eight meters high, but also had three big hideous heads. All kinds of skulls are bulging.
"It doesn't look easy to mess with, withdraw..."
Zhao Guanren hurriedly turned around and went to the other side. The huge sugarcane field was probably hundreds of acres, and the ground was full of croaking toads. Fortunately, the toads would not transform into corpses, otherwise they would have been swallowed alive.
"Boss! There's something going on here..."
Lu Datou beckoned slyly, and saw a small village when he peeled away the sugarcane. There were more than a dozen houses scattered on the green hillside, and only a dozen dead cats and dogs were wandering around. The two immediately ran out back and forth in tacit understanding. .
"Kill the dogs first! Don't let them bark..."
Zhao Guanren held up his long knife to face several vicious dogs, but Lu Datou was useless.
Knife, he believed in his amateur skills very much, rushed up and swished two swords and chopped up a kitten. As a result, many cats were under the crotch of the car, and he was in a hurry when there were too many kittens.
"Damn it! You must be reincarnated as a rat spirit, why did you recruit so many cats..."
Zhao Guanren hurriedly turned around and fought side by side with him. The two of them hacked together for about ten minutes, killing hundreds of cats and dogs before they stopped panting. Finally, they chose a mansion that looked like the village chief's house. There were several cars at the door. Car house to start with.
"Boom~"
A living female corpse suddenly lay on the window, wearing only underwear and roaring with teeth and claws. Lu Datou walked to the window cheerfully, stretched his head to look at it and said with a smile: "Your man is not at home, why don't you put him in bed today?" You are comfortable, sorry for your sexy underwear!"
"Pfft~"
Lu Datou stabbed his sword into the crack of the window, and directly nailed the mother's living corpse to the window, but he drew out his sword and tapped on the glass lightly, while Zhao Guanren had already walked around to the gate, stabbed the lock and walked in. , the remaining two living corpses were led to the window.
"Oh!"
Zhao Guanren ended the two living corpses with one knife, and he still cooperated comfortably with his brother. Lu Datou not only cooperated with him tacitly, but also was a chatterbox like him. After Lu Datou ran in, the two opened the refrigerator and cleaned up , Beer cans are all packed into the bag.
"Oh~ I just made this dragon robe during Chinese New Year, it's a pity..."
Lu Datou found his clothes from the bedroom, and sighed and changed out the prince's dragon robe, but Zhao Guanren dug out a set of camping equipment in the second bedroom, put it on to make himself more like a wilderness survivor, and then cut off the I have had long hair for several years.
"Why do you cut your hair? Who doesn't know you with your face..."
Lu Datou came in in surprise, but Zhao Guanren didn't say anything, just took out a handsome guy's driver's license from the drawer, and said, "Xiao Ai! Make me look more like this Jim, with a straighter nose bridge and a lower jaw." So wide!"
"No way? You can still have plastic surgery..."
Lu Datou hurriedly sat beside him, only to see that Zhao Guanren's face suddenly twitched, and he couldn't help moaning, but in just two minutes, he seemed to be a different person, 80% similar to the guy on the driver's license, And more masculine.
"You should be able to do it too. Now Asians are the key targets, so it's not easy to mix in..."
Zhao Guanren went into the bathroom, rubbed his face, trimmed his hair with scissors, and finally looked at himself in the mirror. He was a handsome guy in his early twenties with a wide face and a high nose bridge. Charismatic, with little trace of Asian heritage.
"Damn it! Don't you..."
Zhao Guanren was taken aback as soon as he walked out. Lu Datou found a poster of the pirate captain—Johnny Depp, and he was the most attractive in his forties. Trim beards and haircuts.
"Haha~ Please call me Captain Jack..."
Lu Datou threw down the scissors and jumped up. Unexpectedly, this guy was 90% similar to Depp. The two of them were about the same size. Their hair was only cut to shoulder length. In addition to his jeans and washed blue shirt, he looked like a real person. Take off a high imitation version of Depp.
"I'll go! You are too ostentatious, but it really seems..."
Zhao Guanren clapped his hands in admiration. Lu Datou's mustache was cut very coquettishly, and he looked like he had been injected with chicken blood. He said in the mirror, "Depp, who is in his forties, hangs and beats all kinds of little fresh meat." , now the foreign girl is still throwing herself on me!"
"You have to think of a reasonable identity for yourself. Xiaoyou can help you translate at the same time, but your accent will not change. When people hear you, you are a fake foreigner..."
Zhao Guanren walked out with a smile. The two of them quickly cleaned up the village, got two shotguns and a pistol, and dyed their hair brown. After eating and drinking, they started a machine. The yellow classic muscle car drove on the dark and empty road...